We could have made electric cars produce any sound we liked when they’re backing up.

The fact that we chose to have them sound like an angel straining on the toilet is the most damning indictment of humanity imaginable.

I find myself wishing, for no particular reason, that I was the kind of person who took more pleasure in saying I told you so.

The problem with having family photos at work is that they fill me with a powerful desire to be hugged.

God, grant me the grace to realize when I’m having a manic episode.

There is so much bad CGI in this year’s Super Bowl ads. Every commercial break is a trip to the uncanny valley.

The Book of Genesis is wild. Everyone is constantly trying to trick each other in the weirdest possible ways — even the people God likes. What are we supposed to take away from that?

It might be the biggest theme in one of the world’s foundational texts and no one ever talks about it.

It doesn’t matter how many you start out with — they’re all two-piece puzzles eventually.

Gotta caffeinate before I waffle-ate