Jason “JKokonutz” Kokoszka
@jkokoszka.bsky.social
I have depression and anxiety. I am an artist and musician (sometimes) and will probably post mostly about my thoughts, feelings, and dreams.
I watched a video reviewing the first 4 or 5 issues of Youngblood that was kind of funny. I had #0-#4 back in the day, but I don’t think I have all of those anymore. I was a big fan of Image Comics when they started, and I bought many of their comics for a couple years. In retrospect, they were (1)
December 14, 2025 at 8:12 PM
I watched a video reviewing the first 4 or 5 issues of Youngblood that was kind of funny. I had #0-#4 back in the day, but I don’t think I have all of those anymore. I was a big fan of Image Comics when they started, and I bought many of their comics for a couple years. In retrospect, they were (1)
I have to clear the snow off my car, but I might do it tomorrow. I really don’t feel like going out in the cold right now.
December 14, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I have to clear the snow off my car, but I might do it tomorrow. I really don’t feel like going out in the cold right now.
I think the Powerball jackpot is rather big now (not sure if I’ll play for the next drawing) and I was thinking about how unfair it is that lottery winners are significantly taxed, but other people who earn millions and billions of dollars get all kinds of tax breaks. Don’t get me wrong; if I (1)
December 13, 2025 at 8:22 PM
I think the Powerball jackpot is rather big now (not sure if I’ll play for the next drawing) and I was thinking about how unfair it is that lottery winners are significantly taxed, but other people who earn millions and billions of dollars get all kinds of tax breaks. Don’t get me wrong; if I (1)
I think my friend that usually calls me several times a week must have seen a comment I made stating I don’t have close friends. I made a post about this and hid it from him, but he hasn’t called in over a week, which I can’t remember the last time this happened, so I think he must be upset with (1)
December 13, 2025 at 8:15 PM
I think my friend that usually calls me several times a week must have seen a comment I made stating I don’t have close friends. I made a post about this and hid it from him, but he hasn’t called in over a week, which I can’t remember the last time this happened, so I think he must be upset with (1)
I made a post on Facebook criticizing Republicans and a friend who is a Trump supporter (she has always been kind to me) stated that she agrees with him because he’s making sure public funds go to the right people, but I doubt it is true. However, I didn’t want to start an argument, so I didn’t (1)
December 13, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I made a post on Facebook criticizing Republicans and a friend who is a Trump supporter (she has always been kind to me) stated that she agrees with him because he’s making sure public funds go to the right people, but I doubt it is true. However, I didn’t want to start an argument, so I didn’t (1)
I have a feeling that our government has not had so many unqualified, incompetent people serving at once ever before. I don’t know that for a fact, but it’s hard to imagine a worse administration than our current one. Hopefully, there will be a major change in 2028, but I’m not very optimistic.
December 10, 2025 at 8:34 PM
I have a feeling that our government has not had so many unqualified, incompetent people serving at once ever before. I don’t know that for a fact, but it’s hard to imagine a worse administration than our current one. Hopefully, there will be a major change in 2028, but I’m not very optimistic.
I decided to go back to simpler compositions and work my way back up, from solo pieces to ensembles again. I still find writing for three or four instruments difficult, and I am often guided by theory instead of the actual sound of the music. I saw a video that suggested sketching on paper (1)
December 10, 2025 at 8:27 PM
I decided to go back to simpler compositions and work my way back up, from solo pieces to ensembles again. I still find writing for three or four instruments difficult, and I am often guided by theory instead of the actual sound of the music. I saw a video that suggested sketching on paper (1)
I saw a video about Carnatic music, originating from South India. It’s rhythmically complex, with long phrases and polyrhythms. I’ve heard jazz influenced by it, namely from John McLaughlin, Rez Abbasi, and Rudresh Mahanthappa. It’s a fascinating style that also influences metal and math rock.
December 7, 2025 at 7:26 PM
I saw a video about Carnatic music, originating from South India. It’s rhythmically complex, with long phrases and polyrhythms. I’ve heard jazz influenced by it, namely from John McLaughlin, Rez Abbasi, and Rudresh Mahanthappa. It’s a fascinating style that also influences metal and math rock.
