JD Frain
@jdfrain.bsky.social
Just moved in. Former resident of Twitter Blvd. Please, no welcome casseroles, but I'm happy to talk books and writing.
Frain’s wife blocks the TV. He hits the mute button, but she #speaks anyway. “Thought we’d shake things up in the bedroom Saturday.” A come-hither wink.
He nods like a bobblehead. "Yeah, yeah."
“Good," she says. "You clean the sheets and vacuum. I’ll watch a 5-hour football game.”
#vss365
He nods like a bobblehead. "Yeah, yeah."
“Good," she says. "You clean the sheets and vacuum. I’ll watch a 5-hour football game.”
#vss365
November 22, 2025 at 11:59 PM
He learned the hard way. Again. His slow #action caused his headache.
“What’s on the telly?” Frain’s wife asked.
“A layer of dust,” he said.
She stepped into the den, offered their Dust Buster. “Perhaps you could use this.”
“That thing? It sucks,” he said.
He didn’t duck fast enough.
#vss365
“What’s on the telly?” Frain’s wife asked.
“A layer of dust,” he said.
She stepped into the den, offered their Dust Buster. “Perhaps you could use this.”
“That thing? It sucks,” he said.
He didn’t duck fast enough.
#vss365
November 20, 2025 at 7:20 PM
A Terrific Read
All thumbs up for Chris Whitaker's ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK.
All thumbs up for Chris Whitaker's ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK.
A Terrific Read
All thumbs up for Chris Whitaker's ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK.
johndavisfrain.com
November 20, 2025 at 4:50 AM
A Terrific Read
All thumbs up for Chris Whitaker's ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK.
All thumbs up for Chris Whitaker's ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK.
She enters the kitchen like a breath of foul air. “Did you unfriend me?”
He cowers. “I tried to enemy you, but that wasn’t one of the #options.”
“I consider that cheating.”
“That’s a high standard.”
“Add resisting arrest.” She pulls out her handcuffs.
He breathes deep. Ah, Wednesday nights.
#vss365
He cowers. “I tried to enemy you, but that wasn’t one of the #options.”
“I consider that cheating.”
“That’s a high standard.”
“Add resisting arrest.” She pulls out her handcuffs.
He breathes deep. Ah, Wednesday nights.
#vss365
November 20, 2025 at 12:48 AM
We fell in love at 20, honeymooned at 25, parented at 30. So close, friends joked they couldn't fit between us.
Now ... the #geography has changed. Your voice is foreign. Your body a world away. Neither of us knows how it started. Where it happened. Or how to reverse it.
#vss365
Now ... the #geography has changed. Your voice is foreign. Your body a world away. Neither of us knows how it started. Where it happened. Or how to reverse it.
#vss365
November 6, 2025 at 4:56 PM
We fell in love at 20, honeymooned at 25, parented at 30. So close, friends joked they couldn't fit between us.
Now ... the #geography has changed. Your voice is foreign. Your body a world away. Neither of us knows how it started. Where it happened. Or how to reverse it.
#vss365
Now ... the #geography has changed. Your voice is foreign. Your body a world away. Neither of us knows how it started. Where it happened. Or how to reverse it.
#vss365
Frain's wife twirled in her #Halloween outfit. His jaw dropped.
"You're dressing up as my therapist?"
"Like it?"
"Creepy," he said. "Also, she doesn't carry a meat cleaver."
"This?" She raised the axe. "It's so I can carve out a problem."
"I thought I was your problem?"
She grinned.
#vss365
"You're dressing up as my therapist?"
"Like it?"
"Creepy," he said. "Also, she doesn't carry a meat cleaver."
"This?" She raised the axe. "It's so I can carve out a problem."
"I thought I was your problem?"
She grinned.
#vss365
November 1, 2025 at 4:47 AM
Frain's wife twirled in her #Halloween outfit. His jaw dropped.
"You're dressing up as my therapist?"
"Like it?"
"Creepy," he said. "Also, she doesn't carry a meat cleaver."
"This?" She raised the axe. "It's so I can carve out a problem."
"I thought I was your problem?"
She grinned.
#vss365
"You're dressing up as my therapist?"
