Just One Thing
@j-1-t.bsky.social
Simple things we can do to improve our everyday conversations, inspired by Mike Mosley’s much-loved BBC radio series, Just One Thing. Mike’s subject was health; ours is the health of human connection – relationships. For more see creativeconversation.org
Want to talk better, more productively when things get tough?
Practise in calm waters.
Everyday chats – What shall we have for dinner, how was your day – build rhythm and trust. They’re not fluff. They’re the groundwork.
So when storms come, you’re already fluent in something kind and steady.
Practise in calm waters.
Everyday chats – What shall we have for dinner, how was your day – build rhythm and trust. They’re not fluff. They’re the groundwork.
So when storms come, you’re already fluent in something kind and steady.
June 26, 2025 at 11:40 AM
Want to talk better, more productively when things get tough?
Practise in calm waters.
Everyday chats – What shall we have for dinner, how was your day – build rhythm and trust. They’re not fluff. They’re the groundwork.
So when storms come, you’re already fluent in something kind and steady.
Practise in calm waters.
Everyday chats – What shall we have for dinner, how was your day – build rhythm and trust. They’re not fluff. They’re the groundwork.
So when storms come, you’re already fluent in something kind and steady.
Sometimes we want intimacy and connection but don’t say so. We assume they should just know. But they’re not mind readers.
So try something like this: ‘I don’t want to argue – I just want us to feel a bit closer.’
That honesty can melt defences – and invite the connection you actually want.
So try something like this: ‘I don’t want to argue – I just want us to feel a bit closer.’
That honesty can melt defences – and invite the connection you actually want.
June 23, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Sometimes we want intimacy and connection but don’t say so. We assume they should just know. But they’re not mind readers.
So try something like this: ‘I don’t want to argue – I just want us to feel a bit closer.’
That honesty can melt defences – and invite the connection you actually want.
So try something like this: ‘I don’t want to argue – I just want us to feel a bit closer.’
That honesty can melt defences – and invite the connection you actually want.
Want to make a better connection? It can help not to start with the big stuff but something small, like ‘Got a minute?’
That check-in is like putting on your walking shoes – not for a hike, but a stroll. It says: I see you. I’m open. And from there, the conversation can become something more.
That check-in is like putting on your walking shoes – not for a hike, but a stroll. It says: I see you. I’m open. And from there, the conversation can become something more.
June 15, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Want to make a better connection? It can help not to start with the big stuff but something small, like ‘Got a minute?’
That check-in is like putting on your walking shoes – not for a hike, but a stroll. It says: I see you. I’m open. And from there, the conversation can become something more.
That check-in is like putting on your walking shoes – not for a hike, but a stroll. It says: I see you. I’m open. And from there, the conversation can become something more.
Reposted by Just One Thing
Blame sneaks in through phrases like ‘You make me feel…’ or ‘They’re the reason I can’t…’ It seems justified – but it traps us. Just notice it. No blame, no shame. That flicker of awareness says: I’m stepping out of the 'I blame you/them' loop – and into a place where real change can begin.
May 29, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Blame sneaks in through phrases like ‘You make me feel…’ or ‘They’re the reason I can’t…’ It seems justified – but it traps us. Just notice it. No blame, no shame. That flicker of awareness says: I’m stepping out of the 'I blame you/them' loop – and into a place where real change can begin.
Reposted by Just One Thing
Your sharp comeback? That’s *reacting*. Responsibility offers another path: *responding*. Add a breath, a pause – a beat before you speak. That small space is where you choose the kind of person you want to be, the kind of conversation you want to have. And it can be a whole lot more productive.
May 29, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Your sharp comeback? That’s *reacting*. Responsibility offers another path: *responding*. Add a breath, a pause – a beat before you speak. That small space is where you choose the kind of person you want to be, the kind of conversation you want to have. And it can be a whole lot more productive.
Reposted by Just One Thing
You're both stuck. You wait for them to go first. They wait for you. Someone has to begin – so why not you? It doesn’t mean giving in – it means leading with care. Start with something small – a real question, a kind tone, a warm check-in. That’s often all it takes to shift the entire dynamic.
May 29, 2025 at 3:36 PM
You're both stuck. You wait for them to go first. They wait for you. Someone has to begin – so why not you? It doesn’t mean giving in – it means leading with care. Start with something small – a real question, a kind tone, a warm check-in. That’s often all it takes to shift the entire dynamic.
