I just honestly hope that well, things can improve for me a lot mentally since I deal with a lot in general and just simply want to become the best person I can for myself and the people I value spending time and care with. Things are way better than they were but there are always things to improve

Even if its people I've met by sitting down at a CRT playing a 20+ year old party game, playing in overwatch scrims years ago, playing destiny and just having a good time while raiding, all the people that I've had stick around have been some of the best people I could've ever known.

Simply just, knowing that I already do that for my partners and friends as well, it does also help a ton. Like, a fuck ton. If it weren't for a lot of amazing people in my life, I don't know where I'd be currently.

Knowing that some steps to becoming a better me that can thrive in this world are already generally happening does allow me to keep going to pursue my goals in what I want to be and what I want to do in life, which is to just try and make the world a more enjoyable and better place for people.

Life has been a little good to me though, despite this and more issues that have been popping up. I fortunately might be able to start HRT soon here in around a month and have been able to get therapy to help with... a LOT of things that have plagued me since I was a very young child.

(4/?)
exactly what to do. I generally feel directionless in how to achieve goals. Its a feeling that I genuinely can't describe, but its something that constantly tugs at me no matter what I do.

(3/?)
own life/story just seems beautiful to me, as my life has been touched by games like this like Celeste or other media with underlying themes of big mental health life lessons within them. However, to obtain everything I'd love to be able to do, while also balancing myself, I just don't know-

(2/?)
These goals of simply just wanting to graduate with a game design degree in hopes of making games and experiences that could help someone in need or to allow someone to just sit down and enjoy themself while also being able to have valuable advice or lessons built into a character's-

2/20/25 (1/?)
Life has been a little rough this year, and finding footing in multiple areas since my 18th birthday has been annoying, to say the least. Been feeling directionless despite having goals to what I end up wanting my life to be, but I end up just... not knowing how to achieve them.

thoughts out about this through her own self-discovery in her streams recently, even if I had really gotten my answer before those has happened. Gender is hard to grasp sometimes, but I'm expecting this discovery for me to lead to great things in the future

I know I'm likely just talking to the void, and the couple friends that check this platform that might see this, but it's nice to get some of these thoughts out, even if it does seem a bit pointless to. I'm pretty grateful of azalae (azeal on youtube) for unironically helping me kinda get my-

The people I've told have thankfully been really supportive of it, with my partners and my destiny clan being really accepting, it's just something new and it's a little unnatural, but I'm the type of person who always wants to learn more and grow from it, and this is a big stepping stone to

It feels really nice to finally understand and have the discovery, but it also is kinda scary, especially when trying to talk to people about it, yknow? It's kinda nerve racking asking for people to check in on what i actually go by on certain days because it's not something they're used to entirely

Struggled with figuring out I was really kinda just on the genderfluidity spectrum for a long while, with long nights of questioning month after month, wondering why I always felt different some days more than others. It kinda felt like a 2nd egg cracking when you think about it

I feel you completely on the joy and fear part. The initial discovery is a very exciting but scary experience, but once you do move past it a bit and get to the social transition is when it does feel a lot better. Really been enjoying what you've been doin and wish you the best in the future :>

Why this of all posts to say hi 😭