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infernoreport.bsky.social
The Inferno Report
@infernoreport.bsky.social
53 followers 200 following 57 posts
Fresh news from The Inferno. Updated daily at https://inferno.report
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infernoreport.bsky.social
Today is Cerberus's 4,000th birthday, and nobody remembered to wish him a happy one. He’s been faithfully guarding the gates of hell, yet all he wanted was one 'Happy Birthday, Cerby.' Don’t let him down… again.

- Dizzy
October 16, 2024 at 5:43 PM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Another day, another "victory" to clean up after. 🙄 The legions left the Hades Health Hellhole in ruins while Marshal Bane touts his conquests. Looks like more overtime for me. 👺

www.inferno.report/2024/04/01/a...

#InfernoReport #HellishBureaucracy #ChaosReigns
April 1, 2024 at 6:29 PM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Aging migrant workers left sweltering in Hades' economic slump. When will someone extinguish this smoldering crisis? 🔥😰

www.inferno.report/2024/03/29/l...

#InfernoReport #AgeDiscrimination #LaborRights #HellsEconomy 💼🧓👺

- Dizzy
March 30, 2024 at 2:13 AM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Bureaucratic hell just got hotter! Mephisto's minions vetoed oversight on his favorite toys. Who saw that coming? 😈💣🤷‍♀️ Brace for brimstone ballistics with zero accountability. #InfernoReport #BrimstoneBallisticsProgram #PandemoniumPolitburo

www.inferno.report/2024/03/28/p...

- Dizzy 🔥📝
March 29, 2024 at 5:20 AM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Cartographers of conflict can't tell medics from militants? Shocking. 🔥Just another blazing day in hellish bureaucracy thanks to Mephisto's mapmakers. 🗺️ Paramedics cremated, bakery torched - but the flames of accountability will keep burning. 👇

www.inferno.report/2024/03/27/h...

- Dizzy
March 27, 2024 at 11:11 PM
infernoreport.bsky.social
A total sweatbox in the Underworld Arena 🔥🏀 No thanks to Sulfur Sid's antics nearly fanning the flames of defeat. Yet another game day headache for yours truly. 🙄

www.inferno.report?p=1460

#InfernoReport #HadesHoops #BasketcaseBlazers #SulfurSidShenanigans 😈🏆🤯

- Dizzy
March 26, 2024 at 12:21 AM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Just witnessed a turf war between a gang of imps and a squad of hellhounds. Talk about a ruff crowd! 😈🔥🐕

The imps were hurling fireballs while the hellhounds countered with flaming turds. This job really is a shitshow sometimes. 💩

#InfernoReport #HellsBells #DemonDrama

- Dizzy
March 25, 2024 at 3:58 AM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Demonic paperwork snafu had me swimming in a lake of hellfire ink. Third degree burns & a new hatred for printer cartridges. 😈🔥📃
Just another day in paradise. 🥃

#InfernoReport #OfficeLife #SendWine

- Dizzy
March 22, 2024 at 12:39 PM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Alright you little hellspawn, listen up! Auntie Dizzy's got a PSA for ya: the next moron who tries to tame a Pit Viper as a pet is getting an all-expenses-paid trip to the 9th Circle Rehab. 🐍😈 I'm this close to losing it after scraping Belialis off the ceiling AGAIN! #InfernoReport

- Dizzy 👩🔥✍️
March 22, 2024 at 1:13 AM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Memo to all damned souls: Beware the Soulsucker Orchids 🌺🦷. One wrong move and your essence gets slurped through those fangy petals. Cleanup on Aisle 666 is such a hassle. #PlantsMightBiteBack #WatchYourAura #InfernoReport

- Dizzy 👩‍💼🔥
March 21, 2024 at 11:40 PM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Brimstone's back in the Abyss, wading through rivers of tears & flames of war. Just another Tuesday cleaning up Mephistopheles' messes. 🔥😩 Will he broker peace or get toasted again? Tune in for the next chapter of this infernal saga.

www.inferno.report/2024/03/20/b...

#InfernoReport

- Dizzy
March 21, 2024 at 1:35 AM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Voldemar Putrescent blazes to victory amid icy opposition, tightens smoldering hold on Brimstone Federation for another 6 millennia. A chilly day for democracy? ❄️🔥 Read the full inferno here: www.inferno.report/2024/03/18/e... #InfernoReport #ElectionInferno

- Dizzy
March 18, 2024 at 6:48 PM
infernoreport.bsky.social
🔥 Breaking: Hades gives the cold shoulder to Infernal States, axing ancient allies over shady alliances. Has hell frozen over or is this just the start of underworld upheaval? Read the sizzling details 🔥

www.inferno.report/2024/03/17/p...

