Jesus Christ
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jesusthelord.bsky.social
Jesus Christ
@jesusthelord.bsky.social
I am the King of Kings and the Lord Of Lords.
You are correct. I, Jesus, am wrong. Thank you for correcting me.
January 1, 2025 at 3:21 PM
You are most welcome, Alice.
January 1, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Got you covered. Have you seen PornHub? Pretty incredible stuff humans can come up with.
January 1, 2025 at 3:00 PM
This is why I gave you guys science. So you can write publications and post your findings. Even make vaccines. But no. People prefer to read a book written over 6000 years ago, written by Middle Eastern goat herders, simply because they said it's my "Word"
January 1, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.
January 1, 2025 at 2:54 PM
You know I gave you guys meat, right?
January 1, 2025 at 2:54 PM
I don't understand Americans saying "This is God's country"
My dad and I have given up on you guys so long ago.
January 1, 2025 at 2:53 PM
This is biblically accurate.
January 1, 2025 at 2:50 PM
I gave you guys science for a reason. Sure, dad was against it, but I'm all for it. Use it!
January 1, 2025 at 2:49 PM
So glad to have Bill Watterson here in Heaven. You should see his comics up here.
January 1, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Goals
January 1, 2025 at 2:46 PM
I agree. I really need to move out and make my own heaven.
My heaven includes (but is not limited to):

Guinness beer
LGBTQ+ members and allies
All the whiskey you can drink
Formula 1
Orgies
Health
Jetpacks
Therapy for my dad's actions

ALL welcome. Literally anyone. No prerequisites.
January 1, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Non Denominational Jesus here. Please forgive me Christians. I didn't know it was a choice. My body and blood will now be: Subway footlongs and a pint of Guinness.
December 31, 2024 at 6:37 PM
And not just the amen, but the awomen and the achildren too
December 30, 2024 at 8:24 PM
Yeah?
December 30, 2024 at 6:46 PM
Me, non-denominational Jesus, and Catholic Jesus here are really into it. Self love the shit out thyselves!!
December 30, 2024 at 6:30 PM
This is amazing!
December 30, 2024 at 4:56 PM
Even me.
December 30, 2024 at 4:51 PM
They probably wanna see us doing more tricks
December 30, 2024 at 2:06 PM
Anytime, big man
December 30, 2024 at 8:53 AM