"Like it?"
"Creepy," he said. "Also, she doesn't carry a meat cleaver."
"This?" She raised the axe. "It's so I can carve out a problem."
"I thought I was your problem?"
She grinned.
#vss365
She swipes the cleaver on the whetstone. The blade squeals in delight. Shoots sparks. Time to carve her masterpiece -- a Jack o'lantern.
She barely contains her #energy on her front porch where boyfriend Jack leans back with a beer.
"Hi, pumpkin," she says. And puts the cleaver to work.
#vss365
She barely contains her #energy on her front porch where boyfriend Jack leans back with a beer.
"Hi, pumpkin," she says. And puts the cleaver to work.
#vss365
October 22, 2025 at 5:24 AM
The old woman said to her granddaughter. "Back in my day, before Internets, people had yard sales. Sell off broke toys, old clothes, mismatched cup and #saucer."
"You have a sale, Nana?"
"Sure. How I got rid of grandpa."
"So that’s why Ma won’t let u babysit."
"A 2-for-1 it's called."
#vss365
"You have a sale, Nana?"
"Sure. How I got rid of grandpa."
"So that’s why Ma won’t let u babysit."
"A 2-for-1 it's called."
#vss365
October 21, 2025 at 9:46 AM
7pm. Must-see TV. "Grab the popcorn, kids. Literary Idol is on."
They parked in the TV room. Mom & Dad on the sofa, 3 kids splayed on the floor.
First contestant read a future historical mashup titled #Android of Green Gables.
The fam voted 4-1 for that one. Dad never understood sci-fi.
#vss365
They parked in the TV room. Mom & Dad on the sofa, 3 kids splayed on the floor.
First contestant read a future historical mashup titled #Android of Green Gables.
The fam voted 4-1 for that one. Dad never understood sci-fi.
#vss365
October 18, 2025 at 5:49 AM
An #unearthly quiet, the calm before a storm. Sure enough, Frain's wife enters, shovel in hand. "One tap and you're out like a cold."
"You mean out cold," he corrects.
"No."
"So you mean out like a light," he mansplains.
WHACK!
"Now do you understand?" she asks. But he's out of answers
#vss365
"You mean out cold," he corrects.
"No."
"So you mean out like a light," he mansplains.
WHACK!
"Now do you understand?" she asks. But he's out of answers
#vss365
October 16, 2025 at 9:15 PM
An #unearthly quiet, the calm before a storm. Sure enough, Frain's wife enters, shovel in hand. "One tap and you're out like a cold."
"You mean out cold," he corrects.
"No."
"So you mean out like a light," he mansplains.
WHACK!
"Now do you understand?" she asks. But he's out of answers
#vss365
"You mean out cold," he corrects.
"No."
"So you mean out like a light," he mansplains.
WHACK!
"Now do you understand?" she asks. But he's out of answers
#vss365
Frain's wife makes an over-the-top, #deluxe entrance. "I have news. We made a time travel discovery at work."
"Spill, please."
"If you could look down from heaven and see me now, you'd be so jealous."
"Buuuuut I'd have to be dead to do that."
"You're always stealing my thunder again!"
#vss365
"Spill, please."
"If you could look down from heaven and see me now, you'd be so jealous."
"Buuuuut I'd have to be dead to do that."
"You're always stealing my thunder again!"
#vss365
October 14, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Joey didn't realize they'd changed the menu when he ordered his usual #4.
The bag was heavy through the window.
Before he drove off the parking lot, Joey saw the bag move. #Ashes drifted out the top. That's when he heard the screech.
He went to bed hungry. He'd clean the car tomorrow.
#vss365
The bag was heavy through the window.
Before he drove off the parking lot, Joey saw the bag move. #Ashes drifted out the top. That's when he heard the screech.
He went to bed hungry. He'd clean the car tomorrow.
#vss365
October 8, 2025 at 3:56 PM
In the distance, a funeral.
Bagpipes, a baby’s cry.
She unraveled, thought about her life, her world.
Would she trade places with the deceased or the baby?
Concede this life or take another shot?
She turned, gathered her jacket, and stomped home for a #clash with her partner.
