Thanks, Tom!

Confiscating jewellery from survivors of a war zone makes you look like a fucking Nazi. And the obscene thing is, that is the intention. It's there to look appropriately harsh. Indecent. Filthy. A moral stain. And no-one of good character would have ever proposed such a thing in the first place.

Bit harsh. He speaks very highly of you.

Legally, I mean. Importing explosives was banned. Can’t imagine why…

Ha! But, no - what I mean is, nobody could buy fireworks, privately or professionally, when I was growing up in NI.

Wasn’t like that when I was growing up! I was at secondary school before I even saw a fireworks display.

Not quite the same thing, but my daughter & I will sing absolutely anything that fits UB40’s Ivory Madonna (just that line), and follow it up with the ‘ba-ba-dah!’ Started with brontosaurus earrings. Have definitely done foodstuffs.

Surely that means you should bring your *actual toilet* into B&Q…?