Lately, I feel like I have been simply throwing notes on the staff in Sibelius, instead of developing ideas first and transcribing them. My work is based a lot on music theory and fairly basic harmonies. The results have sounded okay but not necessarily very interesting. Maybe I’ll develop more (1)
December 6, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Lately, I feel like I have been simply throwing notes on the staff in Sibelius, instead of developing ideas first and transcribing them. My work is based a lot on music theory and fairly basic harmonies. The results have sounded okay but not necessarily very interesting. Maybe I’ll develop more (1)
I’m trying something a little different with my current composition. I’m writing out each part separately instead of writing all three parts (it’s a string trio) section by section. I don’t know how well this method will work. I’ll make adjustments as I go along.
December 6, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I’m trying something a little different with my current composition. I’m writing out each part separately instead of writing all three parts (it’s a string trio) section by section. I don’t know how well this method will work. I’ll make adjustments as I go along.
I read earlier that memory loss is more prevalent than previously thought as a side effect of ECT. I had ECT 3 years ago, and I don’t know if my memory has always been bad, or if it changed after that treatment. I have a hard time remembering dates, how many times something happened and how long ago
December 6, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I read earlier that memory loss is more prevalent than previously thought as a side effect of ECT. I had ECT 3 years ago, and I don’t know if my memory has always been bad, or if it changed after that treatment. I have a hard time remembering dates, how many times something happened and how long ago
This may sound whiny but the last time I went on a date or had sex was over 9 years ago. I hope (possibly in vain) that that won’t be the last time for both, although I don’t have any good way to meet potential partners. I’ve never gotten more than a few matches on dating sites, none of which (1)
December 3, 2025 at 6:59 PM
This may sound whiny but the last time I went on a date or had sex was over 9 years ago. I hope (possibly in vain) that that won’t be the last time for both, although I don’t have any good way to meet potential partners. I’ve never gotten more than a few matches on dating sites, none of which (1)
I woke up from a dream where I lived in a house with an entrance way that had ornate windows. I was married (I guess) and there were raiders attacking the house. I managed to stop them but my wife was murdered. The gun battle was very graphic. Then, the next day, there was a second wave of (1)
December 2, 2025 at 7:56 AM
I woke up from a dream where I lived in a house with an entrance way that had ornate windows. I was married (I guess) and there were raiders attacking the house. I managed to stop them but my wife was murdered. The gun battle was very graphic. Then, the next day, there was a second wave of (1)
I’ve been watching a bunch of Cops episodes, and I really think they overreact often. I guess if you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail. It’s like the cops assume guilt but the courts (are supposed to) assume innocence. Two separate legal systems at work. They claim the show is good for (1)
November 30, 2025 at 6:02 PM
I’ve been watching a bunch of Cops episodes, and I really think they overreact often. I guess if you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail. It’s like the cops assume guilt but the courts (are supposed to) assume innocence. Two separate legal systems at work. They claim the show is good for (1)
I’ve seen a bunch of Truth Social posts from Donald Trump this year (it’s impossible to avoid them) and it boggles my mind that people don’t unanimously understand that he is a giant asshole. He never seems like anything else to me. I can’t wait until he’s out of office.
November 28, 2025 at 6:02 PM
I’ve seen a bunch of Truth Social posts from Donald Trump this year (it’s impossible to avoid them) and it boggles my mind that people don’t unanimously understand that he is a giant asshole. He never seems like anything else to me. I can’t wait until he’s out of office.
I posted a question in a Facebook group about music theory and I’ve already gotten a bunch of responses, several of which are contradictory. I should have known better than to post anything there; people argue constantly in the comments and nobody ever has the right answer to most questions. (1)
November 28, 2025 at 5:58 PM
I posted a question in a Facebook group about music theory and I’ve already gotten a bunch of responses, several of which are contradictory. I should have known better than to post anything there; people argue constantly in the comments and nobody ever has the right answer to most questions. (1)
I just had a dream about going to a funeral with my mother, aunt, sister, and a couple of other relatives. We were in some type of van and I got into a huge argument with my mom because she was infantilizing me and had been told something by my doctor that she was unwilling to share with me.
November 26, 2025 at 11:19 AM
I just had a dream about going to a funeral with my mother, aunt, sister, and a couple of other relatives. We were in some type of van and I got into a huge argument with my mom because she was infantilizing me and had been told something by my doctor that she was unwilling to share with me.
I had a couple of dreams last night including one about a final school project I hadn’t started the day before it was due. It seemed pointless because the teacher declared that everyone would receive a 100% reduced grade after a student pissed him off. I guess he still expected us to turn it in.
