Jesse Fernandez
jessefernandez.bsky.social
Jesse Fernandez
@jessefernandez.bsky.social
Be in bed by 10pm.
Twinsies!
November 5, 2025 at 5:14 AM
I will always regret not buying this sexy Jean-Luc Picard painting.
October 27, 2025 at 4:12 AM
I take beautiful dog head shots.
September 16, 2025 at 1:56 PM
BBQ Lays Marketing Department: Uhh... a terrifying LSD trip into a flavor nightmare?

CEO: high five me so hard right this damn second
August 21, 2025 at 5:50 PM
This MMA move looks exactly like cooked poultry.
August 5, 2025 at 4:56 PM
It’s amazing how consistently abstract art is able to walk that razor-thin line of being confusing and boring at the same time.
July 31, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Art is meant to stretch the limits of imagination. This piece invites the viewer to wonder, “How the fuck did this get included in the art museum?”
July 31, 2025 at 7:03 AM
Me: Who’s a good boy?

Car owner: There hasn’t been a good boy here in 40 YEARS.
July 3, 2025 at 2:50 AM
"Am I doing 'ok?' I'm twice as good baby, I'm in the
June 27, 2025 at 7:08 PM
There should be no speed limit on this road.
June 27, 2025 at 2:48 AM
I'm cool in the same way that this is a fork.
June 24, 2025 at 7:28 PM
You’re not a businessman just because you made an app. You’re a businessman if you keep a luchador mask shop open for 10 years like my neighbor.
June 24, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Bathroom graffiti in Berkeley different.
June 23, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Look at this asshole stealing valor
June 22, 2025 at 12:41 AM
Owl faces kinda look like pig noses if u turn the pig nose over & squint & got really good mushrooms from a guy this mornig
June 11, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Me after flossing
June 8, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Possums are low-level demons.
June 1, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Everybody's got their own cause.
May 29, 2025 at 4:57 AM
Pardon my bragging, but this was me at age 13.
May 13, 2025 at 3:38 PM
I'm not turning Drivers in until they tell me what he did.
April 22, 2025 at 6:12 PM
My sister got my dad the worst tennis racket for Xmas, it won't even work & he likes fishing, not tennis lol so dumb! I got him a PS5.
April 20, 2025 at 5:12 AM
You'd be a jerk too if your entire species didn't have buttholes.
April 19, 2025 at 4:57 AM
I once accidentally, very lightly, grazed Gary Busey's face with a bag of Funyons, causing him to become enraged and cancel a commercial shoot.
April 17, 2025 at 2:10 AM
When you’re in a bathroom stall and hear someone skip the sink and go straight to the hand dryer.
April 10, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Seahorses are like little swimming fairytale fonts.
April 6, 2025 at 6:37 PM