Dan Bain
@iamdanbain.bsky.social
I am a butt that smells like 100 butts
My first full standup special is live on YouTube today and I am both horrified at the possibility of being observed, and worried that no one will. Got myself a real Schrödinger going on.
September 11, 2025 at 9:23 PM
My first full standup special is live on YouTube today and I am both horrified at the possibility of being observed, and worried that no one will. Got myself a real Schrödinger going on.
Uh-oh it’s late. Is this the good daylight saving or am I fucked for tomorrow?
April 5, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Uh-oh it’s late. Is this the good daylight saving or am I fucked for tomorrow?
I would love to enjoy this platform but boy is it just sadness followed by ironic sadness followed by genuine sadness followed by wow, did you hear about this sad thing.
February 14, 2025 at 9:46 AM
I would love to enjoy this platform but boy is it just sadness followed by ironic sadness followed by genuine sadness followed by wow, did you hear about this sad thing.
I recorded a couple of new episodes of my podfaded show about the Xmen Animated series and honestly how does anyone ever hang out with their friends if they ain’t making a thing together?
February 6, 2025 at 7:37 AM
I recorded a couple of new episodes of my podfaded show about the Xmen Animated series and honestly how does anyone ever hang out with their friends if they ain’t making a thing together?
I shouldn’t laugh but a stock image search for ‘drama class’ presented me mostly with images of sad children holding ‘no bullying’ and ‘I’m a person too’ signs. 🤭🫠
January 17, 2025 at 10:04 PM
I shouldn’t laugh but a stock image search for ‘drama class’ presented me mostly with images of sad children holding ‘no bullying’ and ‘I’m a person too’ signs. 🤭🫠
Hey this is fun, so much David Lynch on the internet today, what a— oh no. 😞
January 17, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Hey this is fun, so much David Lynch on the internet today, what a— oh no. 😞
Good morning from me, noodle asshole.
November 17, 2024 at 9:12 PM
Good morning from me, noodle asshole.
I ordered the seafood sampler platter instead of a burger because I wanted to seem like a grown up but now I have a sore tummy and have to go do an hour of standup. #toomanyscallops #idontevenlikemussels
March 16, 2024 at 6:25 AM
I ordered the seafood sampler platter instead of a burger because I wanted to seem like a grown up but now I have a sore tummy and have to go do an hour of standup. #toomanyscallops #idontevenlikemussels
This my murder train show
March 4, 2024 at 12:04 PM
This my murder train show
Did premier house maybe test positive for meth?
March 1, 2024 at 10:42 AM
Did premier house maybe test positive for meth?
$52k house rebate divide by weekly shop ($60) = Luxon house pays his dinner for 16 years. Bootstraps.
March 1, 2024 at 2:38 AM
$52k house rebate divide by weekly shop ($60) = Luxon house pays his dinner for 16 years. Bootstraps.
So embarrassed to be subject to capitalism right now.
October 25, 2023 at 8:47 AM
So embarrassed to be subject to capitalism right now.
Did I make some ridiculous limited edition digital prints of my nonsense illustrations? This grid of items suggests so.
October 18, 2023 at 10:01 AM
Did I make some ridiculous limited edition digital prints of my nonsense illustrations? This grid of items suggests so.
Super excited at the new govt and the opportunity to be trickled down on.
My mouth is open like a hungry baby bird.
My mouth is open like a hungry baby bird.
October 15, 2023 at 12:23 AM
Super excited at the new govt and the opportunity to be trickled down on.
My mouth is open like a hungry baby bird.
My mouth is open like a hungry baby bird.
Reckon I’ll probably just vote in the next election in 6 weeks that’s unprecedented but totally going to happen apparently
October 14, 2023 at 6:50 AM
Reckon I’ll probably just vote in the next election in 6 weeks that’s unprecedented but totally going to happen apparently
Me: This will be the platform I finally create value for followers on.
Also me: I have gig.
Also me: I have gig.
October 13, 2023 at 6:15 AM
Me: This will be the platform I finally create value for followers on.
Also me: I have gig.
Also me: I have gig.
Toastmasters giving people too much confidence. Imagine being 6 weeks into a toastmasters course and going to a 20 year veteran of the form “uhhh, you play with the mic stand” you thing this isn’t a deliberate technique to lower my status after insulting the crowd?? Too. Much. Confidence.
October 11, 2023 at 9:44 AM
Toastmasters giving people too much confidence. Imagine being 6 weeks into a toastmasters course and going to a 20 year veteran of the form “uhhh, you play with the mic stand” you thing this isn’t a deliberate technique to lower my status after insulting the crowd?? Too. Much. Confidence.
My 6 minutes is 10 minutes. This is a problem.
September 27, 2023 at 10:14 AM
My 6 minutes is 10 minutes. This is a problem.
No more marketing partners.
More marketing panthers.
More marketing panthers.
September 24, 2023 at 5:28 AM
No more marketing partners.
More marketing panthers.
More marketing panthers.
Tables save lives in earthquakes. That’s why I believe in guardian angles.
September 24, 2023 at 5:21 AM
Tables save lives in earthquakes. That’s why I believe in guardian angles.