November 25, 2025 at 7:04 PM
I had a couple of dreams last night including one about a final school project I hadn’t started the day before it was due. It seemed pointless because the teacher declared that everyone would receive a 100% reduced grade after a student pissed him off. I guess he still expected us to turn it in.
There is a YouTube channel called Defunctland that has deep dives into Disney’s history. While I don’t consider myself a Disney fan, these videos are fascinating. Usually, they are 1:30 to 2 hrs long, but the latest one is over 4 hrs long. Geez. I’ll still probably watch it.
November 23, 2025 at 8:20 PM
There is a YouTube channel called Defunctland that has deep dives into Disney’s history. While I don’t consider myself a Disney fan, these videos are fascinating. Usually, they are 1:30 to 2 hrs long, but the latest one is over 4 hrs long. Geez. I’ll still probably watch it.
Sometimes I regret not pursuing a career or job over the years. I’ve been living on SSDI for a long time, and haven’t worked full time for 17 years, although I’ve had several part time jobs since then. Unfortunately, it has been 9 years since my last job, and I think it would be difficult to get (1)
November 22, 2025 at 8:28 PM
Sometimes I regret not pursuing a career or job over the years. I’ve been living on SSDI for a long time, and haven’t worked full time for 17 years, although I’ve had several part time jobs since then. Unfortunately, it has been 9 years since my last job, and I think it would be difficult to get (1)
The music I’ve been writing for string quartet isn’t very idiomatic, but instead it avoids advanced techniques. I have a book about orchestration that covers all major instruments, and perhaps I should study it more. I don’t think I’m composing anything terribly difficult, and not using all options.
November 20, 2025 at 8:28 PM
The music I’ve been writing for string quartet isn’t very idiomatic, but instead it avoids advanced techniques. I have a book about orchestration that covers all major instruments, and perhaps I should study it more. I don’t think I’m composing anything terribly difficult, and not using all options.
I’m afraid my gas bill (because of heating) will be enormous this next month because my heat has been on daily. Just hot water and a pilot light cost $40 for a month. Unfortunately, I read that it doesn’t save money to constantly turn the heat on and off. Once I get the next bill, I’ll probably (1)
November 20, 2025 at 6:08 PM
I’m afraid my gas bill (because of heating) will be enormous this next month because my heat has been on daily. Just hot water and a pilot light cost $40 for a month. Unfortunately, I read that it doesn’t save money to constantly turn the heat on and off. Once I get the next bill, I’ll probably (1)
Please note: I am not in danger. This is simply a recounting of an experience I had.
Last night, I had a dream about being in a support group for people who had attempted suicide. I shared my story, which caused me to reflect on it. My last suicide attempt was in 2019 after my primary (1)
Last night, I had a dream about being in a support group for people who had attempted suicide. I shared my story, which caused me to reflect on it. My last suicide attempt was in 2019 after my primary (1)
November 19, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Please note: I am not in danger. This is simply a recounting of an experience I had.
Last night, I had a dream about being in a support group for people who had attempted suicide. I shared my story, which caused me to reflect on it. My last suicide attempt was in 2019 after my primary (1)
Last night, I had a dream about being in a support group for people who had attempted suicide. I shared my story, which caused me to reflect on it. My last suicide attempt was in 2019 after my primary (1)
I’m watching a video about a religious group that predicted the world would end in 2011, and it baffles me how anyone could buy into the convoluted reasoning that led to the prediction. Plus they picked a specific date but, because of time zones, the date changes at different times around the world.
November 18, 2025 at 5:30 PM
I’m watching a video about a religious group that predicted the world would end in 2011, and it baffles me how anyone could buy into the convoluted reasoning that led to the prediction. Plus they picked a specific date but, because of time zones, the date changes at different times around the world.
I watched the episode of Futurama with Seymour last night, and I had forgotten how sad it was. It made me wonder if my cat would miss me if I disappeared. Part of me hopes so, but part of me wouldn’t want him to be sad. It’s a question I’ll never know the answer to.
November 18, 2025 at 12:25 PM
I watched the episode of Futurama with Seymour last night, and I had forgotten how sad it was. It made me wonder if my cat would miss me if I disappeared. Part of me hopes so, but part of me wouldn’t want him to be sad. It’s a question I’ll never know the answer to.