Goodnight gamer clocks
and goodnight gamer socks
Goodnight gamer house
and goodnight gamer mouse.

Goodnight gamer snacks
and goodnight gamer light
Goodnight fireteam
Goodnight firefight
and goodnight to the old lady
whispering “Fortnite.”

Just so y'all know it's really me—provider of occasional chicken content.

Webs are shooting
from my wrists
At evil Doctor Octopus
They tie him to a lamppost as I swing
across the spider-verse
Spider-Ham and Paste-Pot Pete
are helping out and screwing up
Exhausting and provoking me
Jai guru deva, om

I wouldn't believe me either but my cat just very politely and very correctly pissed in the toilet. Nobody taught him this

I like my men how I like my noise…white or brown or pink or box fan.