Joey “Joey Rizzolo” Rizzolo
@j-rizz.bsky.social
That’s right; Joey Rizzolo. Of all people.
Charlie Kirk was so adored that the government has to force people to mourn him. 🙌
September 18, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Charlie Kirk was so adored that the government has to force people to mourn him. 🙌
Yesterday was International Redhead Day! But it was sunny, so they probably stayed inside.
May 27, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Yesterday was International Redhead Day! But it was sunny, so they probably stayed inside.
RFK isn’t anti-vaccine; he just hates autistic people.
April 21, 2025 at 5:26 PM
RFK isn’t anti-vaccine; he just hates autistic people.
Let’s be fair to Pete Hegseth: he’s not used to being sober at work.
March 25, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Let’s be fair to Pete Hegseth: he’s not used to being sober at work.
ANTIGONUS: I’ve had it with these leather bars. It’s always the big guys who are flirting with me.
* Exits, pursued by a bear
* Exits, pursued by a bear
March 24, 2025 at 3:56 PM
ANTIGONUS: I’ve had it with these leather bars. It’s always the big guys who are flirting with me.
* Exits, pursued by a bear
* Exits, pursued by a bear
If you can talk about politics without using the phrase ‘this moment,’ you’ve got my vote.
March 21, 2025 at 10:04 PM
If you can talk about politics without using the phrase ‘this moment,’ you’ve got my vote.
I’ve suffered far greater losses than losing a dog, but goddamn if losing the least complicated relationship I’ll ever have doesn’t hurt in a special way.
March 15, 2025 at 12:15 AM
I’ve suffered far greater losses than losing a dog, but goddamn if losing the least complicated relationship I’ll ever have doesn’t hurt in a special way.
By what I did with the Zelensky thing alone, I shoulda been made, right there, boom.
March 8, 2025 at 5:22 PM
By what I did with the Zelensky thing alone, I shoulda been made, right there, boom.
For Lent, I’m giving up
February 26, 2025 at 8:55 PM
For Lent, I’m giving up
If the country can be toppled by an organization named after a Shiba Inu meme, maybe we don’t deserve to stand.
February 7, 2025 at 4:46 AM
If the country can be toppled by an organization named after a Shiba Inu meme, maybe we don’t deserve to stand.
If the second amendment exists to protect us from an overreaching government, how come the second amendment people aren’t protecting us from an overreaching government?
February 7, 2025 at 2:28 AM
If the second amendment exists to protect us from an overreaching government, how come the second amendment people aren’t protecting us from an overreaching government?
I hope he dies soon. I hope it’s humiliating and I hope it’s televised.
January 29, 2025 at 12:44 AM
I hope he dies soon. I hope it’s humiliating and I hope it’s televised.
…and the trains aren’t even running on time.
January 28, 2025 at 11:30 PM
…and the trains aren’t even running on time.
Synchronized sleeping
January 20, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Synchronized sleeping
Since he’s sworn in at 12 pm, does his one day dictator dispensation expire at midnight or does it run until noon tomorrow?
January 20, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Since he’s sworn in at 12 pm, does his one day dictator dispensation expire at midnight or does it run until noon tomorrow?
My own pyrrhic victory over TikTok shutting down in the US is that now I don’t have to learn how to use it.
January 19, 2025 at 7:26 PM
My own pyrrhic victory over TikTok shutting down in the US is that now I don’t have to learn how to use it.
Welp, I finally did it! I finally told my boss to shove it! I’m ready to be a full time TikTok creator now!
January 19, 2025 at 4:42 AM
Welp, I finally did it! I finally told my boss to shove it! I’m ready to be a full time TikTok creator now!
Today my wife accused me of “ghosting” her because I took a shower without announcing it first.
January 12, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Today my wife accused me of “ghosting” her because I took a shower without announcing it first.
I haven’t finished building my guillotine yet! Some people have no patience whatsoever.
December 5, 2024 at 12:38 AM
I haven’t finished building my guillotine yet! Some people have no patience whatsoever.
You’re an idiot.
Or possibly an individual with your own thoughts and feelings.
Or possibly an individual with your own thoughts and feelings.
November 28, 2024 at 7:00 PM
You’re an idiot.
Or possibly an individual with your own thoughts and feelings.
Or possibly an individual with your own thoughts and feelings.
I woke up in a parallel dimension today. I tried to alert the New Amsterdam Times, but they didn’t believe me.
November 24, 2024 at 4:37 AM
I woke up in a parallel dimension today. I tried to alert the New Amsterdam Times, but they didn’t believe me.
You know, if all my friends did it and they lived to say that had a great time doing it, then yeah Ma, I actually would jump off a bridge.
November 23, 2024 at 1:55 AM
You know, if all my friends did it and they lived to say that had a great time doing it, then yeah Ma, I actually would jump off a bridge.
Have you ever stopped playing Monopoly by switching to Candyland? It’s a game changer.
November 21, 2024 at 2:10 PM
Have you ever stopped playing Monopoly by switching to Candyland? It’s a game changer.
I lie on the ground and shift my body weight until I rotate.
That’s just how I roll.
That’s just how I roll.
November 20, 2024 at 6:41 PM
I lie on the ground and shift my body weight until I rotate.
That’s just how I roll.
That’s just how I roll.
