I'm not sure the Dubai Sun is the best thing for my West Croydon hair extensions?

I'm such an insufferable fascist nob?

I'm seldom happy! Dead behind the eyes, a soulless vacuum of hate and greed.

My favourite Bee gee. The GB BG. (Yes, I know he's a twerp!).

Honestly, what's a girl to do?

Off down the Royal British Legion today in Chipping Norton, got my eye on the family circle biscuit selection in this weeks raffle. Don't like the bourbons much though, sounds a bit French doesn't it?

Might ask Allison Pearson if we can put the alleged Essex Police body camera footage on 'You've Been Framed'.

Can someone tell me how to do a sad face emoji on this lefty monstrosity? I'm constantly unhappy. Thanks.

Rita, Sued and Two-Bob too. Probably the most nightmarish threesome imaginable?

America has it right! Everyone knows that a Country isn't built upon Immigration!!!

Date night. Not happy!! Dick wants to go to play bingo in the Chipping Norton Town Hall, again! They turned Allison Pearson away, she didn't look anything like the picture on her ID card. Still not won the raffle and I'm starting to think it's down to the increasing persecution of the media!

Stop the persecution of Allison Pearson! Free the Telegraph One!

GREAT that Allison Pearson has had her considerable collar felt over an unidentified “racist” Tweet. Police initially struggled to identify Allison , due to her having a 60 year out of date profile picture on social media. Fuck around and find out eh?

I ❤️ Daddy Creosote and his fake tan. He reminds me of David Hasslehoff? Squeeeeeeee!