Also: is this new? I remember people saying this years ago, people who were at school with him. Did we all get amnesia?

I see a rich crossover with Slow Horses’ style of character here, for adult audiences.

We have a jumpy cat (rescued) who sits on the path looking just like The Groke and so I give her … patience.

Guy Fawkes: ‘if plan A fails, plan B will kick in. It’s less risky but it’s quite a bit slower’.

I have a cable for my big AirPods Max which would also kill off the bloody fidget noise (and staff wallow talkie noise that ran throughout, suitably amplified by hearing aid). ‘Next time’ I suppose.

It said it was based on WiFi and I thought ‘ok well that should solve BT lag’ before i left. But ironic that just as everyone abandons cables, we switch hearing aids to that…

That’s sadly reassuring as I haven’t either. But this one DID - with a slight lag on BT in one ear…literally just need to say ‘cables headphones!’ on the info page, sigh.

Oh hearing aids are not fun for misophones …. Every crisp packet becomes a drum kit lol

I ended up just managing with the hearing aid function and missed a lot of the last 20 minutes because woman next to me was fiddling around crackling her plastic drink cup which drowned out half the voices. Can’t make it up, no one would believe you.

No inductive loop option, the one that was surely fitted there years ago. And I imagine that’s the one cochlear implants use? (Forgive ignorance) it’s just staggering they spent thousands setting this up then couldn’t be bothered to do a short paragraph on their website so you can use it.

Find member of staff at interval who reveals password is stupidly obvious (therefore pointless). It doesn’t play anything during interval, obviously. Only way to calibrate it is to use your phone during performance (bright light! Bright light!).

I just…we looked it up before we left. It said they have these two systems and use your own headphones. Ok cool, running a bit late, set off. Take hearing aid and AirPods. Discover on sitting the wifi had this stupid password for a network whose sole purpose is to send out audio.

You know the ones, the ones that are at home lol.

Brought hearing aid with inductive loop connection? Sorry grandad, nope. Brought your own earbuds as suggested? Well, Bluetooth lags. once you’ve found a member of staff to access the pointlessly protected HearingAssist WiFi (password ‘HearingAssist’) THEN it tells you to bring headphones with cable

All of them in the same one.

Urgh ffs.