Jared Rizzi
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jaredrizzi.bsky.social
Jared Rizzi
@jaredrizzi.bsky.social
1K followers 600 following 1.1K posts
father of #PistachioJoe
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jaredrizzi.bsky.social
why is this legal
A digital billboard on the back of a grocery delivery truck advertising bacon
November 8, 2025 at 5:50 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
"This is a crime scene!"

"It's an office."

"We're in Washington. Same thing."
Uzo Aduba as Cordelia Cupp in The Residence (Netflix, 2025)
November 6, 2025 at 6:20 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
October 31, 2025 at 2:55 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
Onion Sickos meme but French: "oui... Hon hon hon... OUI!"
October 31, 2025 at 2:23 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
happy Halloween from one of the most desperate, AI slop, transphobic campaigns I've ever seen
American Principles Project PAC text message: "ABIGAIL" (in spooky red font) with an AI generated image of Virginia's next governor, Abigail Spanberger, looking menacing on a web, maybe? Text: "Monsters preying upon children. Predators in little girls' locker rooms. Sights they will never unsee. This isn't a horror movie, it's Virginia under Abigail Spanberger. Protect your children and vote no on Abigail Spanberger... before your worst nightmare comes true. "Paid for by American Principles Project PAC. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee. www.app-pac.com"
October 31, 2025 at 2:21 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
someone is trying to hurt me
"Pasta chips" - potato shaped into pasta shapes and coated with "marinara" dust, now available at Costco. A hate crime.
October 29, 2025 at 5:16 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
Is it a robot, or is it another "mechanical Turk"?
Janet gives Michael a cactus (not a file) - The Good Place (2016)
October 29, 2025 at 12:53 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
we used to be able to walk into a quaint sandwich shop knowing that only the most degenerate among us would become bricked up
Quiznos spongemonkeys "coz they are good to us"
October 26, 2025 at 5:43 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
Or the French Canadians
"oui... Hon hon hon... OUI!" French version of the Onion sickos meme
October 22, 2025 at 1:07 AM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
Who robbed the Louvre? Right answers only.
image from Persona 5 (2016): Panther, Skull, Fox, and Joker look at a giant painting inside Madarame's museum palace
October 20, 2025 at 12:09 AM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
Kombucha woman meme triptych left to right Panel 1: drinking from a can Panel 2: grimace face Panel 3: reconsidering face
October 19, 2025 at 10:30 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
loved the "Aunt Tifa" signs at #NoKings but I really hope some of you are ready to teach the classics
Tifa Lockhart as portrayed in the Final Fantasy VII remake
October 18, 2025 at 7:18 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
happy weekend
A fire pit in a DC backyard: string lights hazy from the smoke, with a green shed in the background.
October 18, 2025 at 12:22 AM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
Ermahgerd Goosebumps meme with text "ERRLI CORVID" on the bottom instead
October 16, 2025 at 8:32 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
incredible scene out of Portland
October 10, 2025 at 4:44 AM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
Arrested Development (2003) still image. Lindsay Bluth Fünke: "I'm not gonna lie to you, Michael. This is great news for HOOP."
October 9, 2025 at 6:33 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
same energy
@longwall26 Twitter: "Confident in my ability to properly tennis, I take the court. I smile at my opponent. Serena does not return the gesture. She'd be prettier if she did, I think. She serves. The ball passes cleanly through my skull, killing me instantly"
October 2, 2025 at 3:08 AM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
will @mayorbowser.dc.gov continue to lie about mpd working hand in glove with feds with so many members of our community showing video of the lies?

www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/202...
"A video from Sept. 25 shows a D.C. police officer releasing a man in a neon yellow construction jacket from handcuffs, then passing his wrists — still held behind his back — to a masked man in a Homeland Security uniform who immediately handcuffs the man again before leading him to an unmarked car. Another man is handcuffed by city officers and led to a marked D.C. police cruiser."
October 2, 2025 at 2:55 AM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
SHOW ME... CHARLIE KIRK?
Family Feud "X" indicating a wrong answer
September 20, 2025 at 2:40 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
Bad moderation
"Self-Harm" bluesky moderation label on Kyle's post showing a slave's maimed back
September 16, 2025 at 8:52 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
September 16, 2025 at 12:53 AM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
this is the worst thing anyone will be allowed to say about Kirk soon
September 16, 2025 at 12:48 AM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
September 12, 2025 at 9:28 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
I miss my dog. This weekend would have been Navi's 15th birthday.

Relatedly, grief just clings like barnacles as I get older.
Navi, a silly brown dog with one floppy ear and one regular ear, looking expectantly up at the camera (from 2021)
September 12, 2025 at 9:02 PM
jaredrizzi.bsky.social
September 8, 2025 at 7:45 PM