Starfish Who Can’t Think Something Witty
@irhottakes.bsky.social
Political science PhD student. World’s third best Bigfoot colonial governance simulation expert. Had to drag myself kicking and screaming to she/her, but she/her nonetheless.
Looks like it’s time to break out Old Reliable again.
November 13, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Looks like it’s time to break out Old Reliable again.
The fucked up thing is that this somehow helps with my imposter syndrome.
November 13, 2025 at 10:03 PM
The fucked up thing is that this somehow helps with my imposter syndrome.
I did it. I found the dumbest take on the internet.
November 13, 2025 at 9:11 PM
I did it. I found the dumbest take on the internet.
Remember this was when he had a more competent staff:
November 13, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Remember this was when he had a more competent staff:
STRATEGY-SHMATAGY. FEED ME FLANKERS. BALLOONS ARE FULL OF HOT AIR.
November 13, 2025 at 8:20 PM
STRATEGY-SHMATAGY. FEED ME FLANKERS. BALLOONS ARE FULL OF HOT AIR.
Slavic philosophy is my passion.
November 13, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Slavic philosophy is my passion.
“Hear that, Mister Prickles? We’re going to the White House! Well, what’s left of it, anyway…”
November 13, 2025 at 1:27 AM
“Hear that, Mister Prickles? We’re going to the White House! Well, what’s left of it, anyway…”
Incorrect! They even went to his funeral that time he died. (He got better.)
November 12, 2025 at 10:45 PM
Incorrect! They even went to his funeral that time he died. (He got better.)
“Am I a joke to you, Scott?”
November 12, 2025 at 10:37 PM
“Am I a joke to you, Scott?”
“It’s all true.”
November 12, 2025 at 8:58 PM
“It’s all true.”
If Sarah said this, I genuinely think one of you all would assassinate her.
November 12, 2025 at 3:54 AM
If Sarah said this, I genuinely think one of you all would assassinate her.
Image presented without comment.
November 12, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Image presented without comment.
Some might call it unprofessional to get drunk on the job, but the French are just going to nuke us for beating the West Germans and Americans anyway.
November 12, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Some might call it unprofessional to get drunk on the job, but the French are just going to nuke us for beating the West Germans and Americans anyway.
Tfw you‘re a Jewish buffer state between the armies of a divided Germany:
November 11, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Tfw you‘re a Jewish buffer state between the armies of a divided Germany:
It did however, make him look more powerful.
November 10, 2025 at 7:29 PM
It did however, make him look more powerful.
The USA and USSR when Canada and Czechoslovakia start fighting in the WARNO SOUTHAG campaigns.
November 9, 2025 at 8:43 PM
The USA and USSR when Canada and Czechoslovakia start fighting in the WARNO SOUTHAG campaigns.
AMERICAN BLACK HORSE REGIMENT HAS DISEASE OF CAPITALIST AND THINKS INVINCIBLE TANK OF DECADENT OVERCONSUMPTION AND BESPOKE PONYSONA WILL PREVENT HEROES OF WORKING CLASS FROM SIMPLY DRIVING AROUND THEM WHILE GRANCH OF SUKHOI DESIGN BUREAU BOMB THEM.
November 9, 2025 at 4:28 PM
AMERICAN BLACK HORSE REGIMENT HAS DISEASE OF CAPITALIST AND THINKS INVINCIBLE TANK OF DECADENT OVERCONSUMPTION AND BESPOKE PONYSONA WILL PREVENT HEROES OF WORKING CLASS FROM SIMPLY DRIVING AROUND THEM WHILE GRANCH OF SUKHOI DESIGN BUREAU BOMB THEM.
"Congratulations, Comrade General. You achieved every objective we set for you and crushed NATO. Without you, our logistics would have entirely collapsed. We're still counting that as a draw though."
This game really makes you feel like a peon of incomprehensible communist bureaucracy.
This game really makes you feel like a peon of incomprehensible communist bureaucracy.
November 9, 2025 at 12:41 AM
"Congratulations, Comrade General. You achieved every objective we set for you and crushed NATO. Without you, our logistics would have entirely collapsed. We're still counting that as a draw though."
This game really makes you feel like a peon of incomprehensible communist bureaucracy.
This game really makes you feel like a peon of incomprehensible communist bureaucracy.
>Take comically huge casualties to meet an arbitrary deadline
>leave NATO forces in perfect position for counterattack
>be feted as a genius for overextending to meet the schedule
This game is basically an office politics simulator disguised as a wargame.
>leave NATO forces in perfect position for counterattack
>be feted as a genius for overextending to meet the schedule
This game is basically an office politics simulator disguised as a wargame.
November 8, 2025 at 11:22 PM
>Take comically huge casualties to meet an arbitrary deadline
>leave NATO forces in perfect position for counterattack
>be feted as a genius for overextending to meet the schedule
This game is basically an office politics simulator disguised as a wargame.
>leave NATO forces in perfect position for counterattack
>be feted as a genius for overextending to meet the schedule
This game is basically an office politics simulator disguised as a wargame.
>Take every single objective
>It's a draw because you didn't meet the arbitrary quota
10/10, authentic military simulator
>It's a draw because you didn't meet the arbitrary quota
10/10, authentic military simulator
November 8, 2025 at 8:25 PM
>Take every single objective
>It's a draw because you didn't meet the arbitrary quota
10/10, authentic military simulator
>It's a draw because you didn't meet the arbitrary quota
10/10, authentic military simulator
“Ahead of you on the road, you see an old man with a long gray beard and white robes leaning on a staff…”
The players, thinking it’s Saruman again:
The players, thinking it’s Saruman again:
November 8, 2025 at 2:15 PM
“Ahead of you on the road, you see an old man with a long gray beard and white robes leaning on a staff…”
The players, thinking it’s Saruman again:
The players, thinking it’s Saruman again:
The serving girl comes back looking like this two years later and is promptly fired for dress code violations and tardiness.
November 8, 2025 at 2:01 PM
The serving girl comes back looking like this two years later and is promptly fired for dress code violations and tardiness.
Ukrainian high command hastily responds to a VDV incursion, 2022
November 8, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Ukrainian high command hastily responds to a VDV incursion, 2022