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insane-foliage.bsky.social
Ruth | Temporal_discounting
@insane-foliage.bsky.social
640 followers 480 following 4.4K posts
Ruth | she/her | just here for OFMD | temporal-discounting on tumblr | Temporal_discounting on AO3

Banner by @scribophile.bsky.social incl. Photos by @sherlockig (tumblr)
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insane-foliage.bsky.social
For #wipwednesday here's a snippet from my upcoming #FallFrontFriday festival fic.

We're taking a tour of season 1 via the medium of wanks. This is from chapter 1, set post ep2. Stede is enjoying some alone time with a bodice ripper...
Stede's brow furrows. He's never really understood the appeal of kissing in the french way. Seems remarkably unsanitary, really. It's certainly not something that he and Mary ever deigned to explore. He shrugs, refocusing once more on the page. Captain Daniels divests himself of his shirt, eliciting a gasp from Eliza. Stede palms himself through his breeches; his silk-clad toes curl as he rubs his hardness. Eliza's undergarments fall to the floor, exposing her breasts and their "rosy pink buds." Stede fumbles to turn the page with one hand, the other currently preoccupied with opening the fastenings of his fall front. He grunts in exasperation as the book slips from his hand and hits the floor with a thud. Shit. Well, at least now he has two hands available to tackle what suddenly feels like far too many fucking buttons. He makes quick work of freeing his arousal from the confines of his breeches, folding the flap of fabric away from his erection, before retrieving the book and hurriedly finding his place again.
November 19, 2025 at 1:37 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
Ooh, I have a cheeky 'spend'. This is shortly after Ed learns that The Gentleman Pirate told him he could suck eggs in hell btw...

#WIPSnips
It doesn't take long. Ed comes into his fist with a stifled grunt. The muscles of his belly twitch as the warmth of his own spend splatters across the strip of exposed skin.
November 17, 2025 at 1:32 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
They did 😭😭😭

I may also have been having Thoughts about this lately
Thankfully, Stede had caught hold of his senses before he had done something truly stupid. They had bid each other goodnight and parted ways, with Stede's dignity mercifully in tact. Only… when Stede had turned to take one last look at his friend, he had done the same, hadn't he? Their eyes had caught across the deck, and the moonlight had sparkled in Ed's hair, and in another universe maybe…
November 14, 2025 at 10:18 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
The scream I scrumpt! (I think I scared the postman...)

They are so, so beautiful. Thank you to the #ywmlp team and all of the artists. We are so lucky to have you 💖💖💖
November 14, 2025 at 12:52 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
She was an icon in the 90s and she is an icon now. I mean, look at these lyrics - legendary behaviour!
An artist is an artist when an artist is an artist And she don't stop being an artist 'cause she's old, you know? She don't roll down her sleeves Pick up her Zimmer frame and leaves Put down her pen, put on a hat Because of menopause
November 12, 2025 at 5:30 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
Cracking out the first DVD I ever bought to watch with the eldest kiddo tonight

(And yes, the snubbing of Alex Winter on this cover is criminal)
A photograph of my ancient DVD of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
November 8, 2025 at 6:14 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
How does one cope with the post #theweecon blues? Like this
A photograph of my telly, showing the pilot episode of the hit TV show Our Flag Means Death. In this particular frame, Stede is in his iconic real suit, about to give his inspirational speech to the crew of the Revenge
November 5, 2025 at 10:21 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
I have a few of these in my current wip.

In this scene, set after 1x04, Ed is remembering (and maybe embellishing upon) the clothes swap while he enjoys a bit of alone time

#wipwednesday #ofmdfic #ofmdnsfw
Fuck it. It's Ed's fantasy. For the next few minutes, he's gonna let himself believe that Stede would have welcomed his touch. Perhaps he'd even pressed into it. Yeah, maybe Stede's ass had made contact with Ed's groin, a barely audible sigh of "Ed" sneaking out of his throat. And maybe Ed had snaked his hand around Stede's hip, over the flesh of his belly (the bandages wrapped around Stede's middle appear to have fucked off, but Ed's not gonna get hung up on little details like that right now), fingers burying themselves in Stede's happy trail. "You want this?" Ed had murmured into Stede's ear, voice low and filled with promise. "Yes," Stede had whined, and that had been all the permission Ed had needed to slide his hand lower. He had groaned as he had discovered Stede's cock, hard for him, swaddled in layers of amber silk. He got a good feel for the shape of it, knew quickly that it was gonna feel so fucking good in his hand. Knew that it would feel even better in his throat, or buried deep in his ass.
November 5, 2025 at 5:29 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
And they lie around posing like pinup models. Like, are these guys for real?
A kangaroo just lying there looking weirdly seductive
November 3, 2025 at 3:45 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
I know for sure there's some of you #theweecon folks I haven't met yet, so here is today's fit. If you see me, please come say hi 💖
A photograph of me in my wee con day 3 outfit. I am wearing a jumper with a brightly coloured rainbow on the front, skinny jeans, and boots patterned with flowers
November 2, 2025 at 9:06 AM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
@petrichorca.bsky.social check out this questionable bathroom choice in my hotel...
October 31, 2025 at 6:40 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
Oh, I can play this week! And to celebrate, here's a whole paragraph