Reposted by Just One Thing
When hurt or annoyed, we build a mental file of every perceived slight, every snub. It becomes a case against 'them'. But this courtroom mindset hardens the heart. So let go of your dossier – just long enough to ask yourself what else might be true. You might still disagree – but now you’re open.
May 30, 2025 at 1:48 PM
When hurt or annoyed, we build a mental file of every perceived slight, every snub. It becomes a case against 'them'. But this courtroom mindset hardens the heart. So let go of your dossier – just long enough to ask yourself what else might be true. You might still disagree – but now you’re open.
Reposted by Just One Thing
Sometimes your body knows before your brain does. Tight jaw, shallow breath, racing heart? That’s your system saying: ‘Something’s up. I sense a threat.’ You don’t need to fix it straight away – just notice. Pause. Breathe. That awareness helps you respond with care – instead of just reacting.
May 31, 2025 at 9:02 AM
Sometimes your body knows before your brain does. Tight jaw, shallow breath, racing heart? That’s your system saying: ‘Something’s up. I sense a threat.’ You don’t need to fix it straight away – just notice. Pause. Breathe. That awareness helps you respond with care – instead of just reacting.
Reposted by Just One Thing
We often say ‘You always...’ or 'You never...' or ‘Most people think...' but that just alienates. Instead, speak from your pov, using ‘I’ statements: 'That's not how I see it'; ‘I’m struggling to understand...' That’s not indulgent – it’s honest. Real connection starts when we speak for ourselves.
June 1, 2025 at 5:14 PM
We often say ‘You always...’ or 'You never...' or ‘Most people think...' but that just alienates. Instead, speak from your pov, using ‘I’ statements: 'That's not how I see it'; ‘I’m struggling to understand...' That’s not indulgent – it’s honest. Real connection starts when we speak for ourselves.
Reposted by Just One Thing
If you want to be heard, try making space for them. Ask how they are. Really listen. It’s not a trick – it’s trust-building. Two-way conversations start with curiosity. Let them speak, feed back your understanding, then share your truth. That’s how connection flows – side by side, not head vs head.
June 2, 2025 at 4:33 PM
If you want to be heard, try making space for them. Ask how they are. Really listen. It’s not a trick – it’s trust-building. Two-way conversations start with curiosity. Let them speak, feed back your understanding, then share your truth. That’s how connection flows – side by side, not head vs head.
Reposted by Just One Thing
Justifications can sound reasonable: ‘I only said that because…’ But even the best excuse avoids ownership. If you want to shift a conversation, drop the defence. Say: ‘That didn't come out right. Can I try again?’ It’s not weakness – it’s grounded strength that opens the door to something better.
June 8, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Justifications can sound reasonable: ‘I only said that because…’ But even the best excuse avoids ownership. If you want to shift a conversation, drop the defence. Say: ‘That didn't come out right. Can I try again?’ It’s not weakness – it’s grounded strength that opens the door to something better.
Reposted by Just One Thing
We all screw up. Say the wrong thing. Or too much. Hit ‘send’ too fast. It's in our DNA.
But what you do next matters most.
Try this: ‘That came out badly – can I try again?’ No self-punishment. Just reset. Show you care and keep going. That’s how relationships – and trust – grow and repair.
But what you do next matters most.
Try this: ‘That came out badly – can I try again?’ No self-punishment. Just reset. Show you care and keep going. That’s how relationships – and trust – grow and repair.
June 9, 2025 at 11:32 AM
We all screw up. Say the wrong thing. Or too much. Hit ‘send’ too fast. It's in our DNA.
But what you do next matters most.
Try this: ‘That came out badly – can I try again?’ No self-punishment. Just reset. Show you care and keep going. That’s how relationships – and trust – grow and repair.
But what you do next matters most.
Try this: ‘That came out badly – can I try again?’ No self-punishment. Just reset. Show you care and keep going. That’s how relationships – and trust – grow and repair.
OK, we're staying silent to avoid conflict But that silence not only keeps us stuck – it just internalises the conflict.
Say the thing – clearly, kindly, without drama: ‘That didn’t feel right.’ It’s not about being loud – it’s about being real. A few honest words can shift the whole conversation.
