Myrtle Beach car hang tag: "Aaaarghhh!!! Our Pirate Host for today is heavily photoshopped JD Vance. Can YOU resist the shrill siren songs of Special Guest Mermaids Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene?"

I think we should rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of Chicxulub, in honor of the asteroid that impacted near Yucatan and caused the planetary extinction of the dinosaurs 66 million years ago.