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iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
🌈 i_admire_from_afar 📺
@iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
76 followers 340 following 280 posts
18+ aka old. fandom and vibes. fat people are hot. i don't trust you if you don't think fat people are hot.

send me stuff: https://1admirefromafar.straw.page

check out my writing: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_admire_from_afar
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iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
I set out to write kink fic. Instead, I write hurt/comfort.
Jayce avoided therapy for as long as he could, not because he thought it was useless, or that it “wasn’t for him.” No, Jayce avoided therapy because it meant admitting he needed help. And, boy, did he need help. Jayce was recommended to a psychiatrist specializing in DBT. He was diagnosed with bulimia nervosa (no surprise there); he also, likely, had borderline personality disorder, but other diagnoses needed to be ruled out. He was sent to a pulmonologist for heart issues likely related to his bulimia. He was prescribed an SSRI and a beta blocker. He was assigned a dietitian. He was given a meal plan. Jayce went to therapy once a week, met with his dietician twice a month, the pulmonologist monthly. He took his meds, made his meals, wrote in his food journal. And he was a real trooper about it, all this change and too many answers and somehow not enough of them. It was a far cry from the chaos that came with life in the spotlight. It was still a life, though, Jayce tried convincing himself. But a life worth living? That, he was still trying to figure out.
September 30, 2025 at 4:31 PM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
This is pretty apt.

You can take the quiz here: uquiz.com/Result/stati...
An image of Mage Viktor. Below the image, the caption reads as follows: Your Result: The All Knowing Mage Who Sets the Wheels in Motion This is the character which, while unknown to most until the very final episode, created the circumstances which dictated the entire trajectory of this story. A wise and mysterious person, you understand and have come to terms with the world around you. Perhaps, more accurately, you have come to terms with all it is you will never know of the world around you. "Knowledge is a paradox, the more one understand, the more one realizes the vastness of his ignorance." The fact that you will never know all there is to know may have once been the cause of your greatest despair, but now is where you find peace in the imperfections of yourself and the world around you.
September 11, 2025 at 6:39 PM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
Surprise! I'm a Jayce

While I am taken by a Viktor-esc person, I am always looking for more friends!

#JayVik #JayVik4JayVik
An image of Jayce. Below him, the text reads: Jayce Big-hearted, affectionate, a little rash—you’re a Jayce! Share your results along with your favorite headcanon and what you’re looking for! Ex., “enby seeks enby” Use the hashtag jayvik4jayvik so we can find each other.
September 8, 2025 at 4:45 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
Celebrating #WIPWednesday by resurrecting some long abandoned JayVik WIPs.

We'll see which ones actually end up seeing the light of day.
“I look…” “…I look pretty.” “You do.” “Viktor. I, um…” “What is it, love?” “I think I look like me.” There was no way in hell Jayce and Victor were going to win Best Pastry at Jinx's Pastry Party. They were excellent cooks, no denying that, but pastry chefs Jayce and Viktor were not. They accepted this.  Jinx, on the other hand, was now an exceptional pastry chef in her own right. She and Ekko co-owned Firelight Café, where she made all the baked goods. Most all of her and Ekko’s colleagues were formidable culinary talents with equally impressive credentials, meaning these Pastry Parties were just as much networking events as they were friendly gatherings. Oh, and whoever won the coveted Best Pastry? They got to have their winning bake sold at the café for a week. No pressure. Jayce called in the order: a medium Pineapple Express (pineapple, bacon, jalapeño, red onion), a medium Won’t You Be My Gill-friend (anchovy, roasted garlic, olives, capers, kale), garlic knots, and a della casa salad— “Oh, could we get the lemon pepper wings, too?” And lemon pepper wings. Someone was hungry. “Order should be here in 45-ish minutes,” Jayce said once he ended the call. “We’ll be feasting like kings.” “Or two thirty-somethings on pay day.”
September 3, 2025 at 8:46 PM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
god I'm way too proud of myself for this snippet of dialogue
“Look at how fat you’ve made me,” Viktor chuckled, watching his belly jiggle from his laughter and from Jayce’s hands ghosting his stretch marks. “Me?” Jayce laughed, rubbing the angry red line left behind by Viktor’s jeans. “Babe, most all of this is you.” “You're still complicit,” Viktor chuckled. “Like there being more of you is a crime.” Jayce kissed the swollen crest of Viktor’s belly, started kissing his way up to Viktor’s softening jawline.
August 11, 2025 at 12:46 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
A farmer stands in front of his fields and says "It ain't much but it's honest work"
August 10, 2025 at 1:11 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
Okay, I'll bite.