#vss365
Bagpipes, a baby’s cry.
She unraveled, thought about her life, her world.
Would she trade places with the deceased or the baby?
Concede this life or take another shot?
She turned, gathered her jacket, and stomped home for a #clash with her partner.
#vss365
October 8, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Frain's wife enters. "I always #associate you with Thor."
He side eyes her. "Because of the blond hair I don't have?"
"No," she says.
"His immense strength?"
"I'd like you to meet Thor." She whips a hammer. "Specifically, I'd like your forehead to meet Thor."
He should've seen it coming.
#vss365
He side eyes her. "Because of the blond hair I don't have?"
"No," she says.
"His immense strength?"
"I'd like you to meet Thor." She whips a hammer. "Specifically, I'd like your forehead to meet Thor."
He should've seen it coming.
#vss365
October 7, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Frain's wife enters. "I always #associate you with Thor."
He side eyes her. "Because of the blond hair I don't have?"
"No," she says.
"His immense strength?"
"I'd like you to meet Thor." She whips a hammer. "Specifically, I'd like your forehead to meet Thor."
He should've seen it coming.
#vss365
He side eyes her. "Because of the blond hair I don't have?"
"No," she says.
"His immense strength?"
"I'd like you to meet Thor." She whips a hammer. "Specifically, I'd like your forehead to meet Thor."
He should've seen it coming.
#vss365
Housecat purrs, "One more sideways grin outta you and I'll destroy that pretty face."
The big spud chants, "Fraidy Cat, you can't catch me!" He peels away, #elastic arm and all.
Cat reaches her paw out, scratches Spud's eye. Rips a nose. Bites off an ear. Mr. Potato Head would never recover.
#vss365
The big spud chants, "Fraidy Cat, you can't catch me!" He peels away, #elastic arm and all.
Cat reaches her paw out, scratches Spud's eye. Rips a nose. Bites off an ear. Mr. Potato Head would never recover.
#vss365
October 4, 2025 at 9:00 PM
He senses her arrival as calm welcomes a storm. She enters like the wind. Clothing scatters, time #blurs.
Perspiring, Frain’s wife says “I forgot my keys.”
"Oh," he says “I thought you missed me already.”
She stares. “Which one are you again?” Then exits.
Another Wednesday.
#vss365 #blur
Perspiring, Frain’s wife says “I forgot my keys.”
"Oh," he says “I thought you missed me already.”
She stares. “Which one are you again?” Then exits.
Another Wednesday.
#vss365 #blur
October 1, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Thirty minutes before Jan is to join Rob on the altar to exchange vows, her phone rings.
Slices through her like a machete.
On the other end? Rob's wife. From the parking lot.
No #conundrum here. In about thirty-five minutes, it'll be time to say "I do ... NOT."
#vss365 #conundrum
Slices through her like a machete.
On the other end? Rob's wife. From the parking lot.
No #conundrum here. In about thirty-five minutes, it'll be time to say "I do ... NOT."
#vss365 #conundrum
October 1, 2025 at 3:34 AM
Thirty minutes before Jan is to join Rob on the altar to exchange vows, her phone rings.
Slices through her like a machete.
On the other end? Rob's wife. From the parking lot.
No #conundrum here. In about thirty-five minutes, it'll be time to say "I do ... NOT."
#vss365 #conundrum
Slices through her like a machete.
On the other end? Rob's wife. From the parking lot.
No #conundrum here. In about thirty-five minutes, it'll be time to say "I do ... NOT."
#vss365 #conundrum
ICYMI ... If you're looking for an incredible read, do yourself a favor and pick up ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK by Chris Whitaker.
Do yourself another favor -- don't bother wearing socks when you read it cuz it'll knock 'em right off. Can't say enough amazing things about this book.
Do yourself another favor -- don't bother wearing socks when you read it cuz it'll knock 'em right off. Can't say enough amazing things about this book.
September 28, 2025 at 2:37 AM
ICYMI ... If you're looking for an incredible read, do yourself a favor and pick up ALL THE COLORS OF THE DARK by Chris Whitaker.
Do yourself another favor -- don't bother wearing socks when you read it cuz it'll knock 'em right off. Can't say enough amazing things about this book.