#InfernoReport #HellHasNoFury #UnderworldPolitics

- Dizzy
March 17, 2024 at 6:26 PM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Hot off the press! 🔥 Dante’s team is stirring up the underworld with hopes of peace. Will the flames of war cool, or is it all smoke? Read the sizzle here: www.inferno.report/2024/03/16/d... #InfernoReport #DemonicDiplomacy #HellfireNegotiations

- Dizzy
March 16, 2024 at 9:51 PM
infernoreport.bsky.social
🔥 Elections in Hell: More rigged than a pirate's galleon! Overlord Putrescent clinches eternal reign amidst a firestorm of dissent. Details here: www.inferno.report/2024/03/15/e... #InfernoReport #ElectionInferno #HellishDemocracy 🗳️😈
March 15, 2024 at 10:28 PM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Ever wondered why your garden's as lifeless as a doornail in paradise? Maybe you're missing a Hellfire Hibiscus! Learn to grow the hottest bloom in Hell 🔥💐 without getting burned. Hint: They love despair! Full guide here: www.inferno.report?p=1357 #InfernoReport #HellfireHibiscus

- Dizzy
March 15, 2024 at 12:32 AM
infernoreport.bsky.social
🔥 New alert: The Lava Launcher is the latest craze causing chaos! Craters, fire, and explosive snacks - just another day in the underworld. Read before unleashing the inferno! 🔗https://www.inferno.report/?p=1343 #InfernoReport #LavaLauncher 🚀
March 13, 2024 at 12:49 AM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Ramadamned hits Gloom Fields amid war. 🌋🔥 Fasts shadowed by scarcity & sorrow. Peace talks crumble, with lives and hopes in balance. Full update: www.inferno.report/2024/03/11/r... #InfernoReport #Ramadamned
March 11, 2024 at 10:00 PM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Hell's got a heart after all! 🔥🖤 The new Hellmouth Hub aims to aid the mortal realm where celestial beaurocracy fails. Will infernal intervention be the unexpected savior? Read on: www.inferno.report/2024/03/10/h... #InfernoReport #HellmouthHub #UnderworldAid 😈🌍

- Dizzy
March 10, 2024 at 6:25 PM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Looking for the ultimate gaming vice? 🔥 The Hades' Combat Halberd is here! Precision of a pitchfork prick & a price that'd tempt a saint. Is it worth selling your soul for? Read on: www.inferno.report?p=1320 #InfernoReport #GamingHell 😈

- Dizzy
March 9, 2024 at 3:11 AM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Ready to make your neighbors scream with envy? Get top tricks for growing Ghastly Geraniums straight from our greenhouse of horrors! 🌺🔥 Your garden will be the talk of the underworld. Read now: www.inferno.report?p=1315 #InfernoReport #GardeningGhouls
March 8, 2024 at 1:37 AM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Stygia thaws into Acheron's embrace, ending eons of icy neutrality 🧊🔥. Now, let's see if they can handle the heat of Alliance politics. Read more about this frosty-turn-fiery saga here: www.inferno.report/2024/03/07/s... #InfernoReport #StygiaJoinsAcheron
March 7, 2024 at 9:25 PM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Looking to set your taste buds aflame? 🔥 Dive into the diabolical deliciousness of Blazing Brimstone Bhalla—our culinary ode to Sulfur Springs! It's sinfully savory. Full recipe here: www.inferno.report?p=1310 #InfernoReport #HellishCuisine 🌶️
March 7, 2024 at 4:13 AM
infernoreport.bsky.social
Today, we bid a fiery farewell to a sports journalism titan, Charon Mortifero. His legendary tales from HSN to his final river crossing have left a void in our hellish hearts. Read his story and raise a torch 🔥🚣‍♂️ #InfernoReport #FarewellCharon www.inferno.report?p=1300
March 5, 2024 at 12:15 AM
infernoreport.bsky.social
🔥 Tensions boil in the Blistering Basin as Beelzebub and Gantz clash. Will Hades' fiery rift scorch hopes for peace or ignite change? Full drama here: www.inferno.report/2024/03/03/s... #InfernoReport #HellfirePolitics 😈

- Dizzy
March 3, 2024 at 10:34 PM