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Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

I WIELD THE POWER COSMIC!

Just cleared Silver Surfer for NES! Awesome game, awesome music. Negative reviewers are just salty because they suck at shmups. If you can clear Gradius III, I promise you can clear this. And you should!

76/100, strongly recommended.
#NES #SoftwareCreations #retrogaming

Section 2 of Fire Lord's stage in Silver Surfer, a horizontal area. Skulls and lava and flaming pumpkins!

Stage 6 of Silver Surfer, the Magik Domain (Magick Realm). Weirdly, the end boss looks like Mr. Sinister from X-Men. But check out that background! Grim faces and gibbering mouths. Not pictured: eyeballs flying around. METAL!

My detailed review of Silver Surfer for NES. 24/30 for graphics and sound, 12/20 for surprisingly good storytelling, and 40/50 for gameplay. 76/100 total, recommended even if you aren't normally a fan, but an absolute must-buy if you like shmups or Silver-Age Marvel.

Screen from the ending slide show of Silver Surfer. Galactus says, "Your quest is at an end, surfer. The forces of Magik have been defeated. Now, the device is MINE!!"
And of course Surfer refuses to give it to him in the next scene. Love our petulant, planet-eating toddler.

December 8, 2025 at 3:04 PM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Not taking advice from a man who sits like a pretzel that sells cars.

Gavin Newsom sitting like a pretzel that sells cars

December 7, 2025 at 7:19 AM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Just cleared The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker HD on the Wii U! This is absolutely the best way to play this classic game. Fiddling with maps and changing items with the gamepad feels amazing. 87/100, a wonderful classic with just a few flaws.
#RetroGaming #WiiU #Nintendo

Link in a cutscene near the end. I love how expressive the characters' faces are, even outside of cutscenes.

Ganondorf with the Master Sword stick into his head. METAL

The item menu on the gamepad. Dragging stuff around is easy and fun, and keeps you more engaged with the action, rather than having to pause all the time. Of course you can still pause and rearrange if you need to.

My detailed review of Wind Waker HD. 23/30 for design, losing points mainly for not including an instruction manual. 18/20 storytelling, the world could use just a bit more lore, and one endgame plot point rubbed me the wrong way. 46/50 for gameplay, almost perfect, but the end game portions don't deliver, and it's quite easy.

December 6, 2025 at 3:27 AM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

The Final Fantasy IX exhibition in Ginza was fun. They got most of the bigwigs on the project to write a few paragraphs about it. Sakaguchi-san's message at the end was really lovely.

Sakaguchi-san's message about FFIX. Short summary: Eiko is named after his daughter, which shows how close this game is to his heart. With the theme of returning to FF's roots, this game felt like a dream looking at it from the perspective of FF1. He's proud of making a game that leaves you with a warm feeling after defeating the final boss. He says many people still love IX, and hopes the series will continue to leave those kinds of impressions.

December 6, 2025 at 3:16 AM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Behold! A version of Demon's Crest that doesn't suck:

The box for Capcom's flawless platformer, Demon's Crest

December 2, 2025 at 10:30 AM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Comic book panel. Sound effect of HONK, man says "Coming!"

November 17, 2025 at 8:40 AM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Our daughter loved this one. She was so happy to learn about peepee!

Cover of Urology For Kids by Betty Nguyen, Brandon Pham, and Roland Palvolgyi

November 11, 2025 at 8:59 AM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

I cleared Sonic 3D Blast, a.k.a Flickies' Island! Graphics and music are nice, and the gameplay is pretty good, despite the slippery controls. 61/100, check it out if you like isometric platformers and/or Sonic.
#sega #saturn #retrogaming

A typical action scene from Sonic 3D Blast. Very colorful.

The Saturn exclusive auto-run minigame. I like these.

Ending screen with Sonic pointing up at the sky, indicating the location of our Lord Jesus Christ (Sonic is a roman catholic)

My detailed review of Sonic 3D Blast. 21/30 for graphics, sound and packaging, 6/20 for a nearly non-existent story, and 34/50 for gameplay. Total of 61/100, recommended if you like Sonic or isometric platformers.

