@iretrugrade.bsky.social
Whodeguy famously came to grief at the sod when he asked me who my business partner Rozy was, indelicately pinching her on the bum. I can still see him flying across the floor at her riposte. But when he got up and apologised profusely to her they became good mates ever since.
January 2, 2026 at 3:34 PM
Whodeguy famously came to grief at the sod when he asked me who my business partner Rozy was, indelicately pinching her on the bum. I can still see him flying across the floor at her riposte. But when he got up and apologised profusely to her they became good mates ever since.
'At 'The Sod in Exile's, Skurt pronounces, 'You meet the salt of the Earth.' 'Now you're talkin'.' says Whodeguy, so-called for his habit of checking out new faces, male or female, that he encounters across the two establishments.
January 2, 2026 at 3:28 PM
'At 'The Sod in Exile's, Skurt pronounces, 'You meet the salt of the Earth.' 'Now you're talkin'.' says Whodeguy, so-called for his habit of checking out new faces, male or female, that he encounters across the two establishments.
Skurt McGurk maintains that if you go clubbing at 'The Salowomander' every week you eventually meet everyone who is anyone in The City of Fex. 'What about 'The Sod'? Queries his buddy, Whodeguy Rizzo indignantly.
January 2, 2026 at 3:24 PM
Skurt McGurk maintains that if you go clubbing at 'The Salowomander' every week you eventually meet everyone who is anyone in The City of Fex. 'What about 'The Sod'? Queries his buddy, Whodeguy Rizzo indignantly.
'Sam Hogan?' some wit risks slyly and is quickly silenced with a glare. 'Samogon,' Long Match snarls, 'is home brewed vodka to stir your innermost. Next time I'm up there I'll bring down a crate to test you all.'
November 15, 2025 at 1:58 PM
'Sam Hogan?' some wit risks slyly and is quickly silenced with a glare. 'Samogon,' Long Match snarls, 'is home brewed vodka to stir your innermost. Next time I'm up there I'll bring down a crate to test you all.'
Long Match Greim, so known from the time he burnt himself with a standard match and never used short matches again, is not a man to be trifled with. 'I'm fed up hearing about Milo Fluffe and his Irish poitin. My family in the Carpathians have been making samogon for centuries.'
November 15, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Long Match Greim, so known from the time he burnt himself with a standard match and never used short matches again, is not a man to be trifled with. 'I'm fed up hearing about Milo Fluffe and his Irish poitin. My family in the Carpathians have been making samogon for centuries.'
'At all, at all, is an Irishism I picked up at 'The Sod'. They tell me there that I have a natural fetch for the blather. Buddy the guv'nor tells me that Ireland had not one but two Jewish Lord Mayors of Dublin. 'The first was Leopold Bloom, I forget the second.'
November 15, 2025 at 1:49 PM
'At all, at all, is an Irishism I picked up at 'The Sod'. They tell me there that I have a natural fetch for the blather. Buddy the guv'nor tells me that Ireland had not one but two Jewish Lord Mayors of Dublin. 'The first was Leopold Bloom, I forget the second.'
When Milo came back from AWOL it was usually with a case or two of best poitin from the Hochfelz, a couple of bottles of which always landed on Oberstleutnant Biermann's desk by way of a penance when the miscreant was brought before him.
November 14, 2025 at 4:56 PM
When Milo came back from AWOL it was usually with a case or two of best poitin from the Hochfelz, a couple of bottles of which always landed on Oberstleutnant Biermann's desk by way of a penance when the miscreant was brought before him.
When I served with him in the Fex Militia Milo Fluffe went AWOL so many times he was known as Furlough Fluffy. And he always got away with it cos his folk originally came from the West of Ireland from whence they brought with them the skills of making poitin.
November 14, 2025 at 4:51 PM
When I served with him in the Fex Militia Milo Fluffe went AWOL so many times he was known as Furlough Fluffy. And he always got away with it cos his folk originally came from the West of Ireland from whence they brought with them the skills of making poitin.
