An American's primary goal in any kind of discourse is to signal that they know 1% more about Europe than another American

:(

I'm investigating her brown

I can't be getting night sweats in November with a broken window

Also, if Glory Hole Simulator just came out, then how has your mom been playing it for 60 years

A friend of mine worked at a run-down adult video store, with private viewing rooms that were like "we can't say 'you can have sex in here' but we're not gonna check if you do", and my understanding of their job is that they kind of did this exact thing

condom balloon with a polaroid photo of the old engagement bar taped to it

I feel like 2016 Donald Trump would have cut the East Wing off in one contiguous chunk, moved it to a soundstage and rented it out for filming. which would have been rad

Heyyyyy >:T

I don't know how you could get a sub-14-minute time on a 1.5 mile run unless you were literally just walking

bsky has that vibe a lot of other new social media sites have, where it seems like it was designed by someone who gets blocked a lot, and is thus really dedicated to making a block system that as non-hostile to the blocked person as possible

You won't believe me that this subtext didn't even occur to me