HELP

Thinking about Megatronus. (Tfp, pre-megatron) how he might’ve wanted to be a medic, once. Maybe he stole some sort of databases and research, hiding them away somewhere the mining overseers had yet to find. Maybe that’s why he’s such a formidable gladiator.

when it’s d-16 and orion and not orion and megatronus…💔

up and coming: megatronus’s and orion’s first meeting, and their last… featuring: soundwave and uh… either jazz or ratchet idk

Ok yes I’ve seen tf content I don’t vibe with at all ie infantilized mechs with pacifiers being sexualized but do I make that my business? No. I block/mute and go about my day. I don’t message them asking them to stop or that they’re going to hell 😭 it’s not my concern what strangers are up to

(TFP)

I can’t stop thinking about Optimus and his stupid little guy Megatron. Like, Optimus is so sad and solemn and I’m halfway sure he really just needs to be told he’s okay- but Megatron… he’s on crack half the entire series. Anywho, the conclusion that Megatron is a freak is apparent. +

like all my motivation is gone, like at drawing, painting, sketching, and even just having fun twirling a pencil. agghsh it’s a terrible, trembling terror of mine to become outdated and it’s so loud right now. I hope I feel better tomorrow, though. maybe I’ll even do a little Hannibal sketch ✍️

nothing’s worse then when your hands and mind keep working against each other. all I want is to draw freely and without fear like I once did again, and yet my body cannot envision nor comprehend anything like that again. there’s a bone-deep sadness there, something I think I’ll feel forever :(

I keep forgetting that its not socially acceptable to hit the most horrendous pose in my bed, my phone clutched in my hands, and start verbally sobbing at an fan-fiction author's choice of words

i’m starting to feel like writing is less of a thing I do because I love doing so- which I do, and I always will- and instead is more of a thing I do because I don’t know what to do otherwise. I can’t draw anymore, my fingers are too thick, I don’t have any other hobbies that I can rely on forever +

I think the most wonderful thing about writing- to me- is just how /much/ I do it. Is it good writing? Most likely not, but that’s subjective. I just can’t help but feel so pleased with myself every time I start typing or writing something in a notebook. That feeling is what gets me through days +

(Tfa) Meg getting his first taste of pure energon in millions of stellar cycles from eating out Op while he’s going through an expelling cycle 🤭

What's this? Is that... hang on, is that... a sneak peak of ch. 37 of ACL I see?? 👀

A little sneak of ACL ch. 36 that's coming together, slowly but surely

CW⚠️ panic attack

how does one confront a parent with needing to see a therapist or just needing someone to talk to that won’t tell them to shut up :/

It feels similar to how i would imagine my body shutting down and dragging my mind through a puddle of flimy mud and expecting it to perfectly function at it's best capacity.

got to see my wonderful, darling girlfriend and i’ve never been more in love 💗💗

bawh is how I feel. four letter word, mostly silent in french, and very silly sounding.

hello! i’m awkward and rush into things like it’s the only thing i do!
i go by ava or iva. i’m into transformers currently and hate capitalism :3
i try my best to be kind, and try to keep it honest.
mostly my online journal here!!