THEYRE SO BACK

I’ve missed it so much though! Big big fan

Odysseus was the last survivor of a clan of butthole spreaders

Everyone deserves a butt gooning break once in a while

This is the craziest coincidence considering I called out work a few minutes ago just because I can’t get out of bed from neck pain. I know how it feels Ari. Small movements to stretch it out and a nice hot bath if you can! Best wishes.

Sitting up slightly in the middle just to let out one biiiiiiiiig push…

Yea, high chair aesthetic rules

Being fed yummy slop from a glass jar that turns your brain into pink mush

Letting the slop dribble out of your mouth and onto a pretty pink bib, or just onto your body, what do you care?!

Putting the slop into a bowl and letting you eat and slobber with your fingers

#hypnosis

“Babaguhhplbbbbbbbbbttttt” you spit as you stumble around. Your friend is silly looking at you with that funny face. Wait till they find out they’re gonna have to change you…

“Nodda baby… baby… buh buh… guhhhhhh…” the last sentient words melt out of your mouth as you begin to slobber around your fingers, seems like your potty training is all but gone too! You wet a big puddle right where you stand.

“Uhh… this isn’t funny anymore. Peeing yourself for a joke?”

“Bud I didn’t mean ta say dat! Wowd hawd to say I cuwsed” the situation starts becoming so stressful that you involuntarily stick your fingers in your mouth to suck on.

“I get it now you’re slowly turning into a baby, har har. Get a better act this is just embarrassing!”

“Uh what?” They look at you confused but with a slight smirk, almost like they know you were pulling a prank.

“I don’t know where that came from! I godda-“ your friend interrupts

“If this is like that time you convinced me there was a spider in my hair you can just zip it!”

Omg!!!!!!!!!! I’m blitzed on wine!!!!!!!!

If anything would be on my bucket list it would be to marathon bluey while messing myself obliterated on edibles :p

I’m flattered swirly brain!

Soon after you don’t even need the cart. Your thoughts have slowed to an absolute slosh.

Funny fwuit… staws pwetty… smell poopoo… pwetty staws…

This has been happening more often than you’d like. You keep asking them you need a break as they respond with “riiiiight after this last hit” every time. Afterwards you start to forget you even asked…

Wait… did you even ask? What have you been asking? Oooo more pretty smoke… pretty stars…

They tell you to hold it in until all you see is stars and all they see is a drooling moron staring off into space with a swelled diaper. You don’t remember much during these timeouts other than occasional blips of bouncing colorful fruit, plushes dancing in your face and the occasional mushy spoon.