'The Sod' aka 'The Sod in Exile' is the place to go to soak up the latest gossip on The Free Boweleros, a loose living exhalation of high-fliers. All you have to do is sup a litre of the guv'nor Buddy Brolligan's best and listen. Right now, Trigger Sullivan is foaming in his West Cork accent.
November 13, 2025 at 2:46 PM
'The Sod' aka 'The Sod in Exile' is the place to go to soak up the latest gossip on The Free Boweleros, a loose living exhalation of high-fliers. All you have to do is sup a litre of the guv'nor Buddy Brolligan's best and listen. Right now, Trigger Sullivan is foaming in his West Cork accent.
'Retru! Just the man we want to see', Marmalade Freddi the Gigolo and Mila De Locks, the Gay Hussar, shout as I belly up to the bar at The Sod.
November 13, 2025 at 2:32 PM
'Retru! Just the man we want to see', Marmalade Freddi the Gigolo and Mila De Locks, the Gay Hussar, shout as I belly up to the bar at The Sod.
Long time since I seen Little Plops Novotny sloughing in despond down at 'The Sod in Exile'. 'What's up?' I asked. 'What isn't fuckin' up?!' he snarls. I leave it at that.
November 5, 2025 at 3:46 PM
Long time since I seen Little Plops Novotny sloughing in despond down at 'The Sod in Exile'. 'What's up?' I asked. 'What isn't fuckin' up?!' he snarls. I leave it at that.
'Buddy,' Milo Fluffe calls, 'Do you know a Tammy Solusin?' 'Nope. But I know a Jammy Jam,' the guvnor replies.
October 5, 2025 at 12:36 PM
'Buddy,' Milo Fluffe calls, 'Do you know a Tammy Solusin?' 'Nope. But I know a Jammy Jam,' the guvnor replies.
'That's old Guano,' my neighbour at the bar, Hotfoot Lanigan, tells me. 'You should have seen him earlier, hammering out a bolero with Nudie Nelligan. Torchy!' 'Ravel?' I enquire. 'Amen to that!' smiles Hotfoot.
September 25, 2025 at 4:35 PM
'That's old Guano,' my neighbour at the bar, Hotfoot Lanigan, tells me. 'You should have seen him earlier, hammering out a bolero with Nudie Nelligan. Torchy!' 'Ravel?' I enquire. 'Amen to that!' smiles Hotfoot.
I belly up to the bar of a rammed Salawomander night club. 'Gimme that old soft stool, I said that old soft stool...' I hear. I turn around and, sure enough, there is Guano La Trine showcasing his latest shtick on the small dancefloor.
September 25, 2025 at 4:31 PM
I belly up to the bar of a rammed Salawomander night club. 'Gimme that old soft stool, I said that old soft stool...' I hear. I turn around and, sure enough, there is Guano La Trine showcasing his latest shtick on the small dancefloor.
'Hey, Retro,' Milo Fluffe calls out to me from the end of the long bar, 'Do you know a mec called Tam Sulosin? 'Nope, but Blinko has a mate called Dapper Glifosin. He might know.'
September 15, 2025 at 1:19 PM
'Hey, Retro,' Milo Fluffe calls out to me from the end of the long bar, 'Do you know a mec called Tam Sulosin? 'Nope, but Blinko has a mate called Dapper Glifosin. He might know.'
Zola is dripping with jewels and spangles and wearing the latest fashion. Bibi slopes over to me and hands me the 500 curios he has been owing me for an age. ' And here's an extra thou to cover the interest.' My lucky day.
September 13, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Zola is dripping with jewels and spangles and wearing the latest fashion. Bibi slopes over to me and hands me the 500 curios he has been owing me for an age. ' And here's an extra thou to cover the interest.' My lucky day.
The Lottery winner Bibi Beo barrels into 'The Sod in Exile' exuberantly with Zole Dex dangling on his arm and calls out, 'The drinks are on me'. We career to the bar.