Say the thing – clearly, kindly, without drama: ‘That didn’t feel right.’ It’s not about being loud – it’s about being real. A few honest words can shift the whole conversation.
June 11, 2025 at 1:04 PM
OK, we're staying silent to avoid conflict But that silence not only keeps us stuck – it just internalises the conflict.
Say the thing – clearly, kindly, without drama: ‘That didn’t feel right.’ It’s not about being loud – it’s about being real. A few honest words can shift the whole conversation.
Say the thing – clearly, kindly, without drama: ‘That didn’t feel right.’ It’s not about being loud – it’s about being real. A few honest words can shift the whole conversation.
Before you respond, it might be worth asking what they want. ‘Do you want to explore solutions, or just talk?’ That small question can clear up mismatched expectations.
Some people think aloud. Some seek advice. Some just want to be heard.
Knowing which one matters can make all the difference.
Some people think aloud. Some seek advice. Some just want to be heard.
Knowing which one matters can make all the difference.
June 10, 2025 at 11:24 AM
Before you respond, it might be worth asking what they want. ‘Do you want to explore solutions, or just talk?’ That small question can clear up mismatched expectations.
Some people think aloud. Some seek advice. Some just want to be heard.
Knowing which one matters can make all the difference.
Some people think aloud. Some seek advice. Some just want to be heard.
Knowing which one matters can make all the difference.
Reposted by Just One Thing
It’s easy to think ‘It's all their fault.’ But when things are tangled, you're in there somewhere. Asking ‘What’s my part in this?’ isn’t about guilt – it’s about agency. It moves you from helplessness to power. And from there, something new can begin to take shape. Maybe, even, something better.
June 4, 2025 at 2:32 PM
It’s easy to think ‘It's all their fault.’ But when things are tangled, you're in there somewhere. Asking ‘What’s my part in this?’ isn’t about guilt – it’s about agency. It moves you from helplessness to power. And from there, something new can begin to take shape. Maybe, even, something better.
We all screw up. Say the wrong thing. Or too much. Hit ‘send’ too fast. It's in our DNA.
But what you do next matters most.
Try this: ‘That came out badly – can I try again?’ No self-punishment. Just reset. Show you care and keep going. That’s how relationships – and trust – grow and repair.
But what you do next matters most.
Try this: ‘That came out badly – can I try again?’ No self-punishment. Just reset. Show you care and keep going. That’s how relationships – and trust – grow and repair.
June 9, 2025 at 11:32 AM
We all screw up. Say the wrong thing. Or too much. Hit ‘send’ too fast. It's in our DNA.
But what you do next matters most.
Try this: ‘That came out badly – can I try again?’ No self-punishment. Just reset. Show you care and keep going. That’s how relationships – and trust – grow and repair.
But what you do next matters most.
Try this: ‘That came out badly – can I try again?’ No self-punishment. Just reset. Show you care and keep going. That’s how relationships – and trust – grow and repair.
Reposted by Just One Thing
If you're stuck in a disagreement, try asking: ‘What’s my real aim? Am I here to connect, or to be right? Am I seeking understanding – or just venting?'
When your intention is clear and kind, your message shifts. Even if the topic’s tricky, the heart of it will be easier to feel and receive.
When your intention is clear and kind, your message shifts. Even if the topic’s tricky, the heart of it will be easier to feel and receive.
June 7, 2025 at 11:47 AM
If you're stuck in a disagreement, try asking: ‘What’s my real aim? Am I here to connect, or to be right? Am I seeking understanding – or just venting?'
When your intention is clear and kind, your message shifts. Even if the topic’s tricky, the heart of it will be easier to feel and receive.
When your intention is clear and kind, your message shifts. Even if the topic’s tricky, the heart of it will be easier to feel and receive.
Reposted by Just One Thing
Ever want to connect but don’t know where to start? Begin with a real question. Not small talk – but small truth. ‘How’s your day going?’ or ‘What did you make of that?’ It doesn’t have to be deep – just genuine. Then stick to understanding. That’s how silence melts and trust can begin to grow.
June 5, 2025 at 7:54 AM
Ever want to connect but don’t know where to start? Begin with a real question. Not small talk – but small truth. ‘How’s your day going?’ or ‘What did you make of that?’ It doesn’t have to be deep – just genuine. Then stick to understanding. That’s how silence melts and trust can begin to grow.
