Jim Twist
@jjimmyt.bsky.social
"Hope I don't see anyone I know" -Me, at this Coinstar right now.
April 22, 2025 at 6:01 AM
"Hope I don't see anyone I know" -Me, at this Coinstar right now.
The hardest part about reading your emails while you're posting to Bluesky is remembering to yield to pedestrians.
April 22, 2025 at 5:52 AM
The hardest part about reading your emails while you're posting to Bluesky is remembering to yield to pedestrians.
Reposted by Jim Twist
WOW. They grabbed her off the street even while the State Department itself said that she had done nothing wrong.
BREAKING: Days before she was detained by ICE, the State Department had determined Tufts student Rumeysa Ozturk did NOT engage in antisemitic or terrorist activities. Rubio revoked her visa anyhow. Gift article: wapo.st/4j8d5Uh
No evidence linking Tufts student to antisemitism or terrorism, State Dept. office found
An internal memo, prepared before Tufts student Rumeysa Ozturk was detained by ICE, raises doubts about the Trump administration’s claims that she supports Hamas.
wapo.st
April 14, 2025 at 2:26 AM
WOW. They grabbed her off the street even while the State Department itself said that she had done nothing wrong.
I've been known to beat someone with their own game. Because I am both bad at prepositions and a sore loser.
March 9, 2025 at 6:45 AM
I've been known to beat someone with their own game. Because I am both bad at prepositions and a sore loser.
It's getting so you can't swing a dead cat in here without them asking you to leave the animal shelter
March 2, 2025 at 4:24 PM
It's getting so you can't swing a dead cat in here without them asking you to leave the animal shelter
You'll thank me later
February 10, 2025 at 2:12 PM
You'll thank me later
Little did I know after the head injury
February 9, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Little did I know after the head injury
If you run your fingers through my hair, you might find a stay peanut M&M. Win/Win. Just sayin.
February 6, 2025 at 11:26 PM
If you run your fingers through my hair, you might find a stay peanut M&M. Win/Win. Just sayin.
You all said I was crazy to save all these soy sauce packets. How's your post-apocalyptic squirrel? Oh, what's that? NEEDS A LITTLE SALT? That’ll be $599.99, please!
February 5, 2025 at 5:50 PM
You all said I was crazy to save all these soy sauce packets. How's your post-apocalyptic squirrel? Oh, what's that? NEEDS A LITTLE SALT? That’ll be $599.99, please!
I dunno why but my new 'Honk If You're Horny' bumper sticker only works when I slam on the brakes for no good reason
February 4, 2025 at 4:44 AM
I dunno why but my new 'Honk If You're Horny' bumper sticker only works when I slam on the brakes for no good reason
If any of you are still holding on to an old DVD I pass here 3x's a week so I can fling it over the fence, Frisbee-style
February 2, 2025 at 7:24 PM
If any of you are still holding on to an old DVD I pass here 3x's a week so I can fling it over the fence, Frisbee-style
You people complaining about the amount of snow? I just got hit with a dead palm frond on the way to my car, so I know how you feel. Nature can be so cruel.
February 2, 2025 at 7:22 PM
You people complaining about the amount of snow? I just got hit with a dead palm frond on the way to my car, so I know how you feel. Nature can be so cruel.
Reposted by Jim Twist
Read the whole thing.
February 1, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Read the whole thing.
This Grammys marks the 35th anniversary of me not understanding the difference between Record and Album of the Year
February 1, 2025 at 12:31 PM
This Grammys marks the 35th anniversary of me not understanding the difference between Record and Album of the Year
Today, I actually pondered if using coffee as eye drops would make for faster caffeine absorption. I just might be insane. Also, ouch
February 1, 2025 at 5:46 AM
Today, I actually pondered if using coffee as eye drops would make for faster caffeine absorption. I just might be insane. Also, ouch
Reposted by Jim Twist
They're not fooling anyone.
January 31, 2025 at 11:24 AM
They're not fooling anyone.
Belgium is a leading producer of beer, chocolate, and weapons. I picture a country full of very well-armed fat people. Another one, I mean.
January 31, 2025 at 6:06 AM
Belgium is a leading producer of beer, chocolate, and weapons. I picture a country full of very well-armed fat people. Another one, I mean.
Whenever I’m naked and on Oxycontin in an Applebees , I always order the spinach dip because that's the kind of thing I like to do.
January 31, 2025 at 5:59 AM
Whenever I’m naked and on Oxycontin in an Applebees , I always order the spinach dip because that's the kind of thing I like to do.
Reposted by Jim Twist
January 31, 2025 at 12:22 AM
After I die, I want my ashes thrown in the face of everyone I ever knew for not working harder to find a way to keep me alive.
January 31, 2025 at 5:35 AM
After I die, I want my ashes thrown in the face of everyone I ever knew for not working harder to find a way to keep me alive.
Do one simple thing like stick your foot out in the aisle at the grocery store and bitches be trippin’!!
January 29, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Do one simple thing like stick your foot out in the aisle at the grocery store and bitches be trippin’!!
Reposted by Jim Twist