September 13, 2025 at 1:18 PM
The Lottery winner Bibi Beo barrels into 'The Sod in Exile' exuberantly with Zole Dex dangling on his arm and calls out, 'The drinks are on me'. We career to the bar.
I find Little Plops Novotny, the Secretary of The Wholly Free Boweleros, sloughing in despond at 'The Sod' 'What's up?' I ask. 'What's up? What isn't fuckin' up?' he snarls, 'The Festival of Turds in Gyor was a washout. The Magyars turned the hoses on us. Wasn't even the Growls.'
September 11, 2025 at 2:26 PM
I find Little Plops Novotny, the Secretary of The Wholly Free Boweleros, sloughing in despond at 'The Sod' 'What's up?' I ask. 'What's up? What isn't fuckin' up?' he snarls, 'The Festival of Turds in Gyor was a washout. The Magyars turned the hoses on us. Wasn't even the Growls.'
Yesman Chancey Vancey has no morals.
September 6, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Yesman Chancey Vancey has no morals.
The Humble Trumpie is the newest satirium in Cybele in downtown Fex. As I enter, Sveitus Sveitii, the Tyrrhenian stand-up is abbreviating his set. 'Bring on Chutzpah Maguire,' I bawl. Chutzpah opens a new seam of wit. 'if you ever cross the border into Hungary...' I grin.
September 4, 2025 at 3:14 PM
The Humble Trumpie is the newest satirium in Cybele in downtown Fex. As I enter, Sveitus Sveitii, the Tyrrhenian stand-up is abbreviating his set. 'Bring on Chutzpah Maguire,' I bawl. Chutzpah opens a new seam of wit. 'if you ever cross the border into Hungary...' I grin.
I don't have to turn around at 'The Sod' to know it's Johnny Besoin from Marseille via Monalaur. 'Bring me boiled beef and cabbage with a rattle of raw cashoos and a bottle of Bandol Rouge,' he bawls at Buddy.
September 3, 2025 at 12:16 PM
I don't have to turn around at 'The Sod' to know it's Johnny Besoin from Marseille via Monalaur. 'Bring me boiled beef and cabbage with a rattle of raw cashoos and a bottle of Bandol Rouge,' he bawls at Buddy.
'You know, Rasher, Baloney is the lowest form of gobshite, and you know why? It's twaddle with tits on. I refer you to Trumpet, Farrago the Talking Arse, and their mouthpieces, male and female.
August 27, 2025 at 3:32 PM
'You know, Rasher, Baloney is the lowest form of gobshite, and you know why? It's twaddle with tits on. I refer you to Trumpet, Farrago the Talking Arse, and their mouthpieces, male and female.
Putin chats up Trumpet - 'I know you're ashamed your mother was a domestic from the Highlands. Don't be. In the Soviet Union during WW2 our children extolled our babushkas. Come to the Altai with me. We hunt, shoot and fish the lakes. We can have women too. IF we want women.'
August 27, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Putin chats up Trumpet - 'I know you're ashamed your mother was a domestic from the Highlands. Don't be. In the Soviet Union during WW2 our children extolled our babushkas. Come to the Altai with me. We hunt, shoot and fish the lakes. We can have women too. IF we want women.'
Up on stage Mynt Juleppe, the Flemish stand-up, is into his Temptation of Christ shtick. ' By now' he says, 'Satan is beginning to lose his cool...'
August 26, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Up on stage Mynt Juleppe, the Flemish stand-up, is into his Temptation of Christ shtick. ' By now' he says, 'Satan is beginning to lose his cool...'
'Ah, Jimmy Roselli!' Blinko smiles, 'Heard him in Chicago before he made a name for himself.' 'I never knew you were in Chicago?' I query, never surprised by my old friend.' Not long after WW2. It was all hush hush stuff to do with postwar politics.'
August 26, 2025 at 5:37 PM
'Ah, Jimmy Roselli!' Blinko smiles, 'Heard him in Chicago before he made a name for himself.' 'I never knew you were in Chicago?' I query, never surprised by my old friend.' Not long after WW2. It was all hush hush stuff to do with postwar politics.'