I’m at the Delta SkyClub and I don’t see a single podcaster. I’m to understand that this is where they go when they travel. What gives?! I wanna tell them that I expected them to look different based on their voice! Anyway, please like and subscribe.

Wispy blond hair, little bitty hands, rock hard steaks at Mar a Lago… you would NOT have liked me back then.

How bout an artisanal olive oil company called “The Oilgarchy” is that something

Meet Brian Johnson, the tech billionaire who takes thousands of pills a day in order to be completely hairless, like a dolphin wearing a Gavin Newsom wig.

WordleBot’s like “SCALE was a good guess but LEELE would have been more efficient.” Bitch please.

Tired: “I can’t believe Kate McKinnon is playing a man who has been in the news recently!”

Wired: “I can’t believe Bowen Yang is dressed up as an object that has been in the news recently!”

SNL you crazy geniuses you’ve done it again.

I mean, I don’t think “eyebrows too luscious” should be a reason to deny coverage either, but I’m not gonna murder anyone over it.

Hey I just killed you
And this is crazy
But here’s my backpack
Peak Design, baby

www.peakdesign.com/products/eve...

Every once in a while I remember that in the lighthearted Richard Pryor/Gene Wilder buddy comedy Silver Streak, the villain gets brutally decapitated by an oncoming train at the end.

Having recently seen Saw VI, an entire movie that consists only of the torture of a healthcare executive, I absolutely condemn the United Healthcare murderer.

For his lack of creativity.

I mean, say what you want about United Healthcare, but this was a company who was so generous that they offered to enter me into a raffle to win an iPad if I agreed to attend classes where they would teach me how to not be fat anymore.

Find me another 320lb man who can do single-leg box jumps onto a 12” box.

No seriously, find me one. I think we could be friends. Box friends.

After telling everyone within earshot for years and years that all I want in life is to see Paul Giamatti get pissed on, I can’t believe no one ever told me that the first 30 seconds of the pilot episode of Billions is exactly that. I know now that I’m truly on my own in this world.

Wait, SAW VI is just a long commercial for universal healthcare? I mean, I don’t agree with everything Jigsaw does, but you gotta break some eggs, you know?

Oh crap I was all excited to tell people I’m on Bluesky but realized I have no idea if it’s pronounced like “Blue Sky” or “Blueskie.” How’s that for my first bluesk? I hope you rebluesk me.