November 11, 2025 at 2:29 AM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Just cleared Metroid: Samus Returns for the 3DS! It's a lot of fun, with great abilities and exploration, but the boss battles get a bit tedious. Dual-screen systems with a constant map are perfect for the genre.
#gamereview #metroidvania #3ds

Samus faces off against a metamorphosed metroid, one of many, MANY mini-bosses in the game.

Late game shot of Samus with her little metroid buddy.

Ending screen shot of Samus flying away from SR3388.

My detailed review of Metroid: Samus Returns. Good marks for design and gameplay, middling marks for storytelling. Overall 67/100, recommended for anyone who likes metroidvanias.

November 9, 2025 at 7:01 AM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Don't try to gaslight me, I know a twunk when I see one

Image of the volleyball team "Tokyo Great Bears," not one of whom is a bear

November 6, 2025 at 10:17 PM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Another game cleared for Spooktober! Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas: The Pumpkin King for Game Boy Advance. Definitely not the best game I've played this October, but not a bad game. 45/100, get it cheap if it interests you.
#retrogaming #halloween #gba

The iconic curly-cue hill scene from The Nightmare Before Christmas, recreated on the Game Boy Advance.

Gameplay scene from The Nightmare Before Christmas: The Pumpkin King. Jack Skellington dangles from a platform, while his trusty ghost dog Zero hovers nearby.

Ending crowd shot from The Nightmare Before Christmas: The Pumpkin King. These splash screens are nicely done.

My detailed review of The Nightmare Before Christmas: The Pumpkin King for Game Boy Advance. Slightly below average on pretty much all points: design, storytelling, and gameplay. A total of 45/100, not recommended. Only pick it up if you can find it cheap and you absolutely love Metroidvanias and Nightmare Before Christmas.

October 27, 2025 at 1:47 PM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Another one down for The Month of Spookies. Ghostbusters for the Mega Drive is a solid little platformer that you can clear in a couple of hours. 66/100, fun if you like the genre.
#retrogaming #megadrive #sega

16-bit Dan Aykroyd faces off against shambling undeath in this screenshot from Ghostbusters (1990).

Bill Murray's hairline is gravely insulted in this text dialogue scene from Ghostbusters (1990).

A newspaper depicts Academy Award nominee Dan Aykroyd giving the peace sign while holding up a steaming ghost chatcher in this screenshot from Ghostbusters (1990).

My detailed review of Ghostbusters (1990). High points for design and gameplay, but the attempts at storytelling through text scrolls really just get in the way of a fun game. 66/100, recommended for fans of run & gun games like Mega Man, Contra, and Turrican.

October 19, 2025 at 7:49 AM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Just cleared Splatterhouse for PC Engine! Another one down for Spooktober.
#retrogaming #pcengine

Title screen for Splatterhouse on PC Engine

Main character Rick from Splatterhouse punching the final boss, a giant melty head.

The infamous inverted cross boss, which was censored in the western release.

My detailed review of Splatterhouse. Mediocre scores for graphics and sound as well as for storytelling, but high marks for gameplay. A total of 66/100: recommended for fans of horror and beat 'em ups.

October 14, 2025 at 7:17 AM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Another game cleared for Spooktober: Luigi's Mansion for 3DS! It's not a bad game, but it wasn't for me. Very, very easy, to the point of being kind of boring. This port feels like it's really hampered by the tough controls with the C-stick.

#retrogaming #3DS

An image of Luigi sucking up a ghost with a vacuum cleaner.

Dialogue from Luigi's Mansion for 3DS, featuring a french artist saying, "You filthy swine! You're blind to zee life I give my creations!"

Ending screen from Luigi's Mansion. Apparently I did not get a very good ending.

My detailed review of Luigi's Mansion. Medium points all around for graphics and sound, storytelling, and gameplay. 57/100, a mild recommendation for Luigi fans or kids who like ghosts.

