Idées Noires
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idnoires.bsky.social
Idées Noires
@idnoires.bsky.social
25 followers 6 following 25 posts
extraits des Idées Noires par Franquin
scans issus de l'intégrale de 2001 (ISBN 2-85815-295-0)
archive.org/details/int-idees-noires-fluide-glacial

je ne suis lié ni aux ayant droit de Franquin ni à Fluide Glacial
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idnoires.bsky.social
Idées Noires 16, case finale, dessin original publié chez Marsu Productions (2009) De gauche à droite: le jeune homme en costume et nœud papillon, qui regarde la scène étonné mais pas choqué; le vieux, lunettes rondes et costume trois pièces, hirsute, postillonne de rage; le bonzaï, bel exemplaire dans un pot surélevé; les deux créatures, aux yeux démesurément grands, tout maigres, doigts et orteils tordus dans tous les sens. English: Idées Noires 16, final panel, original drawing published by Marsu Productions (2009) From left to right: the young man in the suit and bow tie, staring at the scene astonished but not shocked; the old man, round glasses and three-piece suit, shaggy, sputtering with rage; the bonsai, a fine specimen in an elevated pot; the two creatures, eyes disproportionately large, skinny, fingers and toes twisted in every which way.
March 22, 2025 at 9:25 PM
idnoires.bsky.social
alt-text and closed captions in english 🇬🇧
Idées Noires 16, comic strip in 10 panels Hat: Don't confuse the storeroom in the attic with a scaled-down model. 1 - a young man and a middle-aged man in a cabinet of curiosities. Shelves full of models. The old man: “...yes, I've always liked miniatures... but I got tired of electric trains, boats and other models...” 2 - “I discovered my true vocation in bonsai, the Japanese art of growing dwarf trees...”. The figures pass a shrunken head hanging from the ceiling, and the young man stares at it in dismay. The old man's hands are bony and hairy, with claw-like nails. 3 - “In the beginning, the idea is to stop the plant from growing... hihihi... when it's young, it's transplanted into pots that are too small, it's often replanted...” the old man points to a tiny shoot in a tiny pot. 4 - “...each time, we CUT, click with SCISSORS all the little roots that try to grow, click... CLICK” He mimes the gesture with his large fingers. 5 - “...and then we RIP off most of the tender buds and shoots... but patiently, PINCHING them with our NAILS... Hignnn” 6 - “...in spite of everything, an embryo of a trunk grows, one or two tiny branches... then they are BENT, TWISTED, LIGOTED with copper wire in UNUSUAL positions so that over the years they acquire BIZARRE shapes...”. The young man admires the bonzai on display, while the old man looks increasingly agitated. 7+8 - “...we force them to CRAWL, using HOOKS... sometimes we HOLD them between pegs or stones... We also practice certain GRAFTS... Personally, I love experimenting...” He presses down on one bonsai, shows another completely tied up between stakes. 9 - Close-up on his irate expression “But? ... What's stirring this... For God's sake!” 10 - On a table, a bonsai larger than the others. Out come two small, deformed humanoid creatures, 5-6 cm tall, looking frightened. The old man says, “DAMN KIDS! I FORBADE YOU TO CLIMB TREES!” The creatures: “We won't do it anymore... Daddy"
March 22, 2025 at 9:25 PM
idnoires.bsky.social
Malheureusement dans la vraie vie ce ne sont pas les responsables qui trinquent :
fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affaire...
Affaire Karachi — Wikipédia
fr.wikipedia.org
March 12, 2025 at 11:35 PM
idnoires.bsky.social
Idées Noires 8, case isolée, dessin original publié chez Marsu Productions (2009) Une camionette, les pneus déformés par un freinage brusque, cabrée sur les roues avant, rentre dans un homme en costume trois pièces, l'envoyant cul par dessus tête. English: Idées Noires 8, single panel, original drawing published by Marsu Productions (2009) A truck, its tires bent by sudden braking, rear-ends a man in a three-piece suit, flipping him upside down.
