Psychologically it has not been the best day for romance. Fuck you billy crystal

Things are not going well

Philosophy professor just said that the problem of slavery isn’t actually racism but that every man has a dictator in his nature. I would counter that point by saying that is a dumb and stupid thing to say and also wrong

DayQuil and day old Red Bull breakfast it’s a pirates life for me

Can we all stop pretending that that Michael Cera album is worth anything more than 14 cents

When you remember there’s eggo waffles in the freezer it’s like a lightning strike of revelation

I would never watch tennis purely on the lack of autographable gear available to me. Tennis ball too hairy. Racquet made of air. Ridiculous sport

If it’s clear and yella, you’ve got juice there fella if it’s tangy and brown you’re in cider town