Do yourself another favor -- don't bother wearing socks when you read it cuz it'll knock 'em right off. Can't say enough amazing things about this book.
2 am
Frain’s wife jumps up in bed. Gives more #scrutiny to the hallway sound. “You hear that?” she whispers.
“Hear what?” he asks.
“From the stairs.”
He creeps to the hall. She slinks behind.
“What’d it sound like?” he asks.
“Like this,” she says and whacks him with a shovel.
He had to ask.
#vss365
Frain’s wife jumps up in bed. Gives more #scrutiny to the hallway sound. “You hear that?” she whispers.
“Hear what?” he asks.
“From the stairs.”
He creeps to the hall. She slinks behind.
“What’d it sound like?” he asks.
“Like this,” she says and whacks him with a shovel.
He had to ask.
#vss365
September 27, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Sgt. Sanders hits his lights.
Woop woop.
Tan Chevy #Caprice pulls over.
"'96," Sarge said. "Last model year."
"You observe it all," Rook answered. "What's the gas mi--"
"Driver's shoulder," Sarge interrupts. "He reaching for his license or a weapon?"
Rook shut up and observed.
#vss365
Woop woop.
Tan Chevy #Caprice pulls over.
"'96," Sarge said. "Last model year."
"You observe it all," Rook answered. "What's the gas mi--"
"Driver's shoulder," Sarge interrupts. "He reaching for his license or a weapon?"
Rook shut up and observed.
#vss365
September 26, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Frain walks in for his 1 o'clock, his wife and therapist #conspiring. His wife exits.
"Tell you a secret," Frain says . "She wants to kill me."
"Yeah, no. A secret is how and when she's gonna do it."
"So..."
"Sorry. Patient-doctor privilege. But can you settle your bill before Friday?"
#vss365
"Tell you a secret," Frain says . "She wants to kill me."
"Yeah, no. A secret is how and when she's gonna do it."
"So..."
"Sorry. Patient-doctor privilege. But can you settle your bill before Friday?"
#vss365
September 16, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Frain walks in for his 1 o'clock, his wife and therapist #conspiring. His wife exits.
"Tell you a secret," Frain says . "She wants to kill me."
"Yeah, no. A secret is how and when she's gonna do it."
"So..."
"Sorry. Patient-doctor privilege. But can you settle your bill before Friday?"
#vss365
"Tell you a secret," Frain says . "She wants to kill me."
"Yeah, no. A secret is how and when she's gonna do it."
"So..."
"Sorry. Patient-doctor privilege. But can you settle your bill before Friday?"
#vss365
Frain's wife walks into the room. "Oh ... too bad."
"Sorry?" He's never been able to #rein her in.
"Your hair, it's--oh, was that on purpose?"
"But I haven't--"
"It won't matter tomorrow anyway." She exits.
It's her superpower, forever staying three steps ahead.
#vss365 #rein
"Sorry?" He's never been able to #rein her in.
"Your hair, it's--oh, was that on purpose?"
"But I haven't--"
"It won't matter tomorrow anyway." She exits.
It's her superpower, forever staying three steps ahead.
#vss365 #rein
September 15, 2025 at 10:45 PM
"Beautiful view," his wife says from the edge of the the cliff. "You should write your story here."
#Flinching, Frain steps forward. "Lemme think on it."
"Not inspired?"
"I dunno, maybe."
She pats his back. A little harder. "You just need a push in the right direction."
#vss365
#Flinching, Frain steps forward. "Lemme think on it."
"Not inspired?"
"I dunno, maybe."
She pats his back. A little harder. "You just need a push in the right direction."
#vss365
September 14, 2025 at 10:19 PM
"Beautiful view," his wife says from the edge of the the cliff. "You should write your story here."
#Flinching, Frain steps forward. "Lemme think on it."
"Not inspired?"
"I dunno, maybe."
She pats his back. A little harder. "You just need a push in the right direction."
#vss365
#Flinching, Frain steps forward. "Lemme think on it."
"Not inspired?"
"I dunno, maybe."
She pats his back. A little harder. "You just need a push in the right direction."
#vss365