James Wildman
LightNews LightNews
jameswildman.bsky.social
James Wildman
@jameswildman.bsky.social
110 followers 250 following 380 posts
Noone of consequence. Sometimes paints Warhammer. (He/him)
Posts Replies Media Videos
jameswildman.bsky.social
I... I do not have red models, somehow.

Anyway, here's some Blood Angels from my son a few years back.
Five Warhammer models: a unit of Space Marine Intercessors from the 8th Edition starter box. They are painted red, with the aquila on their chests picked out in gold. Their weapons are black and gunmetal.
October 10, 2025 at 10:33 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
Just been down to the local Warhammer store submit two Armies on Parade: the Krieg Veterans kill team and the most recent (and ghostly) parts of the Revenants from my homebrew craftworld.

So much fun being able to share these with folks in real life and talk about the hobby.

#WarhammerCommunity
A photo of a small Warhammer army on a scenic board with terrain. The army consists of a Farseer, a Spirit Seer, 10 Guardian Defenders, Maugan Ra and 5 Dark Reapers, 5 Wraithblades, 5 Wraithguard and one Wraithlord. The whole army is painted in a range of greys, with white detailing providing accents. Bladed weapons have a blue/white glow - adding to the ghostly effect. Standing out is the left hand of each miniature, painted a blood red for the bloody handed god Khaine. A photo of a Warhammer Kill Team unit on a scenic board with terrain in the background. The unit is ten Death Korps of Krieg Veterans, wearing greatcoats and gas masks, carrying a diverse mixture of weapons and wargear. They all wear drab blue with brown details for leather gear and wooden rifle stocks, weathered with the thick dust of the desert sand on their bases, and with a bright flash of red on the collars if their great
October 4, 2025 at 12:26 PM
jameswildman.bsky.social
"Beep boop" say the souls of my dead kin before they mess you up with glowing power weapons.
A photo of Warhammer miniatures against a glossy black background: a Wraith Lord and a unit of Wraith Blades. The five Wraith Blades are robotic war-constructs, humanoid in shape but 9 or 10 feet tall, wielding glowing power axes and power shields. The Wraith Lord towers above them, bristling with weapons and holding a gigantic glowing power sword. The constructs are a sombre grey colour with white heads and tabards, except for their left hand which is blood red, to honour Bloody Handed Khaine.
October 3, 2025 at 7:03 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
Test scheme for the Leagues of Votann.

Dark blue over a light blue with orange basing for contrast. Pretty happy with it - think this is a scheme I'm going to enjoy painting.
A photo of a Warhammer miniature. The mini is one of the Kin of the Leagues of Votann - a stocky, short-statured humanoid (ok, "Space Dwarf"). They wear body armour with a fully enclosed dome-shaped helmet over a rugged jumpsuit with knee and elbow pads. The armour is dark blue with a luminous orange eye-slit. The jumpsuit is a paler grey-blue, with grey pads and brown gloves. They are standing on a base of orange earth with a few tufts of scrubby grey grass.
October 2, 2025 at 10:19 PM
jameswildman.bsky.social
Ok, but I think those glasses are actually pretty popular. I've seen loads of them in my local party supplies and costume shop.
A screenshot from a magazine with the text "Mark Zuckerberg is making a major bet on the future. He's about to share it" captionning a photo of Zuckerberg. He is wearing some derpy looking glasses which are presumably some kind of Meta smart glasses nonsense. The image has been vastly improved by scrawling on a fake moustache so it looks like he's wearing the famous Groucho Marx disguise.
September 15, 2025 at 1:01 PM
jameswildman.bsky.social
Taken a break from the grey-on-grey Aeldari to take the Krieg kill team off the pile of shame after *checks notes* 4 years.

Painted in about 5 slightly different ways to see what would happen. I think the variation in results suits a veteran squad, and I'm pretty happy.

