Jeff Steck
@jefstec.bsky.social
Patents for a brighter dystopia
📍Chicago
📍Chicago
Elf on a Shelf, but with shoes.
US Patent 11986748
US Patent 11986748
December 24, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Elf on a Shelf, but with shoes.
US Patent 11986748
US Patent 11986748
The outtakes from Emmet Otter go hard
December 19, 2025 at 11:50 PM
The outtakes from Emmet Otter go hard
"Reusable toilet paper system"
US Patent 12274399
US Patent 12274399
December 19, 2025 at 2:34 PM
"Reusable toilet paper system"
US Patent 12274399
US Patent 12274399
Turn old artificial Christmas trees into underwater reefs.
US Patent 12495775, issued today
US Patent 12495775, issued today
December 16, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Turn old artificial Christmas trees into underwater reefs.
US Patent 12495775, issued today
US Patent 12495775, issued today
"Pillow Assembly," patented this week.
US 12490848
US 12490848
December 12, 2025 at 2:47 PM
"Pillow Assembly," patented this week.
US 12490848
US 12490848
A system for suspending your laptop overhead. Patented yesterday.
US 12490828
US 12490828
December 10, 2025 at 11:06 PM
A system for suspending your laptop overhead. Patented yesterday.
US 12490828
US 12490828
A virtual reality system that simulates vaping at sea.
US Patent 11284646
US Patent 11284646
December 5, 2025 at 11:47 PM
A virtual reality system that simulates vaping at sea.
US Patent 11284646
US Patent 11284646
Hoodie with integrated popcorn bucket, patented this week.
US 12484689
US 12484689
December 5, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Hoodie with integrated popcorn bucket, patented this week.
US 12484689
US 12484689
An interactive facemask that changes from a smile to a frown when people get too close.
US Patent 12484643
US Patent 12484643
December 3, 2025 at 7:25 PM
An interactive facemask that changes from a smile to a frown when people get too close.
US Patent 12484643
US Patent 12484643
A mirror to detect whether you have an asymmetrical face that demonstrates "criminal tendencies."
US Patent 1779655
US Patent 1779655
December 1, 2025 at 2:48 PM
A mirror to detect whether you have an asymmetrical face that demonstrates "criminal tendencies."
US Patent 1779655
US Patent 1779655
Chicago billboard (2022)
November 29, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Chicago billboard (2022)
"Bird Stand"
US Patent 12245583
US Patent 12245583
November 27, 2025 at 2:28 PM
"Bird Stand"
US Patent 12245583
US Patent 12245583
Relatedly, I've observed that patent drawings of boats tend to be much better than the average (low) quality of patent drawings.
November 24, 2025 at 5:03 PM
Relatedly, I've observed that patent drawings of boats tend to be much better than the average (low) quality of patent drawings.
A head support for surgeons.
US Patent 12440303
US Patent 12440303
November 24, 2025 at 2:21 PM
A head support for surgeons.
US Patent 12440303
US Patent 12440303
Chicago sunset tonight
November 22, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Chicago sunset tonight
Garment top with permanently attached suspenders, patented this week.
US 12471653
US 12471653
November 21, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Garment top with permanently attached suspenders, patented this week.
US 12471653
US 12471653
In the words of Borges, the idiosyncratic bestiary in this patent application "exerts chaos"
(US20210137137)
(US20210137137)
November 6, 2025 at 6:04 PM
In the words of Borges, the idiosyncratic bestiary in this patent application "exerts chaos"
(US20210137137)
(US20210137137)
A blanket that converts into a cape.
US Patent 9155341 (issued to "Super Blanky LLC")
US Patent 9155341 (issued to "Super Blanky LLC")
October 31, 2025 at 1:40 PM
A blanket that converts into a cape.
US Patent 9155341 (issued to "Super Blanky LLC")
US Patent 9155341 (issued to "Super Blanky LLC")
I think this one guy is the market for it.
October 24, 2025 at 8:34 PM
I think this one guy is the market for it.
A baseball cap with a magnetic logo so you can quickly swap out your allegiance.
US Patent 12262771
US Patent 12262771
October 24, 2025 at 6:50 PM
A baseball cap with a magnetic logo so you can quickly swap out your allegiance.
US Patent 12262771
US Patent 12262771
To this day (literally, see image) people are still trying to perfect the non-pneumatic tire, and they have filed around 8000 patent applications. The fact that we mostly still use regular air-filled tires shows what a great invention they are.
October 23, 2025 at 8:40 PM
To this day (literally, see image) people are still trying to perfect the non-pneumatic tire, and they have filed around 8000 patent applications. The fact that we mostly still use regular air-filled tires shows what a great invention they are.
One of our old favorites, the swimming pool filled with plastic sprinkles (US 10513862), was originally rejected as obvious in view of a sandbox.
October 22, 2025 at 3:56 PM
One of our old favorites, the swimming pool filled with plastic sprinkles (US 10513862), was originally rejected as obvious in view of a sandbox.
A punching bag that's also a mirror.
US Patent 12440743
US Patent 12440743
October 17, 2025 at 2:05 PM
A punching bag that's also a mirror.
US Patent 12440743
US Patent 12440743