March 12, 2025 at 11:35 PM
idnoires.bsky.social
alt-text and closed captions in english 🇬🇧
Idées Noires 8, a comic strip in 10 panels. Caption: Don't confuse shaking hands with greasing the wheels. Panel 1 - A minister leaves his chauffeur and his Rolls Royce: “I'll go on foot, Albert. To enjoy this beautiful blue sky...” “Yes, Minister...” “To get home, I'll take the Jaguar...” 2 - A plane flies by, “Schwiii” The Minister watches it go by, smiling: “Well! Isn't that my beloved F-AC-TWO fighter! Yes, it is, hihihi! He's the one who earned me my château de la Fraud-upon-Kickback... When I had the defense buy a hundred of them...” 3 - He's hilarious: “...the contractor was grateful... Go figure. A deal worth a few hundred billion!” 4 - “Each of these birds costs several million dollars!” 5 - “Vroo”, He turns his head: “And what do I hear? Yessss! The General Balistics troop transport! Today is my day! Excellent piece of equipment... Less expensive than the other one, but...” In the background: traffic lights and a car. 6 - The Minister prances: “...I've ordered two hundred in for them!... and I'm even cashing in on the spare parts... Millions fall from the sky! And I'm just beginning... My journey upwards!” 7 - A truck arrives, hits the brakes and sends him flying, “IIIIIAIK - MOP”. 8 - A crowd gathers around the downed minister: “He was going with his nose in the air, not looking where... - He's badly banged up... and that ambulance that doesn't arrive! - Are you surprised? There are five for the whole town... - Tough luck, poor guy... - Do you know what an ambulance costs? - Here it is!” 9 - The ambulance leaves. The paramedics: “ Pity! We needed a car equipped for CPR... - Not available... they only have one: lack of money...” The ambulance makes a lot of smoke and shakes all over, “CLANGTACLANG”. 10 - Two doctors at the foot of a stretcher on which a sheet is thrown: “We could have saved him... but the equipment...” “As always, my friend, it's a question of budget...”
March 12, 2025 at 11:35 PM
idnoires.bsky.social
Agreed
bsky.app/profile/idno...
February 17, 2025 at 9:43 PM
idnoires.bsky.social
Idées Noires 40, case isolée, dessin original publié chez Marsu Productions (2009) Des silhouettes de travailleurs voûtés marchent les uns derrière les autres de gauche à droite. Deux silhouettes en costume, genre jeune cadre dynamique, marchent à grands pas sur leurs têtes. Les personnages du bas de la case ne réagissent pas. English: Idées Noires 40, single frame, original drawing published by Marsu Productions (2009) Shapes of stooped workers walk one behind the other from left to right. Two figures in suits, looking like dynamic young executives, stride over their heads. The figures at the bottom of the square don't react.
February 13, 2025 at 8:55 AM
idnoires.bsky.social
alt-text and closed captions in english 🇬🇧
Idées Noires 40, a comic strip in 5 panels Caption: “Don't confuse... getting lost in the shuffle with... happening in the shit.” (it is a word play in French) Panel 1 - Stooped figures, looking beaten, walk from left to right. One character thinks “Ohhf! I don't have any illusions anymore... I'm a Mr Nobody...” 2 - The same character “I'll always be just another number among millions...” From the left of the square a faint sound “tomp tomp tomp”. 3 - “I'll never understand how some people get so far...” “tomp tomp tomp” (louder) 4 - “...faster and higher than others...” “tomp tomp tomp” (even louder) 5 - The view widens. In front of and behind the character, slender silouhettes in costume and with briefcase stride forward, stepping on the heads of the silouhettes below. “TOMP TOMP TOMP TOMP” do their steps.
February 13, 2025 at 8:55 AM
idnoires.bsky.social
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUyv...
Yves Lecoq : Chassez le gaspi [1979]
YouTube video by Souvenirs de radio locale et boîte 80-90
www.youtube.com
February 12, 2025 at 6:44 PM
idnoires.bsky.social
contexte pour les plus jeunes d'entre nous: en 1979 le deuxième choc pétrolier donne lieu à des restrictions dans les livraisons de fioul et à une campagne d'incitation à la conduite économe en carburant. On est invité à chasser Gaspi, une mascotte à l'entonnoir vissé sur la tête.
"Permis de chasse au Gaspi" "1 Gaspi = 1 Litre de carburant gaspillé" Design calqué sur les permis de chasse français. La mascotte Gaspi est repésentée fuyant vers la droite. C'est un bonhomme rose avec de grands pieds et un entonnoir sur la tête, dans le style BD franco-belge. english: “Gaspi-hunting license” “1 Gaspi = 1 Litre of fuel wasted” Design adapted from French hunting permits. The Gaspi mascot is shown running off to the right. It's a pink guy with big feet and a funnel on his head, in the style of a French-Belgian cartoon.