#ficwip #nsfw
He strokes his half-hard cock, trying to coax himself back to fullness. He would quite like to enjoy an orgasm, after all. Seems like a lot of faff for very little reward, otherwise.
October 29, 2025 at 6:20 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
A snip from a new thing I've started noodling on, which is kind of a 'season 1, but retold from via the medium of a series of wanks'

This moment takes place around s1e2. Stede is enjoying a smutty novel and a bit of alone time...

#ofmdnsfw #wipwednesday
He coats his right hand in oil, careful to keep his left hand clean so that he doesn't leave greasy fingerprints across the pages of the book, which he picks up once more. He strokes himself in earnest, the slide now perfect. Eliza is crying out for Captain Flint to take her, to make love to her. Stede's hand speeds up as Captain Flint presses into her, his own eyelids fluttering closed. He allows the book to fall from his hands, this time not caring where or how it falls. He has no intention to retrieve it. His thoughts drift to Captain Flint, to the flex of his biceps as he holds himself above Eliza. What does she see as she gazes up at him? Coarse chest hair, glistening with sweat? Does he look upon her with kindness as he fills her? Stede twists his wrist, groaning with the pleasure of it. Does Captain Flint make such sounds as he takes his own pleasure in his lover? Does it rumble through him, deep and low? Can Eliza feel the vibrations of it in her own body?
October 29, 2025 at 2:53 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
I'll take any chance to show off my bird robe ink
A photograph of a woman's shoulder with a large tattoo inspired by the bird robe / depression robe from Our Flag Means Death
October 27, 2025 at 7:36 AM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
Breaking the seal

Ed and Stede try something new. There's just one problem. Ed can't seem to keep it together...

Explicit | innkeepers era | Ed/Stede | 8k

archiveofourown.org/works/72682556
Screenshotted text. Dickfuck, no. He squeezes his eyes shut. He needs to get himself the fuck under control. Knots. He'll think about knots. Boring, mundane, deeply unsexy knots. He pulls back. Cleat hitch. Pushes in. Bowline knot. Stede groans, and the timbre of it sends an arc of pleasure down Ed's spine, travelling through him with the violence of a lightning strike. He gets in a few more thrusts (Anchor hitch. Carrick bend. Chain splice), keeping it together by sheer force of will. He opens his eyes and finds his gaze locked with Stede's. Fatal fucking error; Stede's eyes bore into him, flaying him open, instantly throwing him off his game. A wave of pleasure crashes over him. His balls draw up tight. Fuck. His hips falter. Shit! Fucking clove hitch, heaving line knot, figure EIGHT — He comes. Barely half a dozen thrusts, and he fucking comes. Tags for Breaking the Seal by temporal-discounting. Relationship Ed/Stede. Additional tags: post-canon, innkeepers era, established relationship, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, talking it through as a crew, bottom Stede, top Ed, first time bottoming, anal fingering, anal sex, rimming, just lots of butt stuff, like wall to wall butt stuff, cuddling and snuggling, brief mention of past Stede/Mary, Stede loves Ed, Ed loves Stede, podfic welcome
October 25, 2025 at 5:12 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
She's here! The premature ejaculation fic you didn't know you needed in your life.

Innkeepers era | Ed/Stede | Explicit | 8.5k words.

Written for the "accidental bodily function" prompt.

archiveofourown.org/works/72682556

#OFMDWhoopsWeekend #OFMDFic #OFMDnsfw
Screenshotted summary of "Breaking the seal" by Temporal_discounting. The summary reads: Dickfuck, no. Ed squeezes his eyes shut. He needs to get himself the fuck under control. Knots. He'll think about knots. Boring, mundane, deeply unsexy knots. He pulls back. Cleat hitch. Pushes in. Bowline knot. He gets in a few more thrusts (Anchor hitch. Carrick bend. Chain splice), keeping it together by sheer force of will. A wave of pleasure crashes over him. His balls draw up tight. Fuck. His hips falter. Shit! Fucking clove hitch, heaving line knot, figure EIGHT — He comes. Barely half a dozen thrusts, and he fucking comes. Written for Whoops Weekend, for the 'accidental bodily function' prompt. Screenshot of the tags for "Breaking the seal" by Temporal_discounting. Rating is Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply, Relationship is Ed/Stede, Additional tags include post-canon, innkeepers era, established relationship, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, talking it through as a crew, bottom Stede, top Ed, First time bottoming, anal fingering, anal ses, rimming, just lots of butt stugg, like wall to wall butt stuff, cuddling & snuggling, brief mention of past Stede/Mary, Stede Bonnet loves Edward Teach, Edward Teach loves Stede Bonnet, podfic welcome
October 18, 2025 at 2:20 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
Whenever I feel myself slipping into despair about the state of the world, I remember that there are people out there spreading joy by crocheting hats for post boxes. And then things don't seem quite so bad.
A photograph of a crocheted post box hat featuring two very cute ghosts and a sweet little pumpkin
October 15, 2025 at 8:30 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
One last #wipwednesday snip before I let this loose for #ofmdwhoopsweekend