Applicable to both my writing (since there's more of it) and my drawings (there aren't as many).

HAVE AT!
what's my art trademark??1' as in what makes you go "oh hey, this is - art!11!!" or what's the most remarkable thing about my art style in general? In the bottom right corner is a stick figure with sharp teeth holding up a piece of paper with the word "art" on it. Said stick figure is described as "full of soup"
July 31, 2025 at 6:47 PM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
this is where I post from
it's night time we're inside a dark cabin. There's scraps of paper on the floor, a shirt and hat hung on the wall, and a mug rests on a chair in front of the doorway.
July 20, 2025 at 6:54 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
In light of racists trying to justify racism during jayvik bdsm week, I'm gonna share some everygreen wisdom from mewvore:
post from mewvore on tumblr, dated Nov 30, 2024 I mean this with absolute seriousness, you need to actually study your fetishes post from mewvore on tumblr, dated Nov 30, 2024 a lot of fetishes are by nature taboo and not really talked about in polite company but since most have very specific names (usually something-philia) and are subject to psychological studies occasionally, you can find books and articles about them online. aside from that, it can be worthwhile to just look at something you enjoy and question your personal desire for it, and branch off from there, which can lead to more nuanced discussion when you're among peers. sometimes it can end up being a whole ass anthropological history lesson and you might be surprised just how much documentation there is and how far back people were entertaining certain fantasies and desires you should also take time to occasionally look at your smut from a critical point of view. nothing wrong with an analysis of artistic intent and a look into structure, procedure, execution, and climax. it can help elevate your standards, but also its just interesting to really see what someone with the same fetish was doing and how their approach may or may not differ from what you feel is quintessential. fetishes and kinks aren't omega important in the grand scheme like you don't need a master's thesis about fat women on my desk by friday or whatever, but they also don't exist isolated. they're technically a part of you. you should occasionally question things about yourself and what about them makes you hot and bothered and learning how other people question, express, and discover things can help build a better understanding about what you like and who you are.
July 16, 2025 at 4:56 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
new avatar

picrew.me/en/image_mak...
image of a green creature with antlers and cute doe ears. They have pink hair and a rose covering their eye. A crow in on their shoulder Multiple hands are in the frame primping up the character as they drink a cup of tea
June 24, 2025 at 3:44 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
more #FatJayvikWeek fic snippets
“I miss it.” Viktor reached his hands out in front of him, turning them inward, gesturing at how far his belly used to stretch out. “I miss taking up space. It was nice, not fading into the background, having people actually acknowledge me, you know? It felt…good.” “Hold on–” Jayce turned back some pages, “–think I saw something.” And Jayce kept turning back pages until he found a picture of them from the Distinguished Innovators Competition. The two were locked in a victorious embrace, a sliver of Jayce’s toned stomach peeking from under the same sweatshirt he was wearing now; it fit much looser back then.
June 22, 2025 at 8:06 PM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
I'm, for sure, writing for five of the seven days of #FatJayVikWeek2025: Days 1, 2, 3, 6, and 7

