“You made that icon disappear when I couldn’t drag it to the recycle bin. I have reason to believe you are in concert with Satan and he has given you dark mystical powers.”
“Thanks, Helen from HR.”

Women have described their love of dad bods to me in terms of “it’s like you get to fuck a bear”, so this checks out

That just means their explanation would start with “well a piece of paper sits on the Capitol steps until a small ginger child walks up and asks this piece of paper what it’s doing there”

Believe me, based on the number of people across all age groups who struggle to do some PC-related chore via mouse, and I lean over and use a keyboard shortcut and do it in three seconds and they look at me like I invented the wheel, you’re most likely still ahead of the curve

🎶They take my body
While I’m still meat
Yeah, it’s a triflin’ coffin indeed
Oh she’s a grave digger
Way over town
that digs up me🎶