Cw: premature ejaculation
The reaction of Ed's body is instantaneous and damned near catastrophic. A sharp bolt of pressure hits him in the base of his spine. His stomach lurches and his balls draw up tight. No. Absolutely fucking not! He clamps a hand around the base of his cock in an effort to stem the orgasm threatening to tear through him. It helps a little, though he still feels as if he's teetering on the edge of a cliff; one stiff gust of wind will be enough to tip him into free-fall. Tears of frustration spring to Ed's eyes unbidden as he pulls out. Perhaps he can play it off as teasing, make a thing out of it. It could be sexy, maybe? He squeezes his eyes closed and bites down on his tongue, hoping that the pain will stave off the inevitable. It's no good, though. He's no longer teetering on that cliff edge. He's suspended in mid air, feet flailing against nothing, already well past the point of no return.
October 15, 2025 at 5:57 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
Lobbing a bottle of farts into the sea, hoping they find their way to you in time...
October 9, 2025 at 3:09 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
Meetcute. Ed and Stede are both visiting the aquarium and fall head over heels for each other while giggling like schoolboys at Richard the granulated starfish
A photograph of a granulated starfish, with the caption 'Richard is getting huge'. Its tentacles (legs?) look very much like dicks
October 7, 2025 at 9:16 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
Ok so I found a screenshot that I took on 31st July (pic on left). Took a new screenshot of the same passage (right.) there's a whole extra paragraph in there. So definitely smaller
October 7, 2025 at 7:10 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
I've shared an earlier draft of this before, but oh well.

Her, enjoy some premature ejaculation, if that's your thing...
Dickfuck, no. He squeezes his eyes shut. He needs to get himself the fuck under control. Knots. He'll think about knots. Boring, deeply unsexy knots. He pulls back. Cleat hitch. Pushes in. Bowline knot. Stede groans, and the timbre of it sends an arc of pleasure down Ed's spine, travelling through him with the violence of a lightning strike. He gets in a few more thrusts (Anchor hitch. Carrick bend. Chain splice), keeping it together by sheer force of will. He opens his eyes and finds his gaze locked with Stede's. Fatal fucking error; Stede's eyes bore into him, flaying him open, instantly throwing him off his game. A wave of pleasure crashes over him. His balls draw up tight. Fuck. His hips falter. Shit! Fucking clove hitch, heaving line knot, figure EIGHT — He comes. Barely half a dozen thrusts, and he fucking comes. He tries to keep going, managing to eke out a few more pathetic, stuttering thrusts. But it's no good. He can already feel himself going soft.
October 3, 2025 at 3:14 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
Let the world around us just fall apart

Ed and Stede work together to repair the teeny tiny Revenge.

Teen | 2.8k words | Ed/Stede | Season 2 canon compliant

#OFMDFic

archiveofourown.org/works/71253786
A screenshot of the summary of Let the world around us just fall apart by Temporal_discounting. It reads "Summary: "There we go. That's it, little fella. Let's get you all patched up, shall we?" Ed coos softly, as he manoeuvres the teeny tiny mizzenmast into position. Working at this scale, every minuscule tremor of his hand seems to be magnified ten-fold. He exhales slowly to steady his hand, then carefully lines up the splintered mast with the base. Ed and Stede work together to repair the teeny tiny Revenge. Set in a sort of nebulous time in between episodes 5 and 6 of Season 2." Screenshot of the tags. Rating: Teen. No archive warnings apply. Ed/Stede. Additional tags: Canon Compliant, Season 2, Post-Episode: s02e05 The Curse of the Seafaring Life, probation era, in a world where Ed's probation lasted longer than a day, taking it slow, Fluff, fixing things as a metaphor for repairing a relationship, talking it through as a crew, Stede Bonnet Loves Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Blackbeard | Edward Teach Loves Stede Bonnet, Podfic Available
October 1, 2025 at 11:30 AM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
Post you from a different era.

Where did this kid go?
September 29, 2025 at 9:43 PM
insane-foliage.bsky.social
What's your sign?
A sign that reads 'certified to accommodate 20 seamen'
September 28, 2025 at 2:25 PM