Aside from that, I've become more sentimental, I've learned to interact, I'm still striving to be a better person, I'm less ashamed of being myself.

Which brings me to another point: this irritates people; you can't be yourself.

My degrading situation is that I can't choose the degree I want, there's about a 60% chance my plans will fail, and I could lose everything I have by playing the dice at the wrong time.

Now I'm back to square one.

I lost myself in music, I lost myself in people. I think I left pieces of myself everywhere I went. I became an empty vessel with a hole, copying and adapting and discarding, and I still search for something I don't know what it is. I let things shape my personality and my appearance.