Question is: can you guess, based on these snippets, which fic belongs to which day?
Shit You’re up Hope I didn’t wake you? Okay, my absence woke you That’s great. Now can you help me out of this chair? They both chuckled, the gondola now stopped at the very top, looking over the town, the ocean, the whole basin bathed in the golden light of the setting sun. Viktor smiled with a sigh, leaning into Jayce ever so slightly. “It’s a nice view from up here.” “Yeah,” Jayce said, eyes only on Viktor, the way the sun haloed his hair, made his eyes glow like amber, the shadows it cast on his shirt buttons puckering along his belly. “It is.” “You asked for a surprise. You’ll taste it soon enough.”
June 22, 2025 at 8:06 PM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
yeah, funnel feeding fic is coming to me real nice #FatJayvikWeek2025
“Honey, it’s–I’m fine.” Viktor grabbed his hip, stood still for a moment before picking the funnel and the pitcher back up. He motioned for Jayce to grab the tube protruding from the funnel. “You know what to do?” “I mean, I’ve seen it done.” Jayce took the tube, examined the red stop valve, placed the opening on his lips, bit down on it. “Seen you do it plenty.” “It’s different on the other end, huh?” Viktor chuckled knowingly. “Yeah.” Jayce motioned at the stop valve. “I’ll tap this if I wanna stop?” “You’re asking me?” “I’ll tap this–” Jayce tapped the valve, open, close. “–when I want to stop.” “Sounds good.” Viktor firmly grasped where the funnel met the tube. He eyed the pitcher in his other hand, then looked Jayce dead in the eyes. “Ready?” Jayce nodded, eager as he was anxious. “Alright.” Viktor poured a small amount of smoothie into the funnel, a few mouthfuls worth. Jayce watched as the liquid slid its way down the tube, closer and closer to his lips and– Gulp Okay, so far so good. Jayce swallowed the smoothie harder than he would have liked, but– “How are we?” Viktor asked. “I…” Jayce wiped a hand over his mouth, caught his breath. “...I’m good. Think I can go for more.”
June 22, 2025 at 3:31 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
Okay, I feel this Fat Viktor Pinup is too good not to share with y'all

Now to figure out a pinup pose for Jayce

#FatViktor #ViktorArcane
A chubby Viktor, wearing a thong, has his arms stretched above his head, and is on his knees. He looks straight on. He has faint hexcorization scarring all over his body
June 19, 2025 at 5:44 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
Oh right, it's #WIPWednesday

Here are some drafts the #Jayvik centered short fics I'm writing for #FatJayvikWeek2025
"Oh my god, Viktor-" Jayce traced Viktor's slight frame in the picture, "-you were so tiny." "Me? Look at you!" Viktor pressed a chubby finger against Jayce's image. "Your waist was almost as small as mine!" "Hardly." Jayce rolled his eyes. "God, to think I thought I was fat back then. I had abs and I thought I was fat!" Jayce shook his head at the memory. "Then I said I thought your tummy was cute," Viktor said, "and you got a bit, erm, enthusiastic with making more tummy for me to love." "And I tried getting you to eat more once you started getting better," Jayce added. "I might have, eh, overdone it." Viktor looked down at his belly, holding back laughter. "And I might have, uh...encouraged you to overdo it. A little." "More like a lot." 130 (carrot emoji) 300 Viktor got the tattoo a while back, right below his belly button. He got it before meeting Jayce. “What does it mean?” Jayce asked after their first time having sex (and their third date). “It’s a carrot.” Viktor half-joked. “A carrot?” Jayce looked at him like he was a madman. “Yes. A carrot.” A proverbial carrot to dangle in front of a horse pulling the proverbial carriage. Jayce still didn’t follow. “Like, the number of carrots you can eat in one sitting?” Or maybe Jayce did follow. Viktor may or may not have taken care of himself after seeing how Jayce’s changing body made him feel. Made sure not to wake up his friend in the process. Because that’s what friends do, right?
June 19, 2025 at 12:30 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
art is hard, but I'm proud of this one #FatJayVik #FatViktor #FatJayce

I'll consider this something to revisit
Image of a chubby, naked Jayce hugging a chubby, naked Viktor from behind, cradling Viktor's soft belly in his hands. One of Viktor's hands is over Jayce's
June 18, 2025 at 11:48 PM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
You've been kidnapped. The characters from the last tv show you watched are coming to rescue you.

