Instead of rushing in upset over general statements about whiteness, try to examine those feelings, why you have them, what her words trigger, why you feel so defensive. Try saying nothing and sit with those feelings. Imagine centuries of not being able to confront generalizations about your race.

No, many non white people are not racist bc racism is backed by institutional power. Jobs. Banks. Housing. Policing. Education. Healthcare. Voting. Non whites can be prejudiced but there are no mechanisms in America for non whites to express racism, which always relates to the power to discriminate

Because all our institutions favor white Americans, all culture celebrates and centers whiteness, we can never truly escape our racism. That is the way WE are chained in a social construct obsessed with race. The first step is admitting we have a problem.

Wrap your mind around the fact that this country was founded in racist policies, steeped in racism, thriving on racism, the very air we breathe is racist. All white Americans are raised in that air ergo we are all raised racist. We must do the work to deprogram but it will never totally be undone.