February 12, 2025 at 6:44 PM
idnoires.bsky.social
alt-text and closed captions in english 🇬🇧
Idées Noires 34, comic strip in 8 panels. Caption: “Let's not confuse times are hard and victims are immolating themselves”. Panel 1 - A stooped man with a sullen expression is carrying a jerry can. Behind him, vehicles are moving. 2 - The figure looks left and right. 3 - He sits down and starts pouring petrol over himself. Reaction from outside the frame: “Hey, look at that guy! What's he doin'?” “No! Don't!!” “He's crazy, damn it!” 4 - He finishes the jerry can on his head, “glob glob glob”. “Stop him!” “Do something, for God's sake!!!” 5 - He flicks on a lighter, “Tchic!” “Too late!” “How horrible!” “Careful!” 6 - A large flame flashes in the air, “ZWOUFFF” 7 - His shape is visible amid the flames. “It's a disgrace!” 8 - Final wide shot: onlookers, having left their cars, around the charred remains. “Is this what he calls waste hunting, that prick?!” “ How much's in a jerry can?... -I don't know, twenty liters? - I can do 250 kilometers with that!” “ No matter how much we tell them every day on the radio...” “Such a waste!” “ How uncivilized! ”
February 12, 2025 at 6:44 PM
idnoires.bsky.social
This post resonates with me today as the comic strip above embedded in my mind from age 9 or so

bsky.app/profile/oliv...
oliveoilcorp.bsky.social Olivia Stephens @oliveoilcorp.bsky.social · Feb 11
"well as long as it's age appropriate" no fuck you guys actually, i read adult books when i was 12 and now i'm weird as hell, as i SHOULD be
February 11, 2025 at 3:58 PM
idnoires.bsky.social
alt-text and closed captions in English 🇬🇧
Idées Noires 61, comic strip in 7 panels 1 - The Minister of Defense and an Air Force general visit a military base with planes and helicopters. With them: a small, bespectacled, scientist- type man. In front of them: two pilots, one of whom looks terrified. Minister: “...remember: it's an idea I had ten years ago!...” Gal: “A great idea, Minister!” Min: “...during my first stint at national defense...” 2 - The Minister shakes hands with the pilot. “I absolutely wanted to do this test myself! Alas, I didn't have the right build. I'll be up there with you, with all my heart!” Behind him, the scientist gestures to warn the general of a problem. In the sky, a fighter plane is making a lot of smoke and losing its missiles in mid-air. 3 - The two officials leave, the pilot puts on his helmet, the scientist is elbowed by the Gal: “Let's go up to the control tower to direct the operation...” 4 - The chopper takes its evol “TCHOP TCHOP TCHOP TCHOP”. 5 - The minister observes through binoculars. The scientist is still pretending to warn the Gal: “Helicon control tower. You start the experiment on my command... Focus: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... ZERO!” 6 - The pilot ejects vertically from the cockpit, flying through the propellers which slice him horizontally. We recognize parts of his face, hands, feet... everything in order from top to bottom. The propellers throw blood everywhere “TCHOP TCHOP TCHOP TCHOP TCHOP TCHOP”. 7 - The three characters on the tarmac. The Minister looks in panic at the carnage outside the panel. The Gal: “... sure, sure! It's a good idea, the ejector seat for helicopters... It's the execution that...” The scientist: “I've been saying it for ten years: it's possible. Except downwards...” The Gal: “ C'mon! Clean up and decorate...”
February 11, 2025 at 3:46 PM
idnoires.bsky.social
I definitely read somewhere that women used to paint a seam on the back of their calves to make up for the lack of stockings
February 10, 2025 at 9:02 PM
idnoires.bsky.social
alt-text and closed captions in English 🇬🇧
Idées Noires 39, comic strip in 9 panels caption: “Don't confuse the sinister sounds of war with the nauseating smell of peace [Paix=Peace is homophone to Pet=Fart in French]”. panel 1 - a man is watching TV 2 - he listens to the radio, looking worried 3 - reading the newspaper, looking even more worried 4 - facing the reader, newspaper down: “That's it! We're going to get it, the third one!” 5 - he gets busy with tools: “It's settled: I'm building my fallout shelter... the neighbors are going to laugh in my face, but when it comes down...”. 6 - he starts digging “...because it's going to come down around here! It always comes down around here... back in 14-18...” 7 - we can already see him deep in his hole, in cross-section “...and in 39-45! It hit here on the way out, and hit here on the way back...”. 8 - he lifts his pick “In between, so we wouldn't get bored, they sent us bombers...” the cross-section reveals a buried bomb “Here! a big stone, very hard... HHUMF...” 9 - “BLOUM” the character's corpse crosses the frame from bottom to top, the explosion sending debris in all directions
February 9, 2025 at 7:27 PM