And just so many other things. As soon as Dillon and I talk about something or I watch something or think something, it comes up in some other way shortly thereafter. Bonkers.

As long as it’s not the uranium lamp, I’ll be okay lol

their lives and I guess I’ll just be grateful for that.

I’m not a real part of any of them. They all seem happy enough to see me when we do connect, but I’m never missed enough or wanted around enough to be asked to join them in just… doing life. Idk. I feel like none of that really makes sense.

I have my place as a weird piece of outspoken furniture in

their games, triumphs, and seeing how they’ve grown. But I’m never asked. Another group is still friends with people I’d rather not be friends with. Another group again, remains close, but I’m not included. It’s just weird that I can point to about 4 distinct groups of people I once belonged to and

other connections. But really I’ve just retreated more into my bubble with Dillon. So some of that is for sure on me. But the part that sucks is realizing that I am… not missed in those other circles. lol Like I’m just not. One group, they all have kids. I love kids. I would love to be there for

but I think that’s because of the drama I went through of feeling disconnected with one friend group during my grief, going to another, and being stabbed in the back/front/side by many of them and losing it almost completely. Never really found my footing since then. I’ve made new friends. Deepened