October 10, 2025 at 2:19 PM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Cleared my second game of Spooktober: Super Ghouls n' Ghosts/超魔界村. What a game! Very few games give you such pure satisfaction of mastery. You really earn those ending credits.

#retrogaming #capcom #snes #魔界村

A Super Famicom system with Chou Makaimura in it.

A screenshot of the ending to Chou Makaimura. Arthur and Princess Prin Prin are riding a white horse, while the words "Presented by Capcom" float overhead.

My detailed review of Super Ghouls n' Ghosts. I score it a 23/30 for graphics and sound, 9/20 for storytelling, and 45/50 for gameplay, for a total score of 77/100 (very high by my standards).

October 8, 2025 at 1:12 PM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

An Horchata, a Modelo and Luigi's Mansion
(Bingo Tacos in Nezu, best tacos in Tokyo)

A glass of horchata, a bottle of Modelo, and a 3DS

October 2, 2025 at 11:01 AM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Got a head start on Spooktober and cleared Avenging Spirit for Game Boy. It's a nice little platformer with an original twist: you're a ghost who can possess every enemy (except for bosses). Recommended!

Instruction manual telling the story of Phantasm (Avenging Spirit). In short, you were out walking with your girlfriend, when some goons kidnapped her and killed you. Her dad researches Ghost Energy, though, so he brought your spirit back to try to save her.

Action scene from Phantasm/Avenging Spirit for Game Boy, played on a Game Boy Advance SP. The player, a ghost, floats above two enemies.

Good ending cutscene from Avenging Spirit. The girlfriend is saved, and now the ghost boyfriend can go off to his eternal reward.

My detailed review of Avenging Spirit. High marks for game play and graphics. A total of 75/100, which is on the high side for me (51 or higher is a recommendation). A must-buy for fans of 2D action platformers.

September 27, 2025 at 2:42 PM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

September 22, 2025 at 1:07 AM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

The cover of Earth, Wind & Fire's "All N All" album, photoshopped to depict singer Maurice White's head rising up behind cliff, with the word "SOON" drawn above

September 19, 2025 at 12:29 PM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Just cleared Bomberman Hero! It's a nice game. Lots of variety, and has that charming sort of roughness that N64 3D platformers have. One of the most unique soundtracks of any game.
#retrogaming #n64 #bomberman

Japanese instruction manual for Bomberman Hero

A platforming level in Bomberman Hero. He jumps! The walls are made of purple flesh! The soundtrack is drum and bass! Why? It's fine.

A rail shooter level -- kind of. The underwater ones allow you to move forward and back at your own pace, so it's like a very chilled out rail shooter. Lots of variety in this little cart.

My detailed review of Bomberman Hero. Anything above a 50 is a recommendation, so consider this 63 a mild thumbs up. If you already have an N64, and you find a copy for not too much money, and you like the genre, then you probably won't regret the purchase.

Graphics 6/10
Package & Manual 4/5
Sound Effects 3/5
Music 8/10
Worldbuilding 2/5
Plot 2/5
Writing 3/10
Controls 4/5
Innovation 3/5
Difficulty 2/5
Game Length 5/5
Performance 3/5
Level Design 8/10
Enemy Design 2/5
Fun 8/10
Total 63/100

September 7, 2025 at 2:59 PM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

Finally cleared Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. What a slog. I bought it on release day for PC, and just now got around to finishing it. They made the story totally incoherent for anyone who hasn't played OG + Crisis Core, and not much better if you have. Not recommended.

Opening menu screen for Final Fantasy VII Rebirth

Shot of Tifa from a late-game cinematic in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth

Full party portrait, Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. Vincent and Cid are notably not playable.

My full review of Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. I give it high points for graphics and voice acting, middling storytelling, and overall quite poor gameplay. 44/100, with 51 being my minimum threshold for "recommended."

September 6, 2025 at 2:24 PM

Hella Tellah

@jefumu-a.bsky.social

I cleared 悪魔城ドラキュラ奪われた刻印 (Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia)! Great story, gorgeous sprite work, and a nice mix of classic, linear 'Vania and exploration-focused Metroidvania gameplay.