#Warhammer #AstraMilitarum
A squad of Warhammer models: a Death Korps of Krieg veteran squad. 10 soldiers in pale blue greatcoats and gas masks, with a flash of red at the collar (and, for the sergeant, the cuffs). They wield a variety of weapons - standard lasguns, special weapons, and some melee weapons including bayonets and a trench club. Their bases portray the pale cracked earth of a desert with scrubby green vegetation, and the dust cakes their uniforms and weapons (hopefully hiding the painter's lack of skill). A squad of Warhammer models: a Death Korps of Krieg veteran squad. 10 soldiers in pale blue greatcoats and gas masks, with a flash of red at the collar (and, for the sergeant, the cuffs). They wield a variety of weapons - standard lasguns, special weapons, and some melee weapons including bayonets and a trench club. Their bases portray the pale cracked earth of a desert with scrubby green vegetation, and the dust cakes their uniforms and weapons (hopefully hiding the painter's lack of skill). A squad of Warhammer models: a Death Korps of Krieg veteran squad. 10 soldiers in pale blue greatcoats and gas masks, with a flash of red at the collar (and, for the sergeant, the cuffs). They wield a variety of weapons - standard lasguns, special weapons, and some melee weapons including bayonets and a trench club. Their bases portray the pale cracked earth of a desert with scrubby green vegetation, and the dust cakes their uniforms and weapons (hopefully hiding the painter's lack of skill).
September 13, 2025 at 11:38 PM
jameswildman.bsky.social
I had a lot of fun with the pink accents in this chap. Especially the slightly suggestive pink Harlequin's... er, Kiss.
A Warhammer Miniature - an Aeldari Harlequin Solitaire. This lithe elfin figure wears a black robe accented with a pink sash, and horned mask (also pink) representing Slaanesh, the god of sensation and excess, and the Aeldari's doom. They are leaping over a ruin, preparing to strike with their pink, foot long, blunted punch dagger the Harlequin's... <checks notes> Kiss. Side view of the same Warhammer Miniature. An Aeldari Harlequin Solitaire. This lithe elfin figure wears a black robe accented with a pink sash, and horned mask (also pink) representing Slaanesh, the god of sensation and excess, and the Aeldari's doom. They are leaping over a ruin, preparing to strike with their pink, foot long, blunted punch dagger the Harlequin's... <checks notes> Kiss.
September 10, 2025 at 8:51 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
I feel like I'm always posting this magnificently hench short queen, but her Kin remain frustratingly stuck on the pile of shame.

One day...
A Warhammer miniature - an Einhyr Champion of the Leagues of Votann. A warrior of the Kin - a short but powerfully built humanoid. She wears midnight blue exo-armour with a bulk and heftiness against her short stature that she comes off almost square. She wields a Mass Hammer, while a crest over her head sports the antlers of a golden stag.
September 5, 2025 at 1:47 PM
jameswildman.bsky.social
Has to be Maugan Ra.

Look at him, taking a wide stance astride those ruins and flexing his scythe-cannon.

He knows exactly what he's doing.
Photo of a Warhammer miniature. Maugan Ra takes a wide legged stance over a ruin, while hefting his shuriken cannon with its unnecessary scythe blade bayonet. His tattered grey robe flaps in the breeze over his dark grey armour, while the only colour in his outfit comes from his blood-red left glove, and the long red hair on the skull that has been mounted (complete with spine and ribs) on his back pole. He is aura farming. The tart. I bet that skull-hair is dyed. Photo of a Warhammer miniature (side view). Maugan Ra takes a wide legged stance over a ruin, while hefting his shuriken cannon with its unnecessary scythe blade bayonet. His tattered grey robe flaps in the breeze over his dark grey armour, while the only colour in his outfit comes from his blood-red left glove, and the long red hair on the skull that has been mounted (complete with spine and ribs) on his back pole. He is aura farming. The tart. I bet that skull-hair is dyed.
August 21, 2025 at 10:27 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
Well, it's an old one but I hardly ever post Inquisitor Erasmus Cartavolnus of the Ordo Malleus, bane of librarians.

