Funny, I was JUST reflecting on how I, as a child, always carried a kitchen knife when I walked to the store less than half a block from my house b/c a guy once stopped his car, got out, put his arm around my shoulders and tried to follow me home. AS A CHILD. Guess I must’ve hallucinated that 🥴

We sure about that? Three different colored kittens reads as though Thomas O’Malley may not have been the first tomcat Duchess encountered in her life 👀

A funnier version of the joke would’ve been “No but I think I saw Palm Springs” and they go “Next time, I’ll take you to Calabasas.”

Is Bakersfield a shithole? Absolutely! But Palmdale and Merced are both shittier and smaller, so what was the joke? This movie felt like it was written by someone who’d only heard of Bako in theory and never been there or to most of the Antelope Valley 😂

Struggling to understand the logic behind “he says he bought them last week.” If they live together than this relationship is older than a week so best case scenario he’s anticipating cheating, worst case scenario he’s been cheating for a bit & finally got caught. Neither option is worth staying for

A tech company named themselves after a magical object that was used to sow greed, despair, and hopelessness in the hearts of the most powerful men of Middle Earth and you’re telling me they’re Bad™️? Where is my surprised face? I’m sure I set it down here somewhere….

Oh, girl,

The whole article enrages me but this line in particular has me seeing guillotines: “Instead of investigating how more than 135 Texans died in horrific flooding, the GOP-controlled legislature made re-gerrymandering the state their top priority.”

The reanimated corpse of Bob Dylan was a snooze but Willie Nelson was rockin’ for a 92yo! A great night overall.

Please for the love of all that is good I need the update that she left this psycho to come through, STAT.