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idomyownstunts.bsky.social
I do my own stunts
@idomyownstunts.bsky.social
610 followers 420 following 35 posts
Hopefully, something funny for you
Sometime not political correct
Monday is Punday
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idomyownstunts.bsky.social
Balloon animals I can make:

Worm

Snake

Eel

#joke #rated-g #talented
November 27, 2024 at 12:47 AM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
I hate when people ask what I bring to the table.

I bring sarcasm and anxiety.

What else do you need?

#joke #facts
November 26, 2024 at 7:58 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.

#joke #quietones
November 26, 2024 at 7:47 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
I’m the quiet neighbor with the big freezer.

#joke #sizematters
November 26, 2024 at 6:03 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
I'm known around the office as "The Computer" because I go to sleep if left unattended for 10 minutes.

#joke #pun #punday
November 25, 2024 at 10:51 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
What does a turkey with a limp sound like?

Wobble Wobble

#joke #pun #punday
November 25, 2024 at 6:21 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese but it’s only mild.

#joke #pun #punday
November 25, 2024 at 5:16 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
When I found out my new toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked!!

#joke #puns #punday
November 25, 2024 at 2:35 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
So, I bought some new fluorescent pens today. It was the highlight of my week.

#joke #puns #punday
November 25, 2024 at 2:33 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
Remember today is Punday.

Stay tuned for something punny.

#punday
November 25, 2024 at 1:04 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
Go home, Monday! No one likes you!

#joke #monday #amIGarfield
November 25, 2024 at 1:02 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
I should be ashamed of myself. Let’s be clear, I’m not. But I should be.

#joke #facts #shameless
November 24, 2024 at 11:29 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
If I’m ever on life support:

Unplug me. 

Then plug me back in. See if that works.

#joke #ctrlaltdel #stayawayfromthelight
November 24, 2024 at 11:27 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
I love sleeping.

It’s like being dead without the commitment.

#joke #sleep #goodinbed
November 24, 2024 at 11:24 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
You know those adorable idiosyncrasies you loved when first dating?

After 10 years of marriage they become what the police refer to as “motive”.

Side note: I need a lawyer
#joke #reallyJustAJoke
November 24, 2024 at 1:08 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
I despise haikus.
I’m court ordered to do them. To ‘learn tolerance.’

#joke #haiku #poetic
November 24, 2024 at 1:00 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.

#joke #insertHashTag
November 24, 2024 at 12:58 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
In Alcohol’s defense, I have done some pretty dumb stuff while completely sober too.

#Joke #AA #YOLO
November 24, 2024 at 12:57 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
Too old for Snapchat,
too young for Life Alert.

#joke #jokes #helpivefallen
November 24, 2024 at 2:23 AM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
I know my dog loves me, but if I had a squeaker in me, she'd gut me like a fish.

#joke #dogs #humanchewtoy
November 24, 2024 at 12:54 AM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
I’m not saying I’m Batman. I’m just saying that nobody has ever seen me and Batman in a room together.

#joke #batman #thedorknight
November 23, 2024 at 10:01 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
My wife always accuses me of having a favorite child. It’s not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.

#joke #hashtag
November 23, 2024 at 2:20 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
If you stay angry at someone, it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

What I’m trying to say is, poison the person that made you angry.

Also, I need a lawyer.

#joke #jokes #funny
November 23, 2024 at 2:03 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
Is it just me or does nobody go missing in the Bermuda Triangle anymore?

#showerthoughts #funny #notfunny?
November 21, 2024 at 3:09 PM
idomyownstunts.bsky.social
I still enjoy playing with dolls…

They’re now voodoo dolls, but still.

#jokes #joke #funny
November 20, 2024 at 12:28 PM