"No, madam, I will not shush. Now give me that book, I need to stab it with my sword".
A Warhammer miniature - Inquisitor Erasmus Cartavolnus. He wears dark silver power armour with gold trim, and a midnight blue hooded robe over the top. His banner pole with the sigil of the Inquisition looms over his head, and he is festooned with purity seals - ribbons of parchment affixed with wax. His augmetic eye glows under his hood as he stabs his great black sword inscribed with the word "Exterminatus" into a demonic book, which bursts into pink flames.
August 15, 2025 at 8:48 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
Grey?

Grey, I can do.
Two Warhammer miniatures: an Aeldari Farseer, and a Wraithseer. They wear grey armour, with crested fully enclosed helmets, and paler grey cloaks. They carry blades of glowing blue, and their left hand is blood red. A small group of Warhammer miniatures. Five Dark Reapers, wielding missile launchers. They are clad in dark grey armour with skull-like masks on their helmets, and blood red left hands. Behind them is the more imposing figure of Maugan Ra. Standing astride a stone ruin, wielding a huge cannon adorned with a scythe blade, he wears a pale robe over his armour, and a back-pole made of a skeleton. His left hand is also blood red. Warhammer miniatures - a squad of Aeldari Guardians, and their accompanying weapon platform. They carry light weapons, and wear lithe grey armour with one blood red left hand. Warhammer miniatures - a close up of a wider army shot, you can see a Farseer in a pale robe, an Autarch Wayleaper with a winged jump-pack, with Wraith constructs in the background, before a ruined barricade. All wear shades of grey, with glowing blue blades, and a blood red left hand to signify their bloody handed god of war, Kaela Mensha Khaine.
July 25, 2025 at 1:45 PM
jameswildman.bsky.social
QRP with your wings art!

Bascia Thaín, Wayleaper, Autarch of Craftworld Sca Ité.
A Warhammer miniature: an Autarch Wayleaper. An elfin humanoid in sleek armour, with a jump-pack styled as feathered wings, and a fully enclosed helmet with a feathered crest. They carry a pistol and wield a glaive with a glowing blue blade one-handed. Their armour and weapons are grey, with their cloak and feathers almost white - the monochrome broken by a red sash, and a red left hand. A Warhammer miniature: an Autarch Wayleaper. An elfin humanoid in sleek armour, with a jump-pack styled as feathered wings, and a fully enclosed helmet with a feathered crest. They carry a pistol and wield a glaive with a glowing blue blade one-handed. Their armour and weapons are grey, with their cloak and feathers almost white - the monochrome broken by a red sash, and a red left hand. Side view, showing the wing detail.
July 20, 2025 at 8:46 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
On the other hand, Ministerial press conferences might benefit from a bit more "BRIEFCASE W*NKER" heckling.
A photo of former Chancellor (and later, Prime Minister) Rishi Sunak posing with the distinctive red Ministerial briefcase.
July 16, 2025 at 5:37 PM
jameswildman.bsky.social
This all seems valid, but the second I read "I went plane", I just immediately thought of the Cargo Space stock photo joke, and had to share it to exorcise it.
A two panel stock photo joke. Panel 1: a salesperson is showing a new car to a customer. The customer says "Cargo space?" Panel 2: the salesperson replies "Car no do that. Car go road".
July 4, 2025 at 3:23 PM
jameswildman.bsky.social
Beastboss says hell yeah <punches fist in air in agreement>
A Warhammer miniature: a Beastboss on Squigosaur. The Beastboss is a huge green skinned Ork warlord riding a terrifying bright orange creature that looks like the offspring of a dinosaur, a shark, and a steampunk mecha. The Beastboss is roaring and punching his left fist in the air in agreement with Vincent, and showing off his comically large twin-bladed arm dagger.
July 1, 2025 at 10:46 PM
jameswildman.bsky.social
Ok, the humans don't entirely work, but the literal bulldog is 100% excellence.

