Impossible. Pianos are not tuned in a linear fashion. The treble is artificially sharpened and the bass flattened… otherwise it’ll sound like a pile of old wank.

🤣

None of them have been made for years, and the Truskymump Tariffs don’t apply.

It won’t ever. Tuning a piano is 25% hearing the fucker, and 75% equalising tension in all sections of the string, including the mute sections, so it doesn’t go out of tune in an unreasonably short time. ChatGPT would have to develop muscle control and intuition. My job is safe.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You can’t do that mechanically on a piano, but some bright spark used that principle on a piano by applying an electric current to each string to heat it. Heating the string causes it to expand and thus drop in pitch. Trouble was, the system pulled about 1.5kW whilst the piano was in use.

It sends you mad. Maaaaaad I tell you.

I’d ditch him. Sounds like a crank. (Piano tuner “in” joke. Sorry)

Very good, but a shame that it’s a nasty saturated fat that clogs arteries.