Joe Garden
@joegarden.bsky.social
I look like a young Matt Damon.
Today I learned that Mama Cass Elliot and Keith Moon died in the same bedroom.
January 14, 2026 at 6:27 PM
Today I learned that Mama Cass Elliot and Keith Moon died in the same bedroom.
A six-armed robot Sith Lord? Why I never!
January 9, 2026 at 12:14 PM
A six-armed robot Sith Lord? Why I never!
The Jefferson Airplane Live At The Fillmore-ass ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey still annoys the hell out of me.
January 2, 2026 at 6:41 PM
The Jefferson Airplane Live At The Fillmore-ass ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey still annoys the hell out of me.
I have a week off so I went to take a nap and was descended upon by brutes.
December 29, 2025 at 5:54 PM
I have a week off so I went to take a nap and was descended upon by brutes.
Dogs gotta walk, and after being cooped up for two days, Carmen was ready to brave the elements.
December 28, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Dogs gotta walk, and after being cooped up for two days, Carmen was ready to brave the elements.
There’s a gag in Logan Lucky, a film released in 2017, about one of the demands of prison rioters being access to a copy of the sixth book in the Song of Fire and Ice series, and the warden announcing on the intercom that the book had not yet been released, despite the HBO series continuing past it.
December 24, 2025 at 3:57 PM
There’s a gag in Logan Lucky, a film released in 2017, about one of the demands of prison rioters being access to a copy of the sixth book in the Song of Fire and Ice series, and the warden announcing on the intercom that the book had not yet been released, despite the HBO series continuing past it.
The post office gets a bad rap. I buy and sell a lot on eBay and their success rate is better than 99% in my experience. Plus, in this package-heavy time of year, they wind up delivering faster than expected. Thank you, postal carriers!
December 24, 2025 at 2:51 PM
The post office gets a bad rap. I buy and sell a lot on eBay and their success rate is better than 99% in my experience. Plus, in this package-heavy time of year, they wind up delivering faster than expected. Thank you, postal carriers!
Eddie Fisher had 28 charting singles between 1953 and 1955. The man shat charting singles for a decade. What does it do to your brain when you stop being so popular? When your daughter becomes more famous than you?
December 18, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Eddie Fisher had 28 charting singles between 1953 and 1955. The man shat charting singles for a decade. What does it do to your brain when you stop being so popular? When your daughter becomes more famous than you?
I took a day job which is a great job and now I can return to the fold of having valid tax write-offs for entertainment expenses. Hot-cha!
December 13, 2025 at 9:19 PM
I took a day job which is a great job and now I can return to the fold of having valid tax write-offs for entertainment expenses. Hot-cha!
Now that they are established as acting greats and not just teen heartthrobs, I would love to see a new movie starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.
December 2, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Now that they are established as acting greats and not just teen heartthrobs, I would love to see a new movie starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.
If the salty snack you manufacture has a story, keep it to yourself. I want my consumer goods faceless as a planarian.
November 20, 2025 at 11:38 PM
If the salty snack you manufacture has a story, keep it to yourself. I want my consumer goods faceless as a planarian.
That meme where Principal Skinner is saying it’s the kids who are wrong but it’s every establishment dem talking about the progressive wing of the party.
November 8, 2025 at 2:38 AM
That meme where Principal Skinner is saying it’s the kids who are wrong but it’s every establishment dem talking about the progressive wing of the party.
I’ve been listening to episodes of Blank Check when I have trouble sleeping and I have to say that the Richard Lawson episode about Always (the least of the Spielberg films in notoriety, not quality) is hands down my favorite episode.
October 30, 2025 at 9:12 PM
I’ve been listening to episodes of Blank Check when I have trouble sleeping and I have to say that the Richard Lawson episode about Always (the least of the Spielberg films in notoriety, not quality) is hands down my favorite episode.
It’s weird how people downplayed a new disease entering our everyday lives. Never mind that the hand waving of “It’s no worse than a cold,” is wrong; the fact that we now have a new disease we can contract several times a year is just part of our lives, and that’s bizarre.
October 28, 2025 at 12:58 PM
It’s weird how people downplayed a new disease entering our everyday lives. Never mind that the hand waving of “It’s no worse than a cold,” is wrong; the fact that we now have a new disease we can contract several times a year is just part of our lives, and that’s bizarre.
Yesterday, I sold a book of photographs of uncircumcised penises for $100, so take that, Internet porn!
October 21, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Yesterday, I sold a book of photographs of uncircumcised penises for $100, so take that, Internet porn!
The real wild card at the flea market this year is the woman who does “soul paintings.” She has been doing about one an hour since I got here, which isn’t crazy money, but it’s more than I would have guessed.
October 19, 2025 at 7:27 PM
The real wild card at the flea market this year is the woman who does “soul paintings.” She has been doing about one an hour since I got here, which isn’t crazy money, but it’s more than I would have guessed.
For the second time ever, someone wanted to reach me via Facebook Messenger Audio, and I am livid.
October 18, 2025 at 8:29 PM
For the second time ever, someone wanted to reach me via Facebook Messenger Audio, and I am livid.
We’re not doing a proper 31 in 31, but we’re watching a lot more horror movies than usual. First up, Ti West’s debut The Roost and Pearl. What an…inauspicious beginning for the guy that would make House of the Devil. It’s “This is cheesy and we know it,” posture actually made me angry.
October 7, 2025 at 8:49 PM
We’re not doing a proper 31 in 31, but we’re watching a lot more horror movies than usual. First up, Ti West’s debut The Roost and Pearl. What an…inauspicious beginning for the guy that would make House of the Devil. It’s “This is cheesy and we know it,” posture actually made me angry.
Which came first, Stephen Miller’s face or his personality?
October 2, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Which came first, Stephen Miller’s face or his personality?
Reposted by Joe Garden
Pete Hegseth accidentally flipping a skateboard into his nuts on live TV
September 29, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Pete Hegseth accidentally flipping a skateboard into his nuts on live TV
I was in Florida with my wife as she prepared for her mother’s passing. Now I’m in Wisconsin helping my mom move. I haven’t been home in two weeks. I am really ready to go home.
September 28, 2025 at 2:22 PM
I was in Florida with my wife as she prepared for her mother’s passing. Now I’m in Wisconsin helping my mom move. I haven’t been home in two weeks. I am really ready to go home.
Is today’s Wordle some kind of bullshit word? I’m five tries in with the middle three right and in the right place, and I am out of every option I can think of.
September 27, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Is today’s Wordle some kind of bullshit word? I’m five tries in with the middle three right and in the right place, and I am out of every option I can think of.
I’ve never had to deal with a wacky neighbor situation before, but within the last year, my mom’s neighbor keeps popping by and asking about my mom in the third person like she’s not right there.
September 27, 2025 at 7:30 PM
I’ve never had to deal with a wacky neighbor situation before, but within the last year, my mom’s neighbor keeps popping by and asking about my mom in the third person like she’s not right there.