Jack Assels 🇬🇱 🇵🇦 🇨🇦 🇩🇰 🇺🇦 🇻🇪 🇳🇬
@jackassels.bsky.social
Here for the dogs, elephants, rhinos and Oxford commas.
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity. -- W.B. Yeats (anticipating 2025)
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity. -- W.B. Yeats (anticipating 2025)
That's unfortunate. I'm sure she would testify truthfully, but as a "domestic terrorist", her testimony would be considered untrustworthy by 37% of the population.
January 10, 2026 at 12:39 AM
That's unfortunate. I'm sure she would testify truthfully, but as a "domestic terrorist", her testimony would be considered untrustworthy by 37% of the population.
Who yells "No! OMFG!"? That starts as the shooter begins to pass in front of the car, well before the gun shots. Can that be a response to the shooter drawing his weapon? I hope the BCA can interview the person who yelled.
January 9, 2026 at 10:19 PM
Who yells "No! OMFG!"? That starts as the shooter begins to pass in front of the car, well before the gun shots. Can that be a response to the shooter drawing his weapon? I hope the BCA can interview the person who yelled.
In the footage from the bystander you can see that he's holding something in his left hand after the car has sped away. I think it's probably the phone. (Also, the CNN anchor said the new video was from an ICE agent's phone, although they didn't specify that it was the shooter's phone.)
January 9, 2026 at 9:54 PM
In the footage from the bystander you can see that he's holding something in his left hand after the car has sped away. I think it's probably the phone. (Also, the CNN anchor said the new video was from an ICE agent's phone, although they didn't specify that it was the shooter's phone.)
Thanks. He has clearly gotten out of the path of the car before he stops aiming the phone. He must be drawing his weapon while still looking at the phone.
January 9, 2026 at 9:27 PM
Thanks. He has clearly gotten out of the path of the car before he stops aiming the phone. He must be drawing his weapon while still looking at the phone.
Are we sure the guy with the phone is also the shooter? That seems to be the case, but I'm having trouble figuring out how he moves his attention from filming to shooting in the split second of time available.
January 9, 2026 at 9:10 PM
Are we sure the guy with the phone is also the shooter? That seems to be the case, but I'm having trouble figuring out how he moves his attention from filming to shooting in the split second of time available.
On the day before I started law school my fortune cookie said "Avoid legal entranglements [sic]". It was right.
December 26, 2025 at 12:50 PM
On the day before I started law school my fortune cookie said "Avoid legal entranglements [sic]". It was right.
PaleoNazis are old-fashioned Nazis, as opposed to neoNazis who are the very chic modern Nazis currently on the ascendant.
November 12, 2025 at 3:40 PM
PaleoNazis are old-fashioned Nazis, as opposed to neoNazis who are the very chic modern Nazis currently on the ascendant.
To be fair, Edward VIII was a paleoNazi.
November 12, 2025 at 2:07 PM
To be fair, Edward VIII was a paleoNazi.
LA's gonna be Canada soon, so either way is good.
October 28, 2025 at 9:34 PM
LA's gonna be Canada soon, so either way is good.
I was speaking geographically, not politically.
October 10, 2025 at 6:44 PM
I was speaking geographically, not politically.
I dunno about that. Idaho is further left than Wyoming.
October 10, 2025 at 3:46 PM
I dunno about that. Idaho is further left than Wyoming.
Nobody leaves the auditorium until I find out who took the strawberries.
September 25, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Nobody leaves the auditorium until I find out who took the strawberries.
Obstruction of justice charges against the grand jurors?
September 25, 2025 at 3:03 AM
Obstruction of justice charges against the grand jurors?
This strongly suggests that most white people are elderly male high school dropouts.
September 17, 2025 at 2:44 AM
This strongly suggests that most white people are elderly male high school dropouts.
I shudder to think what might happen if Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon and Potassium were to go on a double date.
August 5, 2025 at 7:29 PM
I shudder to think what might happen if Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon and Potassium were to go on a double date.
I had an astronaut's finger in my rectum once. I also had an astronaut's finger on my doorbell. Two different astronauts. (One was my family doctor. The other was my MP.)
July 17, 2025 at 6:23 PM
I had an astronaut's finger in my rectum once. I also had an astronaut's finger on my doorbell. Two different astronauts. (One was my family doctor. The other was my MP.)
I think that may have been Andy Byron's wife looking up "Andy Byron net worth".
July 17, 2025 at 6:16 PM
I think that may have been Andy Byron's wife looking up "Andy Byron net worth".
Community note: every word is true.
June 21, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Community note: every word is true.
Of course you can't invoke habeas corpus for a class. That would be habeas corpora.
May 8, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Of course you can't invoke habeas corpus for a class. That would be habeas corpora.
Too many Opus DEI hires.
April 8, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Too many Opus DEI hires.
Looking forward to seeing signs outside Moscow supermarkets saying "US dollar accepted at par."
April 3, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Looking forward to seeing signs outside Moscow supermarkets saying "US dollar accepted at par."
But Pete's an Opus DEI hire, so it's all good.
March 25, 2025 at 12:52 PM
But Pete's an Opus DEI hire, so it's all good.
That's actually how his name is spelled in French!
March 16, 2025 at 5:02 PM
That's actually how his name is spelled in French!