If you ask me, NOBODY should have the powers of the eldritch God Cthulhu, ESPECIALLY not some filthy GOBLIN.

Listen, I'm no leprechaun supporter. But

oh yeah? well, next time you need a pair of 10-foot arms, don't you DARE come running to me! we're OVER!

attempted murder survivor vs. 10,000,000 murderers. can they find common ground?

Unmasks Frankenweenie: "Waffle house water???"

the courts have ruled the epstein files "just a prank bro" and "chill, what are you, a liberal or something? you a fucking cop? didn't think so, get off my ass about it."

this just in: 15 men who went missing after plane crash 5 years ago found on island holding hands and saying kind words to each other. professionals chose to leave them there, as they are "probably better off". after conducting a poll, 97.2% of Oklahomans strongly agree with this decision.

Fun fact: nobody has any fucking clue what Kevin Shields is even talking about

when given the choice, each of the forty participants overwhelmingly chose to administer controlled shocks to babies rather than dogs. when asked why, they explained that the reasoning behind their choice was that babies were little bitches who could "stand to take a few shocks". each one said this.