can’t you see that we are intertwined

I’m dating a Gen Xer so I know I’m about to be wearing a pair of 2025 glasses tonight…

I asked a girl on a dating site who her queer crush was and she said “look in the mirror” and I was going to say “Jane Wickline from SNL” but that seemed really ill-advised so I didn’t mention mine

Every guy on Hinge thinks birds aren’t real

God, this day has been so stupid that only Taco Bell has a shot at fixing it

I know a cheap ass lip mask hates to see me coming

There’s a baby shower at the office this week and the theme is “She’s Going to Pop” with popcorn-themed decorations and if my pregnant ass walked into a party and everyone was like “damn, you look like you’re about to blow” I would be contacting HR IMMEDIATELY. After I finished crying hysterically

Can I get a starter pack for people who talk about the Real Housewives franchises? I am so sorry to be frivolous at a time like this.

I just want to study history, not live it.

I just realized I am going to have to go through this Presidency and pre-menopause at the same time. Imagine trying to ashwagandha your way out of this one. Positive thought your way through the fall of democracy