if I'm not around then there's more faces in the world that wont wear a smile, if i'm not around there's less creativity for the world to enjoy, if i'm not around then I wont be able to see the impact my existence made on those around me, I have to persevere for the good of the world and for me !!

lowkey i try my best to keep pace with them but every breath I take has to fill my lungs or else I feel out of sync with my body but when I rush the breath it doesn't feel relaxing LOLZ, same with doctors appointments when they check my lungs with their stethoscope

nvm oomf is pissing me off i want to be violent

guh i think i tuckered myself out and now i just want to cry and rot

i don't deserve a fucking thing, no one cares for me as a person they just want shit out of me, I knew i shouldn't have done this fuckass social media shit it's all fake isn't it

"hey can you please give me better attention when i send stuff because saying "it's cute" to a drawing I spent half of my waking day on feels like getting a bread crumb as a reward even though I give you an entire feast as a compliment" i think i'm asking for too much i think i'm a horrible person

i'm so sick of it am I doing too much or am I doing too little do i need to do more or should i find different people, maybe I have to talk to them but that's such a weird conversation

i put so much care and effort into making people feel good and confident but whenever I try to send stuff I make I barely even get a tenth of the energy I give them whenever they make anything like i'm sorry it's not porn or Adri with her fucking tits out i'm a human fucking being not a porn machine

i hate whenever i put so much care and thiought into a compliment and i make sure to point out stuff I like and details i notice in other peoples stuff but when i share my stuff people are like "that's cute" like i didn't fucking spend 7 hours of my life making this shit maybe i'm the problem fmsrgl

start talking about some random unrelated shit after I just poured my heart out thinking "hey this means alot to me and I wanted to share this" like i'm sorry i'm not interesting for you i guess maybe I should jump off that fucking bridge and freeze to death maybe that'll be interesting for you

walk away and forget me until you want entertainment again I want someone to care and to really understan me or maybe i'm being selfish and i'm asking for too much i want a relationbshio where i can yap and have someone want to know more rather than just a "that's cool" or a heart react then you

i feel bad for referring to the people who genuinely like my stuff as like, art beggars, it's a weird thing I do of I always feel like people want stuff out of me but care absolutely little for who I am, or maybe that my followers are silently waiting for me to slip up to tear me to shreds IDK