Justifications can sound reasonable: ‘I only said that because…’ But even the best excuse avoids ownership. If you want to shift a conversation, drop the defence. Say: ‘That didn't come out right. Can I try again?’ It’s not weakness – it’s grounded strength that opens the door to something better.
June 8, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Justifications can sound reasonable: ‘I only said that because…’ But even the best excuse avoids ownership. If you want to shift a conversation, drop the defence. Say: ‘That didn't come out right. Can I try again?’ It’s not weakness – it’s grounded strength that opens the door to something better.
If you're stuck in a disagreement, try asking: ‘What’s my real aim? Am I here to connect, or to be right? Am I seeking understanding – or just venting?'
When your intention is clear and kind, your message shifts. Even if the topic’s tricky, the heart of it will be easier to feel and receive.
When your intention is clear and kind, your message shifts. Even if the topic’s tricky, the heart of it will be easier to feel and receive.
June 7, 2025 at 11:47 AM
If you're stuck in a disagreement, try asking: ‘What’s my real aim? Am I here to connect, or to be right? Am I seeking understanding – or just venting?'
When your intention is clear and kind, your message shifts. Even if the topic’s tricky, the heart of it will be easier to feel and receive.
When your intention is clear and kind, your message shifts. Even if the topic’s tricky, the heart of it will be easier to feel and receive.
Ever want to connect but don’t know where to start? Begin with a real question. Not small talk – but small truth. ‘How’s your day going?’ or ‘What did you make of that?’ It doesn’t have to be deep – just genuine. Then stick to understanding. That’s how silence melts and trust can begin to grow.
June 5, 2025 at 7:54 AM
Ever want to connect but don’t know where to start? Begin with a real question. Not small talk – but small truth. ‘How’s your day going?’ or ‘What did you make of that?’ It doesn’t have to be deep – just genuine. Then stick to understanding. That’s how silence melts and trust can begin to grow.
It’s easy to think ‘It's all their fault.’ But when things are tangled, you're in there somewhere. Asking ‘What’s my part in this?’ isn’t about guilt – it’s about agency. It moves you from helplessness to power. And from there, something new can begin to take shape. Maybe, even, something better.
June 4, 2025 at 2:32 PM
It’s easy to think ‘It's all their fault.’ But when things are tangled, you're in there somewhere. Asking ‘What’s my part in this?’ isn’t about guilt – it’s about agency. It moves you from helplessness to power. And from there, something new can begin to take shape. Maybe, even, something better.
If you want to be heard, try making space for them. Ask how they are. Really listen. It’s not a trick – it’s trust-building. Two-way conversations start with curiosity. Let them speak, feed back your understanding, then share your truth. That’s how connection flows – side by side, not head vs head.
June 2, 2025 at 4:33 PM
If you want to be heard, try making space for them. Ask how they are. Really listen. It’s not a trick – it’s trust-building. Two-way conversations start with curiosity. Let them speak, feed back your understanding, then share your truth. That’s how connection flows – side by side, not head vs head.
We often say ‘You always...’ or 'You never...' or ‘Most people think...' but that just alienates. Instead, speak from your pov, using ‘I’ statements: 'That's not how I see it'; ‘I’m struggling to understand...' That’s not indulgent – it’s honest. Real connection starts when we speak for ourselves.
June 1, 2025 at 5:14 PM
We often say ‘You always...’ or 'You never...' or ‘Most people think...' but that just alienates. Instead, speak from your pov, using ‘I’ statements: 'That's not how I see it'; ‘I’m struggling to understand...' That’s not indulgent – it’s honest. Real connection starts when we speak for ourselves.
Sometimes your body knows before your brain does. Tight jaw, shallow breath, racing heart? That’s your system saying: ‘Something’s up. I sense a threat.’ You don’t need to fix it straight away – just notice. Pause. Breathe. That awareness helps you respond with care – instead of just reacting.
May 31, 2025 at 9:02 AM
Sometimes your body knows before your brain does. Tight jaw, shallow breath, racing heart? That’s your system saying: ‘Something’s up. I sense a threat.’ You don’t need to fix it straight away – just notice. Pause. Breathe. That awareness helps you respond with care – instead of just reacting.