Yeah, I can trust her.
Cordelia Cupp, looking at the camera with an inquisitive look
June 16, 2025 at 1:58 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
how my Sims 4 JayVik family is looking these days
Sims 4 Viktor looking straight on, wielding a cane. He has an open-mouth smile on his face Sims 4 Jayce looking off to the side, cane in hand. Their hair is looking longer these days. This is Jayce and Viktor's daughter in Sims 4: Vida. She looks off to the side, toying with her fingers. And the dog: Corey. She is a small, mixed breed dog with floppy ears and a fluffy coat.
June 12, 2025 at 10:21 PM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
Sims 4 Viktor is a such a dad
Sims 4 Viktor and he and Jayce's daughter play make believe at a playground
June 12, 2025 at 1:03 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
it's #WIPWednesday

Here are some snippets of the short stories I'm writing for #FatJayVikWeek

Bonus points/bragging rights if you can correctly guess which #WIP corresponds to which prompt/day.
“I mean, you’re a beautiful…very beautiful man,” Jayce came back for air. “Having more of that beauty to admire, to have, to hold…” Jayce lost his train of thought, eyes darting between Viktor’s tattoo and his lust-stricken face. “I’ll take as much or as little of you as you’ll let me.” “Take all of me then,” Viktor said, wrapping his legs around Jayce, pulling him closer. “As much as you want. And the rate I’m blowing up, there’ll be a lot more of me to go around soon.” “I’ll make sure there’s plenty of us to go around, if you…catch my drift,” Jayce smirked, diving head first into a long kiss, and a longer night of loving Viktor. I’m bad at sleep, you know So when I can’t sleep I let my mind wander for a bit Fall down rabbit holes My body cannot follow, While kneading stomach fat I’d never thought I’d have I think about the ways Our love has – and continues To change us Our bodies Our minds Our perspectives God, Jayce wanted to kiss the bit of ice cream on the corner of Viktor’s mouth. Wanted to kiss the mole right above it, too. Was that normal, thinking about kissing your best friend? “You got something—” Jayce pointed to the offending smudge of ice cream, “—corner, yeah, under your mole. That’s it.” Viktor wiped the ice cream with his thumb, his eyes on Jayce the whole time. “Thanks,” Viktor said coldly, almost disappointed. “Tummy okay?” Jayce groaned in discomfort. “Took the antacid. Hasn’t kicked in yet.” “My poor baby.” Viktor laid his head on Jayce’s tummy, placed a hand over his belly button, and started giving his partner rubs in earnest. “Don’t call me that.” Jayce rolled his eyes. “How about ‘my pookie,’ then?” “Viktor, that's not better.” “Pookie it is.” “God, I hate you sometimes.”
June 4, 2025 at 7:20 PM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
Ooo, look, another #FatJayVikWeek2025 WIP

Bonus points if you can guess which day this is for
They needed this, Jayce and Viktor kept telling themselves. They needed a little vacation – as friends – together. Do a little something to take the edge off – as friends – together. They’d been working so hard, so of course they booked a hotel room in a seaside town for two weeks – as friends – together. Well, it was Viktor who booked the room… “Without talking to me about it?” Jayce bared his teeth from his desk.
June 4, 2025 at 3:35 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
what's this? Is this a WIP for one of my #FatJayVikWeek2025 short stories?

You betcha!
130 ~ 300 Viktor got the tattoo a while back, right below his belly button. He got it before meeting Jayce. “What does it mean?” Viktor remembered Jayce asking after their first time having sex (and their third date). “It’s a carrot.” Viktor half-joked. “A carrot?” Jayce looked at him like he was a madman. “Yes. A carrot.” A proverbial carrot to dangle in front of a horse pulling the proverbial carriage. Jayce still didn’t follow. “Like, the number of carrots you can eat in one sitting?” Or maybe Jayce did follow.
June 2, 2025 at 4:22 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
oh yeah, that's right, I like drawing! Just needed to find my sketch pad.

#FatJayVik #Yippee
sketch of fat Jayce with arm, armpit, and chest hair. He's smiling, mid laugh inked sketch of fat Viktor standing around in his briefs
May 28, 2025 at 8:24 PM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
in the background: Sims 4 Jayce and Viktor cuddling/napping on the couch. foreground: Jayce and Viktor's toddler toddling about the home
May 24, 2025 at 12:41 AM
iadmirefromafar.bsky.social
picrew.me/share?cd=tUX...

ta-da
cartoon of a person smiling with both thumbs up. They wear hoop earring and overalls. They have two exclamation points coming out of their mouth
May 9, 2025 at 5:18 AM