Joey Martell
@jdrexmo.bsky.social
But existing is basically all I do!
He/him.
Comedian, writer, musician, gamer, secret dog.
He/him.
Comedian, writer, musician, gamer, secret dog.
Pinned
When you go speed dating, do you have to bring your own speed or do they have a bunch there for everyone?
October 29, 2025 at 8:08 PM
When you go speed dating, do you have to bring your own speed or do they have a bunch there for everyone?
An optometry practice called What Do Eyecare.
September 8, 2025 at 6:51 PM
An optometry practice called What Do Eyecare.
Scary Muenster (and Super Crepes)
June 7, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Scary Muenster (and Super Crepes)
Me: Let me just take a gander.
Owner of the Goose Farm: No.
Owner of the Goose Farm: No.
June 3, 2025 at 11:12 AM
Me: Let me just take a gander.
Owner of the Goose Farm: No.
Owner of the Goose Farm: No.
@rob-sheridan.com Just noticed the other day that the text on my Plain Black T-shirt shirt was fading and it was becoming an actual plain black t-shirt. Which I can never have enough of, but now that the limited edition is back in stock, I just might need a (figuratively) shiny new one.
May 22, 2025 at 2:42 PM
@rob-sheridan.com Just noticed the other day that the text on my Plain Black T-shirt shirt was fading and it was becoming an actual plain black t-shirt. Which I can never have enough of, but now that the limited edition is back in stock, I just might need a (figuratively) shiny new one.
I'm starting an OSHA compliant industrial band.
April 15, 2025 at 11:49 PM
I'm starting an OSHA compliant industrial band.
Make Birdo Trans Again
January 29, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Make Birdo Trans Again
If you kill a bird in the hand with one stone, you transitively kill two birds with one stone. That's one real bird and two imaginary birds, or 1+2i complex birds.
January 22, 2025 at 3:41 PM
If you kill a bird in the hand with one stone, you transitively kill two birds with one stone. That's one real bird and two imaginary birds, or 1+2i complex birds.
The innocent and the beautiful have no enemy but time and Galactus, the Devourer of Worlds.
December 23, 2024 at 7:14 PM
The innocent and the beautiful have no enemy but time and Galactus, the Devourer of Worlds.
Flash Gordon? I hardly know Gordon!
December 9, 2024 at 8:21 PM
Flash Gordon? I hardly know Gordon!
Crab rangoon? How crab use phone?
December 4, 2024 at 9:44 PM
Crab rangoon? How crab use phone?
A parliament of owls. A funkadelic of bears. A parliament-funkadelic of owlbears (a.k.a. a p-funk of o-bears).
October 21, 2023 at 4:45 PM
A parliament of owls. A funkadelic of bears. A parliament-funkadelic of owlbears (a.k.a. a p-funk of o-bears).
A reverse mortgage should be when the bank gives you a house because you don't take enough money from them.
October 11, 2023 at 12:44 PM
A reverse mortgage should be when the bank gives you a house because you don't take enough money from them.
Do diabetic vampires have to check their victims' blood sugar before they can drink from them?
September 19, 2023 at 6:55 PM
Do diabetic vampires have to check their victims' blood sugar before they can drink from them?
@neilhimself.neilgaiman.com I just want you to know that your activity is some 90% of my Bluesky feed, and it always reminds me of this old gem.
September 1, 2023 at 8:57 PM
@neilhimself.neilgaiman.com I just want you to know that your activity is some 90% of my Bluesky feed, and it always reminds me of this old gem.
I have a lot of irons in the fire, but also the fire frequently goes out for weeks at a time and I'm just weeping in the smithy with my head in my hands.
September 1, 2023 at 8:24 PM
I have a lot of irons in the fire, but also the fire frequently goes out for weeks at a time and I'm just weeping in the smithy with my head in my hands.
So-called alpha males using "simp" as an insult is like the pants-shitting club going, "Get a load of Shitless Pants over here."
August 29, 2023 at 1:27 PM
So-called alpha males using "simp" as an insult is like the pants-shitting club going, "Get a load of Shitless Pants over here."
"Live your life with no regrets" is vastly different advice depending on what potentially regrettable things you're doing. "Be a psychopath" would make a great cross-stitch, though.
August 23, 2023 at 1:14 AM
"Live your life with no regrets" is vastly different advice depending on what potentially regrettable things you're doing. "Be a psychopath" would make a great cross-stitch, though.
A guy at work said, "A picture's worth a million words." Inflation is getting ridiculous.
July 31, 2023 at 2:15 PM
A guy at work said, "A picture's worth a million words." Inflation is getting ridiculous.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song but it never stops going "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" with ever rising pitch and intensity.
July 25, 2023 at 12:24 AM
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song but it never stops going "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" with ever rising pitch and intensity.