@itsabruno.bsky.social
April 6, 2025 at 11:51 PM
Do you think maybe it was called The 10 Files but someone that didn't know Roman numerals just said 'x' and no one corrected them?
April 5, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Do you think maybe it was called The 10 Files but someone that didn't know Roman numerals just said 'x' and no one corrected them?
It's called Outback Steakhouse but they let me eat inside.
March 11, 2025 at 12:17 AM
It's called Outback Steakhouse but they let me eat inside.
It's called Wendy's but they let pretty much anyone eat there.
March 11, 2025 at 12:15 AM
It's called Wendy's but they let pretty much anyone eat there.
Me: Sees an ant farm...
January 12, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Me: Sees an ant farm...
Resolution for the new year: To pronouncing "raspberry" more deliberately. I've been saying 'razberry' which is wrong.
Also, murder. Gonna lay off doing murder.
Also, murder. Gonna lay off doing murder.
January 2, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Resolution for the new year: To pronouncing "raspberry" more deliberately. I've been saying 'razberry' which is wrong.
Also, murder. Gonna lay off doing murder.
Also, murder. Gonna lay off doing murder.
I went to a rodeo just so I can say with honesty, "This ain't my first rodeo."
#RodeoLA
#RodeoLA
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
I went to a rodeo just so I can say with honesty, "This ain't my first rodeo."
#RodeoLA
#RodeoLA
"This one goes to Eleven"
- Me, playing hopscotch
#ExtremeSkorts
- Me, playing hopscotch
#ExtremeSkorts
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
"This one goes to Eleven"
- Me, playing hopscotch
#ExtremeSkorts
- Me, playing hopscotch
#ExtremeSkorts
Colloquially what we call a meth lab is actually short for methamphetamine Labrador.
#DontDoDogs
#DontDoDogs
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Colloquially what we call a meth lab is actually short for methamphetamine Labrador.
#DontDoDogs
#DontDoDogs
Me at Home Depot: "Damn, I guess that trap *is* pretty fly!"
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Me at Home Depot: "Damn, I guess that trap *is* pretty fly!"
My guitar has tone knobs in case I want the volume to stay the same but the sound to be worse.
#ToneDown
#ToneDown
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
My guitar has tone knobs in case I want the volume to stay the same but the sound to be worse.
#ToneDown
#ToneDown
What does Garfield do all weekend to end up looking so haggard on Monday mornings?
#catnipoholic
#catnipoholic
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
What does Garfield do all weekend to end up looking so haggard on Monday mornings?
#catnipoholic
#catnipoholic
I don't understand Mexican standoffs. It's like, "I'm gonna effin shoot this guy, ohp, he pulled a gun too so I'm gonna wait a while instead."
#mexicanstandoff0
#mexicanstandoff0
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
I don't understand Mexican standoffs. It's like, "I'm gonna effin shoot this guy, ohp, he pulled a gun too so I'm gonna wait a while instead."
#mexicanstandoff0
#mexicanstandoff0
Pond should be called Kevin Parker's Friends.
#pond
#pond
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Pond should be called Kevin Parker's Friends.
#pond
#pond
Imagine Groundhog Day but happens to be a day when you're in jail with diarrhea.
#RunOnSentence
#RunOnSentence
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Imagine Groundhog Day but happens to be a day when you're in jail with diarrhea.
#RunOnSentence
#RunOnSentence
Beyonce's fiance at a seancé.
#Fancé
#Fancé
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Beyonce's fiance at a seancé.
#Fancé
#Fancé
Kind of weird to think about it but being a doctor or a lawyer is an after-school job.
#PostGrad
#PostGrad
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Kind of weird to think about it but being a doctor or a lawyer is an after-school job.
#PostGrad
#PostGrad
I feel like withdrawals should be called without-drawals.
#drawaless
#drawaless
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
I feel like withdrawals should be called without-drawals.
#drawaless
#drawaless
Oh, I always though they were called "kink" cobras. "King" still sounds a little scary but not so much.
#KinkCobras
#KinkCobras
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Oh, I always though they were called "kink" cobras. "King" still sounds a little scary but not so much.
#KinkCobras
#KinkCobras
In our house we don't say "Happy New Year," we just say, "new year" and sigh a little.
#20twentytoo
#20twentytoo
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
In our house we don't say "Happy New Year," we just say, "new year" and sigh a little.
#20twentytoo
#20twentytoo
Who do you think is the greatest filmmaker? I'd say Kodak.
#YouFilmMe
#YouFilmMe
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Who do you think is the greatest filmmaker? I'd say Kodak.
#YouFilmMe
#YouFilmMe
How about like a Pez dispenser but for when you wanna munch on burger patties.
#refreshmeats
#refreshmeats
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
How about like a Pez dispenser but for when you wanna munch on burger patties.
#refreshmeats
#refreshmeats
Pornhub is Pubic Access Television.
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Pornhub is Pubic Access Television.
I poop like a clock...
A. With two hands.
B. On the wall.
#ChooseYourOwnPunchline
A. With two hands.
B. On the wall.
#ChooseYourOwnPunchline
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
I poop like a clock...
A. With two hands.
B. On the wall.
#ChooseYourOwnPunchline
A. With two hands.
B. On the wall.
#ChooseYourOwnPunchline
When you brush your teeth, particles can float in the air and infect your toilet so remember to always keep the toilet seat down.
#SomeSickShit
#SomeSickShit
March 28, 2025 at 6:42 PM
When you brush your teeth, particles can float in the air and infect your toilet so remember to always keep the toilet seat down.
#SomeSickShit
#SomeSickShit