If he just apologized, I would be fine. But he’s a coward and can’t admit his errors. He doesn’t need to apologize for essentially calling me fat, but he needs to apologize for being cruel. Because it was cruel.

Luckily, I’ve always been fat, so I’m used to it, and I can take it. I’m just annoyed.

So yeah, that’s my story. I have a feeling I’ll think about this for a really long time. I’m not as angry as I was when it happened, but I’d be lying if I said I was okay with it. It was just so shocking to hear that from someone I’ve talked with for several years.

Let’s just stop commenting on people’s bodies, okay?

I go to the doctor yearly. I get sick with a cold like once a year. That’s it. I’m really healthy overall, I’m just fat. I shouldn’t have to feel lesser than just because I’m not the ideal weight, whatever the hell that even means.

All this to say, I’ve got my issues with being the other daughter. It’s something I’ve always been working on. But being call the fat one? Yikes…

I would much prefer to be the “other” daughter than the fat one.

After a bit of time, we went to see my sister. I explained what happened, and she was very angry. She already didn’t like the guy, but this made it worse, I think.

I also have to say that I wish he’d just straight up called me fat. I think I would have had an easier time with it. But he said it to my dad and not me like a coward. He couldn’t even look at me.

By saying that my sister is the skinny one, he was saying I was the fat one.

To be very clear, I know that I’m fat. I’m under no illusion that I’m fat. But to hear someone say it so bluntly in that way was a shock to my system.

My dad immediately got angry. And this man started making excuses “oh that’s what I call her…”

Dude. Just stop.

My dad essentially ordered him away from our table. He wouldn’t look at me, and sheepishly walked away. He didn’t bother us again after that.

But this motherfucker… “oh, she’s the skinny one!” Referring to my sister.

This time around, my dad was talking to him about my sister, and for the first time ever, my dad said “our other daughter” and was referring to my sister. I was living my best life. That’s a first for me, and it was kind of nice to not be the other one for once.

Last weekend I was at the bar with my parents. This isn’t an unusual for us.

There’s one dude my dad knows who is there literally daily, and he almost always comes up to talk to us in a drunken slur.

I used to think of him as the funny drunk dude and considered him part of the bar experience.

All this saying that I’m always the other one. I know that no one means anything by it, but it does make me feel really small and lesser than. To be clear, this is my problem, not anyone else’s problem. I deal with it and try not to get stuck on it.

Examples:

My sister cantors at church. Sometimes, I fill in for her. One of the first times I did, my mom got a comment, “I didn’t know your other daughter could sing, too!”

I’ll be out and about with my parents, and we’ll run into someone, and my parents will say, “this is our other daughter.”

So basically, moral of the story, a question about depression and anxiety gave me anxiety because I wanted to over explain that it’s all good, which makes me sound like I’m not all good. 🫣😂

Am I the only person that gets uncomfy in these situations? How do I explain that there’s no need to worry without sounding like there’s need to worry?

Like, ma’am, I’m fine. I’m not fine, I’m never fine, but it’s allllll fine. I know how to manage. I’m not a danger to myself or anyone else. My brain is just wrong.

She looked at me, very concerned, and said something like, “if you feel it today, you should mark it down.” So I did. And I saw her watching me as if I was about to have a mental breakdown.

So there was this checklist I had to fill out regarding “how I feel today,” and one of the questions was about depression and anxiety. I asked the nurse a clarifying question, “I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life. It’s always there. What should I put here?”