Truth is everybody just says shit to keep you here they don’t mean it they will tell you lies to stall you keep you on a false hope that you matter and then ignore you or grow tired of you quickly so learn from me just don’t be bother

look hollows too lol

depression is a bitch and the guilt for letting people in to try help me feels awful too if only i could of just pulled that fucking trigger in January none of these feeling would exist none of this wondering if i matter would have to continue and nobody gets hurt and everyone can be free of my shit

i just wish i could disappear and just kms without them knowing and dragging them in this in hopes that they can save me while also knowing i cant be saved but what if man what if it is possible agh somebody just come and kill me pls im tired of being a bother im sure they would be happy im gone too

but rn its the 2 peoples actions and their action alone depends on if there is some light and i should attempt to keep living its like my will to live depend on them and thats not fair for them my life should not be on their hands but rn its all i got

im just so tired of dragging people in this mess and i feel awful venting about it or saying ima kms only to still be here i feel like a lier or im sympathy baiting to have them feel sorry for me and help so its like i just need to leave people alone and kms to prove i was serious

i just dont know what im doing i wish they would just say they dont care so i could just end it i dont want this false hope that maybe they do care only for me to fall but when i expect them to catch me on my lowest of days when the gun is pointed at my head and i scream for help only to be ignored