Going to be my whole life. Im still skeptical over how it might still be. But I want to dream. I want to fantasize about the day I actually leave this God forsaken place and can finally, truly relax. Even if im 30 by then, or 40, or 50.

There's not much left in me but fantasies to keep me going.

I hated my sister my whole life cause she always made problems for everyone, but she hated mom, too. Maybe she had a point in it, even if she's still a burden.

Mom made my life a living hell. Maybe not in the worst way possible, but that still felt like torture. And before, I believed this was +

And it's hard. So hard because I depend on her for so much in my life. She made me like this, only to blame me for it. Its hard because I know im supposed to love her. Its hard because part of me still does. I miss when the love we had for each other was innocent and whole. Now it's frayed. Damaged.

On my own out there, even if it's expensive. I dream of not having to listen to mom anymore. I dream of not having to worry whether she's around. I dream of openly talking about the person I am, of being who I am without fearing she will demonize me.

I dream of not being my mom's daughter anymore.

y myix ixu mekbt tyu qdt y xqju jxqj y myix ixu mekbt tyu rusqkiu jxqji co vksaydw cec co vkysaydrw vqcybo qdt ixu sqdj ulud te qdojxydw veh cu ixu sqdj ulud husewdypu ixu'i uluh mhedw y myix ixu't tyu ie y tedj xqlu je tyu ydijuqt

Omg YIPPIEEEEEEEEE