Jordan Beaumont Anderson
LightNews LightNews
banner
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
Jordan Beaumont Anderson
@jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
140 followers 310 following 1.2K posts
Author of Letterboxd's #1 Review of Porky's. Writer/Designer/Dilettante. The world is not my home, I'm just a-passing through.
https://letterboxd.com/QuantumPotPie/
Posts Replies Media Videos
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bVDGnF
A ★ review of Oh. What. Fun. (2025)
An economically advantaged matriarch psychically collapses like an unbalanced wheelbarrow full of body parts because decades of emotional coddling and silent sacrifice finally blows up in her artifici...
boxd.it
December 4, 2025 at 6:55 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bV6oHr
A ★★ review of Trap House (2025)
Even by the amoeba-like cognitive standards of actual real american teens, these motherfuckers make the current presidential cabinet look like the fucking algonquin round table.
boxd.it
December 3, 2025 at 9:37 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 3, 2025 at 9:26 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bV3dsp
A ★★ review of Troll 2 (2025)
Maybe this wouldn't be such a frosty drag if they just made one of the trolls really hot. I mean, the trolls are norwegian, there should be at least a couple leggy blonde ones. Instead they look like ...
boxd.it
December 3, 2025 at 6:29 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 3, 2025 at 4:17 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
do sex workers accept RAM as payment?
December 1, 2025 at 6:12 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
everyone should own at least 1 copy of Joni Mitchell's <i>Hejira</i>

EVERYONE
December 1, 2025 at 5:32 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bU2Dx5
A ★★★★½ review of Wake Up Dead Man (2025)
Never would've guessed but apparently my spanish fly is Thomas Haden Church with fried chicken facial hair. -- All your crying don't do no good Come on up to the house Come down off the cross, we can ...
boxd.it
December 1, 2025 at 4:55 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 1, 2025 at 4:34 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
Claude Rains, Chevy Chase, & Kevin Bacon have played the same dude
December 1, 2025 at 4:28 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
it's a real bummer that Flannery O'Connor and Tom Waits weren't working at the same time. they coulda made some beautiful sad shit
December 1, 2025 at 4:03 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bTZxdn
A ★★★ review of The Living Daylights (1987)
Not nearly as rad as the poster. In fairness, that's true of most Bond films.
boxd.it
December 1, 2025 at 2:52 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
December 1, 2025 at 7:44 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bTQCHz
A ★½ review of After the Hunt (2025)
Where you land with this chatty bitch is essentially based on if you think Luca using the Woody Allen font and some Eyes Wide Shut piano-slapping for his movie about decadent self-fellating intellectu...
boxd.it
December 1, 2025 at 6:48 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
wife is out for the evening so i'm doing the usual red-blooded american male shit: eating tinned mackerel and shout-singing talking heads
November 30, 2025 at 3:05 AM
Reposted by Jordan Beaumont Anderson
melstefaniuk.bsky.social
They want us to believe this isn’t happening, that these pictures of Jay Leno wielding giant scissors are fake…
But they’re real
And it is happening
November 30, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Reposted by Jordan Beaumont Anderson
melstefaniuk.bsky.social
I had that nightmare again
November 30, 2025 at 2:45 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bSQAz5
A ★★★★½ review of Wake Up Dead Man (2025)
Big year for Comrade Josh.
boxd.it
November 30, 2025 at 1:54 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bShtSp
A ★★ review of Keeper (2025)
An attention-starved flea-market-grade artist eats so much chocolate cake that she hallucinates a bunch of drooly albino bitches with zoetrope heads.
boxd.it
November 29, 2025 at 7:37 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
November 29, 2025 at 7:34 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bRIlUn
A ★★★★½ review of Wake Up Dead Man (2025)
Spins gordians of ourobouric nonsense before pruning every thread down to its fundament. Or some fucking thing. Downright glistens with possibility.
boxd.it
November 28, 2025 at 1:34 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
why of all words are they called flies?
November 28, 2025 at 12:14 PM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
are there any portmanteaus for portmanteau?
November 28, 2025 at 11:30 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
November 28, 2025 at 9:19 AM
jbeaumontanderson.bsky.social
boxd.it/bR5lVR
A ★½ review of Wicked: For Good (2025)
This review may contain spoilers. Visit the page to bypass this warning and read the review.
boxd.it
November 27, 2025 at 9:37 AM