Underworlds continues its smol creature winning streak.
Close-up shot of a small Warhammer miniature from the Underworlds warband, "Kamandora's Blades". It is a dog, kind of, with a chunky brass collar made of Khornate symbols, and a skull brand. It has smooth black skin, clawed paws, a face like a stretched out bat with evil teeth and long pointy ears set low underneath a massive set of bull's horns. Bull. Dog. Nice one.
July 1, 2025 at 8:00 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
The Old Ones, 65M years ago:

(courtesy of xkcd.com)
An XKCD cartoon "Forks and Spoons". The cartoon is all simple black and white stick-person drawings. Panel 1: a scientist making a presentation: "A spoon crossed with a fork is a spork" Panel 2: presentation continues over shots of a fork/spoon family tree. "Our lab has successfully crossed a spork with a spoon" Panel 3: we see that the scientist is in front of a grant committee: "With your funding, we could breed hybrids in proportions to any binary fraction". Panel 4: a committee member says "You're toying with powerful forces here". The scientist replies "We know what we're doing". Panel 5 is larger and offset down and to the right. It's captioned "Two weeks later". A laboratory is wrecked, smashed equipment and dead scientists strewn about, and blood (red, the only colour in the cartoon) splashed all over. A tiny piece of cutlery nonchalantly hops out of the devastation.
June 21, 2025 at 9:07 PM
jameswildman.bsky.social
Best I've got is these two.

"Don't ever talk to me or my son again".
A photo of two Warhammer miniatures side by side. Maugan Ra is an imposing figure standing aside some ruins. He wears a tattered grey robe which flows dramatically in the breeze, has skeleton stylings on his armour, and wields a cannon with a scythe blade on the end. He is the very image of Death, if death was a sci-fi Elf with ranged weaponry. The Death Jester is squatting on similar-looking ruins, also has skeletal armour (no robe), and also weilds a cannon with a scythe blade on the end - albeit the cannon and blade are far smaller. Their poses and silhouettes are extremely similar, but one is far grander and more imposing.
June 14, 2025 at 10:47 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
"Reach for the stars" - Ezekyle Abaddon, motivational speaker.
A painting showing Warhammer character Abaddon the Despoiler. He is depicted from the chest up, above a scene of a huge war-host on a planet in flames, set against a livid purple sky. He wears his Terminator armour decorated with the skulls of his enemies. In the mighty power-claw covering his right hand, he is reaching out and appears to be holding a planet. Not a star. Just a planet. Best match I could find for the lyrics.
June 2, 2025 at 4:35 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
This is actually really funny.

They have 18% more protein than regular babybel (22g to 24g per 100g) but 30% less fat (23g to 15g), so they are different but...

You could make a basically identical cheese, put it in gentle, feminine, pastel colored packaging and call it Babybel Light.

Oh wait...
Photo of a packet of 10 Babybel Light cheeses. The cheeses are wrapped in a pale blue rind, but have the red Babybel logo on a sticker. Because the packet is not black, these are clearly not aimed at Men. (Sarcasm)
May 16, 2025 at 7:41 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
I was going to make a joke about "Ague Marines" spreading acute fevers, but today, in my late 40s, I learned it's pronounced "aig-you". 🤯
Screenshot of Wiktionary noting that "ague" is commonly pronounced to rhyme with "plague" by people who have learned it from books, which is not the standard pronunciation.
May 10, 2025 at 7:27 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
Americans that think? Frankly I find the idea offensive!
A screenshot from the film Starship Troopers (1997). A white man in a black suit and bow tie on a TV talk show angrily dismisses the idea of Bugs that can think as "offensive".
May 5, 2025 at 5:47 PM
jameswildman.bsky.social
"Aren't you kind of short for a Terminator?"

"I'm Luk Himmelgåtur, I'm here to rescue you."
April 22, 2025 at 9:17 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
Like, this is literally "My shower has five different heads, they should be able to simultaneously blast me with 2.5gpm of water flow each, not 2.5gpm total".

Anyway, screw the Obama era regulations. Let's just use common sense. What could possibly go wrong?
A screenshot of a web search result showing a link to the Urban Dictionary definition of "Shower Head"
April 10, 2025 at 5:50 AM
jameswildman.bsky.social
An image from the film "Dead Poets Society". Several teenagers at a private school wearing dark blazers and ties stand on top of their classroom desks.
March 5, 2025 at 6:06 AM