i’m not even upset with where i’m at in my own personal life. but it’s the social interactions of non-queer ppl who make me feel like i need to fit this status-quo in order to be acknowledged in the right way.

watched it back in like 2015(?) with my sister. don’t remember a whole lot abt it, but it was a throwback for me, the first time i saw you mention it on vent

i never know if my thoughts are valid, bc it’s been so long like this. so i wind up deleting them. but there used to be a time when i didn’t dread possibly upsetting someone just bc my own mental health was in the gutter and couldn’t go the extra mile anymore.

and when i slip up? when the weight of everything becomes too much and i can’t be what you sculpted? i’m told i’m a bad person, and then feel like what i feel isn’t valid; so i just need to suck it up and be better—to be this version of me that is barely there.

don’t even say i haven’t tried to talk. i talked about what’s been happening, and you comment on it for a sec then move on to smth else like im just not going to stress abt the previous thing.

pizza sounded so good though 🥲

i don’t think my stomach fully recovered from the last time i was sick. i haven’t had a proper appetite since, and it’s been really easy to make myself feel “sick to my stomach” if i eat past my limit.

i also was just watching this too omg