Politics? That’s just life’s drunk uncle, showing up uninvited, shouting nonsense, and somehow still getting everyone’s attention.

An existential crisis is like realizing you're suddenly backstage about to go and do the lead in a play. You don't know your lines, your costars are spiders and the audience left several hours ago.

Intermittent fasting is just skipping breakfast and pretending it’s a lifestyle. By lunch, you're either deeply enlightened or aggressively hunting a croissant.

Watching someone play COD is strangely, perversely relaxing. It’s like you’re the overseer god of some war that will never happen. Your brain just goes, ah yes, this carnage is fine, it’s not real, carry on. You sip your gin leisurely.

Drinking gin is like reading the footnotes of your own bad decisions—simultaneously illuminating and debilitating. It’s botanical gaslighting: "Oh, it’s floral and crisp,"you think, while it quietly dismantles your capacity to be a person. But hey, it smells of juniper

Being an adult is just walking around, mildly furious, holding a cup of tea, and thinking, "I should really be doing something"

Insomnia is just night’s way of handing you a megaphone and saying, "Here, shout every regret you’ve ever had at your ceiling until the sun shows up and rescues you."

New diet idea: eat too much and then cry in front of fridge until death.

Pizza is pure joy—a bubbling, golden reminder that something so unnecessary has no business tasting this good while being so bad for you

Sleep is just your brain throwing a weird party you’re not invited to. One minute you're out cold, the next you're arguing with a penguin about taxes.

Imagine if everywhere you went was as chill and friendly as bluesky?

Everyone loves an open-minded person—until they start opening it right at you, like, "have you considered kombucha as a spiritual guide?"

Turning 30 is realizing you’re an adult-shaped imposter. Decades collecting opinions like bottle caps, but none of them open anything. So you get asked to explain something about love, death or taxes. You don't really have a clue. So You nod, stroke your imaginary beard, and say, "ah yes, entropy"

Politics, is like watching circus clowns argue over who gets to drive the flaming unicycle into the abyss—1 promises a more inclusive abyss, the other insists the abyss was better when our grandparents fell into it. Meanwhile, you're paying for the unicycle, the flames, and the expensive popcorn

"We want the finest wines available to humanity, and we want them here and we want them now."

Name the film quote.

Ever get a mild illness and vow to never take for granted being healthy? Only to completely forget this vow a few days later?

Didn't realise how toxic "the other website that shall not be named" got until coming here and feeling so much more peaceful scrolling. Wow!